Cultivating Myself and Eliminating My Attachments While Working as a Nanny

(Minghui.org) I’m 58 years old and I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2002. For the past six years I’ve worked as a housekeeper—a profession often regarded as low in social status and one through which I interact with all kinds of families. Wherever I work, I always do my best to validate the Fa. I’m careful never to bring discredit to Dafa. Even if I only work for just a day or two, I always strive to show a practitioner’s compassion. Over the years, I’ve experienced all kinds of xinxing tests, some were truly heart-wrenching.

Eliminating the Attachment to Saving Face and Zealotry

In 2023, a fellow practitioner told me about a job caring for an 87-year-old lady, whom I respectfully call “auntie.” She lived alone and was able to take care of herself. The monthly salary was 2,500 yuan ($350) with no days off or holidays. Although the pay was modest, it allowed me to go out every morning to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution. Another practitioner previously worked for her but had to leave. I assumed she created a good cultivation environment so I happily accepted the job.

I began my job on the seventh day of the Lunar Chinese New Year holiday, when auntie’s two sons and their families, a total of five people, came over for dinner. Facing such a large group of people on my first day of work, made me extremely nervous, and I worried whether my cooking would measure up. To make matters even more stressful, three of them are leaders at their workplaces, and some have international experience. I also heard they praised the previous practitioner’s cooking, which made me feel even more pressure to perform well.

I realized these feelings weren’t my true self, but rather the attachments of fear and saving face. I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them and recited “Falun Dafa is good” repeatedly. In fact, I’m a good cook and others often compliment me. When the meal was finally served, everyone praised my cooking, and nearly all of the food was eaten. When they returned the next day auntie asked me to prepare more food. Again, they ate all the food. My zealotry surfaced, and I thought, “I passed this test and did not lose face.” I realized this was not a righteous thought, but I did not suppress it. Then a xinxing test came.

Later on, during an evening meal with auntie, I noticed from her expression that she did not like my cooking. Confused and hurt, I wondered, “Could my cooking be so bad?” A few days later, she finally voiced her frustrations, “What kind of food do you cook every day? It’s awful and tasteless.” She threw down her chopsticks and refused to eat. I was stunned. In my six years of working as a housekeeper, no one ever treated me like this and everyone loved my cooking.

I started reflecting on myself and realized the issues stemmed from my attachments of zealotry and saving face. I immediately rectified my thoughts and eliminated those attachments. I remembered auntie had just been discharged from the hospital after having COVID. I asked someone who previously had COVID about their symptoms, and she told me she felt weak all over and lost her sense of taste. I suddenly realized auntie’s complaints were not because of my cooking, but because of her temporary loss of taste. I gently explained this to her. She felt embarrassed and never mentioned it again.

As a practitioner, I could not hold a grudge against her just to save face. Dafa teaches us to always consider others first. I tried my best to cook delicious meals suited to auntie’s taste every day and made sure each meal was different. Gradually she fully recovered from the aftereffects of COVID.

Let Go of Self-Interest

One day, practitioner Feng from another town visited my neighbor Liang who is also a practitioner. Feng suffered from illness karma for a few years but could not make a breakthrough. They hoped I could go back home to meet Feng and help her. Auntie asked me to buy some ground meat, and there was a butcher shop near my home. I bought the meat first, then stopped by Liang’s home. I stayed a little longer that morning and did not arrive at auntie’s home until close to 11:30 a.m. I typically arrive between 10:30 and 11:00.

As soon as I walked in, she scolded me, “Why are you back so late? Did you go home? Where’s the wheelchair in the storage room?” (She implied I might have taken it home.) She brought the wheelchair home after being discharged from the hospital, but never used it and put it in the storage room. Only she and I had the key to the room. When she told me she couldn’t find it in the storage room, I told her I would check immediately.

I opened the storage room door and saw it was there. I carried the wheelchair upstairs and showed it to her with a smile, “Auntie, look, it’s here!” She smiled awkwardly and said, “I didn’t see it. You didn’t have to bring it up.” I told her I wanted her to see it. Her face immediately flushed. I took the whole thing lightly and happily took it back to the storage room. Then I washed the tomatoes I bought with my own money and brought them to her with smile, “Auntie, please try some of my tomatoes.” She became even more embarrassed, “You can just use the money I gave you. Why did you spend your own money?” I told her it was not a problem.

After this incident, I looked within to see where I hadn’t done well and followed the Fa, as her being suspicious of me was not a coincidence. I recalled she kept peeking in on me recently while I cleaned the kitchen. I thought to myself, “I’m not stealing anything. Watch all you want.” Then I remembered another thing. A few days ago, she had no potatoes. Since I had some at my home I offered to bring them here to save her money. She was happy. But I did not want use my new bags for the dirty potatoes, so I grabbed two used plastic bags from her kitchen and put them in my apron, then put them in my bag when I got dressed, without telling her. Even though she didn’t see me and it was for her benefit, it was still dishonest. That was the root of the problem. What seemed like a small incident turned out to be a big deal, as the gods and Buddhas are watching me. I must rectify myself.

The next day, I sincerely apologized to her. She said, “This isn’t a big deal.” I explained, “I did not say anything before precisely because I did not think it was a big deal. But in the eyes of Gods, I am a thief.” She smiled knowingly. I always thought my attachment to self-interest was weak, but through this incident, I realized it was still strong. Master used this incident to wake me up.

Eliminating Jealousy and a Competitive Mentality

Auntie was frugal. The Lantern Festival took place just a few days after I started working for her, and her oldest son brought grapes and bananas. She immediately said, “Why are you buying this? I won’t eat them.” Her son said, “The Lantern Festival is coming. The nanny [me] may also want to eat them.” I knew she loved fruit, so she was worried I might eat the fruit her children brought. I felt very uneasy and thought, “I’m not eating your fruit. If I want some, I can buy it myself. I won’t give you any.”

One day, I saw some large fresh strawberries on sale at the supermarket downstairs for just five yuan a box. I bought a box and brought it back to my room to enjoy. As I picked up a strawberry, I accidentally dropped it on the floor and I immediately felt uneasy. Was I living up to the standards of a Falun Dafa practitioner? Just then, the phone rang, it was my sister checking in on me. She said, “Oh, the auntie you are taking care of is 87 years old. Please do your job well and treat her like your own mother.”

My face immediately flushed with shame. Even an ordinary person like my sister was thoughtful, yet I was petty, and got upset over trivial matters. Dafa teaches us to always consider others first, but I saw that I lacked a practitioner’s tolerance. I realized Master used my sister’s words to enlighten me. Tears welled up in my eyes, I was grateful for Master’s compassionate salvation and concern for his disciples. I felt I let down Master’s infinite grace. I quickly chose the best strawberries and offered them to auntie.

Reflecting on my unkind thoughts, I recognized my feelings of jealousy and my competitive mentality. I immediately sat down and sent forth the righteous thoughts to eliminate them, rectifying all my thoughts and actions that were not complaint with the Fa. As my compassion began to emerge, I felt sympathy for auntie. She had few visitors. Her daughter only came occasionally and never brought her anything. Afterwards, whenever I bought fruit I made sure to wash it and offer it to her first. Although she often insisted on paying, I always reassured her it was not necessary.

I often thought of the words Master used to enlighten me through my sister—to treat the auntie like my own mother. I reminded myself to treat her well, as I sought to cultivate compassion according to Dafa’s teaching. She loved dumplings, so I always made extra for her and fried the leftovers for her. I typically skipped dinner myself, but when I cooked dumplings for her, she deliberately ate less, inviting me to eat as well. I accepted a few as a gesture. Over time she became increasingly attentive of me. Since my room on the first floor was colder in the spring, she gave me her electric heater. If she saw I wasn’t wearing enough clothing, she worried about me. She also stopped watching me while I worked, and if I was late, I just told her in advance, which gave me more freedom to clarify the truth about Dafa to others.

I worked for her for five months, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to resign. She was reluctant to let me go and said in a trembling voice, “I hope you come back.” She called me several times, asking me to return. I truly wanted to go back. but I was concerned that if I did, her current nanny would lose her job. Her current nanny was older and would have difficulty finding a new job. After much thought, I decided not to go back.

This is my cultivation experience while working as a housekeeper. Please kindly point out anything that does not conform to the Fa.