My Resentment and Other Human Notions Were Exposed

(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1998 and I’m now in my 50s. In 2022, I realized that my cultivation status was not good, so I visited Lan, a practitioner who lived by herself.

After dinner, I talked a lot and made her listen to Dafa practitioners’ songs. Lan was very forgiving and did not argue with me. Two hours passed and we missed the time to send forth righteous thoughts at 6 p.m. Although I wasted two hours of her time, Lan was not upset.

We started to study the Fa—she was copying the teachings by hand while I was memorizing them. But the words did not stay in my mind no matter how I tried.Seeing my frustration, Lan said, “I have something to tell to you.”

“What do you want to say to me?” I replied angrily. “I came to you because my cultivation status is not good. I’ve been here for a few hours, but I have not been able to learn any Dafa teachings.” Seeing my attitude, Lan remained silent.

Identifying and Eliminating Resentment

After I calmed down, Lan said, “When I noticed you were so angry, I started to look within to see where I could improve.” I was moved by her words and began to look inward at myself as well. I wasted her time and delayed her studying the teachings, but she didn’t complain. Wasn’t I being selfish and inconsiderate? I knew I should apologize.

Before I could get the words out, Lan said, “I’m sorry I wasted your time.” I replied, “No, it’s my fault. I interrupted your routine and even complained. But you’re so forgiving. I’m sorry.” She said, “No worries,” and we began to share understandings.

We chatted for a while and Lan asked, “It seems you often look down on Hong.” I said, “She is snobbish and tends to show off. She has too many Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture elements.”

Lan said, “Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) often tells us to look within when we see others’ shortcomings. Maybe it’s not accidental that you saw that.”I knew I had to agree. Other practitioners are like mirrors and in them I can see my own problems.

Lan said it was my human notions at play. While Hong and I resented each other, it was our human notions that made us feel that way, not our true selves. Lan said, “Please let go of your resentment for her and your need to complain about her. Whoever eliminates those negative feelings first improves first. Can we as Dafa disciples return to our true selves if we still harbor those notions?”

What Lan said was true. All these years, I always felt Hong had many shortcomings and did not behave like a practitioner. With these realizations my resentment was gone and I felt relieved.

Changing Human Notions and Looking Within

During the pandemic, I often went out to tell people the facts about Dafa and how to remain safe by quitting the CCP. My husband suggested that I go out less often due to the pandemic, but I assured him I would be fine. One day, I suddenly felt unwell and a voice in my head said, “You were infected.” I knew the old forces were trying to take advantage of this, so I began to negate it.

A practitioner came over and suggested that we visit practitioner Jing. We had dinner together and, noticing my condition was not good, they recommended I recite the Fa or the phrases “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” By then my mind was no longer clear and I could barely speak.

Jing asked the other practitioner to leave while the two of us studied the teachings. We studied one lecture of Zhuan Falunbut it was hard for me to continue, so we decided to meditate, but I was sleepy almost immediately. Jing reminded me to stay awake, but it was difficult. She later told me that some bad thoughts also went through her mind at the time, such as, “Don’t waste your time on her [me]. She is hopeless.” She negated those thoughts and repeatedly reminded me, “Please ask Master for help.”

I did as she suggested and said, “Master, where have I gone wrong?” As I kept asking this, one thought suddenly came to mind: “Not respecting Master and not respecting Dafa.” How could that be? I was always respectful when I read the teachings. I also told others to not put lamps, cell phones, or other items on top of Dafa books. Other practitioners said I did well in this regard. What did it mean that I was not respectful of Master and Dafa? I was confused.

Looking at Master’s portrait, I asked again, “Master, please give me a hint. Once I understand this, I will also remind other practitioners to do better.” Then one thought came to mind: “Having random thoughts while doing the exercises instead of focusing on Master’s words.” I was shocked and immediately became awake.

Seeing me suddenly sitting straight up, Jing was surprised and asked what happened. “Now I know,” I told her excitedly. “When I do the second exercise, I have all kinds of random thoughts; when I do the third exercise, I move my hands before Master says to; when I do the fourth exercise, I move ahead of Master’s instructions. That is, I do not do the exercises following Master’s words.”

Falun Dafa cultivation is indeed miraculous and looking within helped me so much. Thank you, Master, for everything. I will do better in the future, and cultivate myself while helping to save more people.