Eliminating My Show Off Mentality

(Minghui.org) I couldn’t stop thinking about how to achieve a specific result in a project at work. It seriously interfered with my cultivation as I could not concentrate when I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and sent righteous thoughts.

I knew it was because I had a strong attachment to showing off, fame, and validating myself. I realized I was driven by modern notions so I unconsciously pursued results.

I’m a professional, and I do my job well. I enjoy listening to my coworker’s compliments and I was happy when others recognized my work. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t eliminate this attachment, especially in the work environment.

In the past, I didn’t realize I had an attachment to fame because I thought this only applied to famous people. As I studied the Fa more and talked with other practitioners, I realized my previous understanding was superficial. My attachment was so subtly hidden that I did not see it.

As I gradually dug deeper, I realized that behind everything I did was this unconscious desire to be recognized. After I did something, I guessed what other people would think and their reactions. Since this thought was automatic I didn’t think it was serious. I even thought it was good as I felt it meant I was considerate of others. But I later realized I was pursuing fame.

Master said,

“You like it when other people say that you’re good. You like it when other people praise and flatter you. You like it when other people respect you. And you are afraid of anything that damages your image. All of which is developing the mentality that is vanity. It’s an attachment. The human desire to save face is very strong.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”)

Wasn’t Master describing my behavior? I always felt peoples’ opinions about my work reflected what they thought about me and I wondered if I had a good image.

When I finally identified it, I was surprised I had such a strong attachment to fame. The attachment caused me to show off my achievements at work. I decided to remove this attachment. Whenever I noticed it surfacing, I denied it and suppressed it. I my attachment became weaker, but it was still there.

After we did the exercises recently my mother said, “Are you taking credit for your achievements?” Her words immediately woke me up. I thought, “I’ve always known that all my abilities were given by Master and Dafa.”

Every job and position in the world was created by Dafa. As practitioners our only responsibility is to validate the Fa and save people. Dafa gave us our abilities and Master created everything. However, I was arrogant and proud because of my small success at work. I thought I was superior to others and that I was great.

I starting sending righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachments, and I gradually saw my arrogance; I could distinguish the thoughts that were not my true self, and I understood that I had to eliminate those bad substances. I knew I should approach everything in my work and life with a humble heart instead of feeling arrogant about my little achievements.

Master and the Fa opened my heart and I felt my true self becoming stronger and my heart broadened.

Even the slightest change in me was due to Master’s arrangement and guidance. I will not forget my mission and I will do my best to move forward on the path arranged by Master.