(Minghui.org) I heard about Falun Dafa when I was a teenager, but I did not want to practice. I finally began practicing three years ago.
I always yearned for a better life when I was young and I wanted to live well. But I was disappointed in the real world. I read the main book of Falun Dafa—Zhuan Falun in 1998, but I interpreted the Fa (teachings) with my human notions.
I did not see any Fa principles and I didn’t understand what Falun Dafa was about. When the persecution began on July 20, 1999 I was afraid. I felt society was on a downward slide anyway, so I began indulging myself.
I saw how quickly humanity was degenerating. People abandon morality and ignore their conscience for small profits and compete in business using any means. There is no honor or integrity.
My husband and I were close friends for many years before we married. I thought I could live the “good life” for the rest of my life since I found my soulmate.
But living in China, I was indoctrinated with Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. I was influenced by modern concepts, and I forgot China’s traditional, moral culture. I only superficially understood the principles of being a good person at the level of ordinary people. I always thought I was a good person, and better than others. I didn’t realize I was measuring myself with the moral standards that were degenerated.
Since I knew that suffering and disease were repaying past karmic debts, I tried to endure when I faced tribulations. Although I did not compete with others on the surface, I could not let it go in my heart and often made excuses for my wrongdoing. I thought I was following the requirements of the Fa.
My friends considered me reliable and trustworthy. But I was only interested in saving face. Since I had a good reputation, others said I was a good person, and treated me well.
My husband was kind, and carried the burden of raising a family and taking good care of me. Since I was used to being comfortable I had no sense of responsibility and I was not grateful. Instead I complained.
My husband was busy at work, so we seldom saw each other. I began feeling that I was mistreated. I wanted my husband to put the family and me first. I thought it was his fault since he could not even fulfill my simple wish to have dinner together. I tried to change him. I couldn’t stand not getting what I wanted, and all I saw was that he did not do what I wanted.
When I realized I could not change anything I started indulging myself and did whatever I wanted. I watched TV all day, played games, and went to bars with friends until midnight. My relationship with my husband worsened. We barely spoke to each other. I nitpicked and complained.
After I had our child, the situation worsened. I felt I was the one who sacrificed since I quit my job and stayed home to take care of our child. I often felt I reached my limit. My attachment was so strong that I could not think clearly or realize that I was not behaving like a practitioner.
I began having physical problems. I had sinus tachycardia, shortness of breath, and heart palpitations. I had difficulty sleeping. I was anxious and nervous. I often woke up in the middle of the night, with my heart beating wildly, gasping for air, and my hands shook. It took a long time for me to calm down.
I could not stand up straight because my back was in pain. I could not tilt my head upward. My headaches were so intense that I vomited. I was physically and mentally exhausted.
I Wake Up and Resume Cultivating
When I calmed down I thought: What is the purpose of life? Fame, money, power? No matter how much you gain in this world, it’s meaningless. In the end, we all die. I was obsessed with the good life. When I examined myself and thought about my mistakes compassionate Master did not give up on me and allowed me to reenter cultivation.
When I truly realized what cultivation was and followed the requirements of Dafa, my body and mind changed dramatically. I rectified myself based on Dafa’s principles. I measured myself using the Fa and look inward when I encountered difficulties. I consider others first in everything I did. In the past, my every thought was selfish and for protecting myself.
I have a better understanding of the Fa through continuous Fa-study. I no longer have worries and mental burdens, and I have become cheerful, open-minded, calm, and peaceful. Falun Dafa teaches people to be open and honest and to measure everything using the standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
When I had a conflict with my husband I didn’t raise my voice and argue as I used to. I was surprised that I was no longer easily moved by others; instead I was calm and clear-minded. I was understanding and tolerant. This came from my heart. I never saw this in me before. I realized as a practitioner that all our changes must be genuine, not superficial. These changes are the greatest and are indestructible.
As I continue to measure myself with Falun Dafa’s principles, I discovered that the past conflicts were all my fault. I had no consideration for my husband. After many years of being pampered, I developed many bad habits, such as dependence on others, self-righteousness, jealousy, resentment, competitiveness, and fear of being looked down on.
My husband took his career seriously while I scrambled to prove that I also did well at work. When my husband spent money I was unhappy. I needed to spend more than him to feel good. After we had our child, I became a full-time housewife and I was full of complaints: Why did I have to sacrifice? I became bitter.
After I started cultivating sincerely, I wrote a letter to my husband, expressing my deep regret. I faced my selfishness, destructive notions, and evil thoughts, and I eliminated them. Facing my shortcomings, I would expose them and be honest with others. When I did this, I experienced both body and mind elevation. One by one, my physical discomforts slowly disappeared. I often felt energized. The capacity of my heart expanded, and I could always see the good in others.
Master taught us,
“We should treat everyone well, which of course includes parents and children, and think of others first at all times. Your heart will not be selfish, then, but will be loving, kind, and compassionate. Common people, by contrast, tend to just be motivated by feelings and emotions.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Dafa also taught me commitment and responsibility.
I have changed completely. I now take the initiative to do housework, and I’m no longer obsessed with how my husband treats me. I can understand him, and be kind to him without complaints when facing conflicts. I let go of my attachments to my husband and child and I’ve become a good wife and mother.
While educating my child, I also look inward. I focus on building my child’s character with righteous principles. I gave up my commanding discipline. I don’t worry about whether she’ll grow up the way I want. In my child’s eyes, I’m no longer the horrible, temperamental mother, and she’s become lovely and obedient.
I am grateful for Master’s compassionate salvation! Falun Dafa is so profound. I gained a lot when I considered others. The light of compassion illuminated my life, and I can genuinely feel myself improving.
Cultivation Broadened My Mind
I realized that modern people deviated from tradition and do not conform to the standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, the universe’s characteristics.
Having been brainwashed by the CCP’s indoctrination since childhood, Chinese people’s hearts are full of envy and resentment. They say one thing but do another; they like to exaggerate the facts and show themselves off. They make promises but can hardly keep them. They want to show their goodness but can not think from the other person’s point of view. They are quarrelsome and aggressive, and can’t tolerate those who believe or behave differently than they do. They always shirk their responsibilities and pick on others, and think that they are better than others. They want to prove they are right and others are wrong.
Wives are difficult and demanding, and the husband is irresponsible. Atheism and brainwashing by the Communist Party is destroy our morality. These are the root causes of the present social and family crisis. The communist party has cut off the roots of the Chinese people.
Peoples’ virtue and karmic relationships decide whether they are poor or rich, or live a long or short life. A good life results from virtue accumulated in previous lifetimes. If you want a happy life and a promising future, then you must do good deeds, and be a good person.
Practicing Falun Dafa has given me an open, compassionate, forgiving, humble, and self-reflective attitude towards life. It transformed me from someone who lives for oneself into someone who puts others first. Like me, millions of Falun Dafa practitioners experienced significant changes after they began practicing. They are getting closer and closer to the standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Their lives and morals are genuinely uplifted.
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