Cultivating Forbearance in the Family

(Minghui.org) I used to be sick and weak, but after I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2006, my health improved a lot. To this day, I have not needed to take any medication.

A few months after my daughter-in-law gave birth in 2021, my husband fell seriously ill. As I needed to take care of him, I struggled to look after my daughter-in-law, which led to some resentment on her part. She became very critical of me, saying that I was wrong in this and that, and nothing I did was right. But, as a cultivator, I held no resentment or hatred, and continued to treat her kindly.

After my daughter-in-law returned to work, her mother came to help her take care of the child. However, her mother often complained about things in my home. One day, she shouted, “Your water is not good!” She was referring to the brand of water purifier I used, which is different from hers. She added, “My niece sells the same water purifier brand as mine. Why don’t you install that brand? Are you afraid she’ll make money off you? Even if she does, so what?” Her remarks made me feel uncomfortable, but I chose not to argue, keeping Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance in my heart.

One day, I made a fresh vegetable dish for dinner. I told my daughter-in-law’s mother, “Please don’t let your daughter eat this dish because I added a small chili.”

She was furious, and exclaimed, “Why did you put chili in it!? Didn’t I tell you not to buy chili? Why don’t you listen to me?” I explained that the vendor gave me the chili when I bought the vegetables. But she still argued, “You just don’t listen. Do you know why my daughter treats you like this? It is because you don’t pay attention. We will have a family meeting tonight and call your son back from work.”

In frustration, I retaliated, “With a mother like you, your daughter will not turn out well either.” As soon as I said this, I knew I was wrong.

During the pandemic in 2021, my daughter-in-law’s mother visited us again. I usually buy Napa cabbage to make pickled vegetables every autumn. I called my son to see whether he had time to go to his father-in-law’s house to get some. He didn’t think he would have time, and told me to just buy 100 yuan worth of cabbage from the market. When my daughter-in-law’s mother came to my house and saw the cabbage, she questioned me sternly, “Why did you buy it? Why didn’t you ask me before buying them?” I explained that I asked my son to get some, but he didn’t think he would have time. She deliberately raised her voice in front of her daughter, accusing me, “You made that up. Go ahead, keep making it up.” It was clear she was implying that I was lying.

Another time, I wanted to kiss my grandson’s neck. But I ended up kissing his little face because he turned his head. My in-law immediately reported to my daughter-in-law, “Your mother-in-law wants to kiss the child’s mouth.”

My daughter-in-law asked me why I would want to do that. I explained what happened, but she responded, “You can kiss the child’s face, but I won’t let you kiss the child’s mouth.” I thought as a cultivator I should not argue.

The tests came, one after another, as I walk the path of cultivation. I always keep Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance in my heart. My daughter-in-law rarely spoke to me, and when she did, her tone would be often harsh. One day, she talked to me in a rough manner. I felt it was not good for her, so I told her, “Please don’t speak to me like that in the future. It’s not good for you either.”

She responded, “I want to be nice to you, will you let me?” I didn’t say anything. She added, “You once told my mother, ‘With a mother like you, your daughter won’t be good either.’” I was shocked to hear her say that back to me. Yes, I actually said that.

After she went to work, I reflected on my words and realized that I was wrong. As a cultivator, how could I say something like that? I was wrong and needed to apologize. I picked up the phone, called my daughter-in-law’s mother, and sincerely told her, “We haven’t gotten along well. This is all my fault.”

It was almost the Chinese New Year holiday, and my daughter-in-law’s mother came to me and said, “I have ordered a whole pig for the holiday.” I told her that I could use the front elbow and a slab of pork rib. She told me that she might not be able to give me the pork ribs. I was okay with that. Then she said she was worried that we would be unable to buy good quality meat from the market, noting that her brother’s family raised their pigs to ensure good quality. Seeing her concern, I agreed to buy some meat from her. However, when I went to her house to get it, she only gave me a front elbow.

My son said later, “They saved the ribs for themselves.” I didn’t mind, and asked how much the front elbow cost. My son answered, “1,400 yuan.”

I was surprised. Considering that the best pork in the market was only 17 yuan per pound, I thought it seemed unreasonable. Despite that, I said it was fine, and didn’t get angry. I only had one thought in my mind: “I must owe them the money from my previous life, and now I have to pay them back. Only by paying it back can I return to my true home in heaven.”