Conflicts with Other Practitioners Point Out My Attachments

(Minghui.org) When the persecution was intense in our area, a fellow Dafa practitioner came to me and said, “Our area needs someone who can help deliver informational materials about Falun Dafa and the persecution. Can you help? We should follow the path Master arranged for us, and help save people.” Joy welled up in my heart. I thought that with the guidance and protection of Master Li (Dafa's founder), I would definitely do a good job. I told him, “Yes, I will do my best.” That righteous thought was a firm foundation for my cultivation path.

Delivering Truth-Clarifying Materials

In order to do a good job delivering truth-clarifying materials, I increased the length of time I read and memorized the Fa. I started memorizing the Fa in 2001. After I memorized one round of Zhuan Falun, I memorized Hong Yin, Hong Yin II, Hong Yin III, Essentials for Further Advancement and Master’s recent writings. I made use of the spare time I had to memorize the Fa. I felt energetic every day and my righteous thoughts were strong.

During the first few years, due to the intensity of the persecution, many practitioners shoved the materials into the doors of houses or threw them into courtyards at night. One morning I noticed a large bag lying on the ground near my wall. When I looked at it, I realized that it contained truth-clarifying materials so I brought it into the house. I kept some for myself and distributed the rest to the other practitioners. 

The next morning, I found another bag of materials. I wondered what I should do. I knew that these materials were meant for saving people, so they cannot be wasted nor can they be kept at home. The other practitioners have difficulty transporting the materials, and that is why they left them at my house. I felt that they were not in the wrong and I should not complain. This is my responsibility. The materials help people understand the truth about Dafa so that they can understand Falun Dafa and the persecution, and can be saved. I must arrange things well. 

During those few days, the temperature suddenly dropped. The winds kept howling as though it was about to snow. I quickly brought the materials to a house of a relative (who is also a practitioner), which is five miles away. They had no materials to distribute in that area. After that, along with four or five other practitioners, I helped distribute the big bag of materials.

Gradually, the practitioners became more and more experienced in distributing materials and their righteous thoughts increased. I interacted directly with the practitioner who made the materials and he gave me the amount I asked for.

I later interacted with more practitioners. Some wanted Dafa books and Master’s recent writings. Some wanted truth-clarifying booklets and DVDs; others wanted truth-clarifying currency bills, some wanted copies of The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, some wanted truth-clarifying stickers, etc. The requests kept coming in. I also distribute truth-clarifying materials and The Nine Commentaries, as these materials are all very important.

I felt that time was very tight and I was sometimes tired both physically and mentally. When that happened, I lengthened the time I read the Fa and practiced the exercises. I knew that practitioners were one body. These matters were arranged by Master and they were my mission, my responsibility. I wanted to let go of my selfishness. Falun Dafa practitioners should be magnanimous, compassionate and tolerant. At the same time, I must not be afraid of enduring hardship or trouble. I must satisfy fellow practitioners’ requests to the best of my ability.

I didn’t have a car or motorcycle, so I rode my bicycle to distribute materials. Sometimes I needed to go to a few places. When some practitioners’ family members objected, I contacted these practitioners beforehand and delivered the materials at night.

Things went on like that for more than seven years. The practitioners in our area were divided into several Fa-study groups and I was in charge of delivering materials to two groups. In order to avoid materials being sent to practitioners twice or leaving out any practitioner, I assigned the tasks: every practitioner who was in charge of transporting the materials was in charge of their area’s material distribution.

There were many new buildings in one location, and people were already starting to move in. The other practitioners and I discussed this, and we assigned some practitioners to distribute materials there. The quantity of truth-clarifying materials we distributed was great. Some material production sites could not meet the demand so they printed out the materials and asked practitioners to take the materials home and bind them. One group of seven practitioners did extremely well at this. For fifteen years they quickly prepared and distributed materials.

During these more than twenty years of transporting truth-clarifying materials, my husband and daughter supported me. Whenever I was busy or I was not home due to some matters, my daughter helped by getting the materials and quickly delivering them. If I needed to go to somewhere far to deliver materials, my husband drove me on his motorbike.

Sometimes I met practitioners’ family members who did not practice Falun Dafa. Some were frightened by the Chinese Communist Party’s policy of implication, and scolded me. Others immediately chased me out. Although I knew that this was an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing, when I was not able to hold my anger, I said bad things about them such as, “They do not understand the situation,” or, “They have poor character.” etc.

When I calmed down and looked within I found many attachments such as being attached to complaints and hatred, to doing things, completing tasks, impatience, showing off, and wanting others to think well of me. These attachments were all obstructions on my path of cultivation. They were notions that were acquired postnatally and I needed to get rid of all of them. Why did I meet with these problems? It was because I studied the Fa too little and had a strong attachment to doing things. I treated doing things as cultivation. Now I understand that actual cultivation is not just taking on more hardship and sacrificing more. I need to truly improve my xinxing.

Getting Rid of My Attachments During Conflicts With Other Practitioners

Over time, my ego expanded. I felt that all the truth-clarifying materials, lists of people who quit the CCP, and others, must be handled by me. When I heard that some practitioners obtained their materials from others, I felt unsettled. Master gave me a chance to improve in my cultivation.

I always delivered materials to Annie, Bing Bing, Caning and Dandi. However, in the spring of 2022, they all said that they no longer needed my help. Annie said, “You don’t need to bring materials to me. I will get them somewhere else. I can also go somewhere else to get the truth-clarifying currency bills I need.” Bing Bing originally ordered two thousand dollars worth of truth-clarifying bills. She also said that she got them from someone else. Caning said that she did not have the capability to bind the truth-clarifying booklets at home. In the past, I bound all her materials before delivering them to her. When I met her and asked her when she needed them, she said, “No need for you to bring me any, I have them already.”

When I went to the market to clarify the truth and met Dandi, she happened to be asking another practitioner for three to four thousand dollars worth of truth-clarifying bills. I told her that we had over twenty thousand yuan worth of bills right there, but she said, “I better get them from her.” I thought to myself, “You are not worried about making another practitioner do more work. I have some here but you do not want them. Instead, you ask others to deliver them to you. What’s wrong?”

One day, Annie told me again that as there was a Fa study group at her house, she would give her list of people who quit the CCP to another practitioner to submit instead of me. I replied, “It doesn’t matter who submits them.” Although I said so, her words moved my heart. I thought, “These practitioners are so unreasonable. In the past, I delivered all the materials to them, even though it’s so difficult. Now that the environment has relaxed, you don’t want me to help you. Even non-practitioners talk about reputation.”

I started to complain about these practitioners and forgot that this must be Master’s arrangement to expose my attachments. I even thought that I had been delivering Dafa materials for more than twenty years, and these practitioners all knew this. Was someone jealous of me? Wild thoughts ran through my mind and I did not see the real issue. This may seem like a small thing but I could not overcome it even after a few months. Master saw that I really could not understand, so he used another method to help me enlighten. This made me realize that nothing is a small matter in cultivation. It would not do if we don’t do well, and even the smallest attachment has to be eliminated.

One day, I went to a practitioner’s home to switch my flash drive for a new one that contained experience-sharing articles, and I also planned to exchange cultivation thoughts with her. I wanted to ask her where I went wrong, hoping that she would point out my attachments. I also wanted to ask her why she no longer wanted materials from me. I felt this may be an opportunity for her to improve in her cultivation, too. 

While thinking about this, I took out my flash drive and placed it besides another practitioner’s flash drive on a table. I turned around and put on my jacket. When I turned back again, the flash drives were gone. I could not find them anywhere. When I looked up, there were two self-sealing envelopes on the windowsill. There was one flash drive in each envelope. One belonged to the practitioner, the other I did not recognize. My flash drive had a capacity of 16GB with a red back, but this drive was black. There was a small yellow sticker in the center which sparkled in the sunlight. The words “Authentic Product” were on the sticker. I was stunned. The drive changed in just two minutes? This was amazing!

I immediately understood that this was Master’s arrangement for me to improve my cultivation. I said to Master, “Master, I am wrong. Asking the practitioner to exchange cultivation thoughts is looking outward! Isn’t my intention to blame other practitioners? Aren’t I wrong to question the practitioner about why she no longer gets materials from me? I am trapped within the problem!” I felt ashamed. This was such a small matter but I did not enlighten and realize what my attachment was.

I calmed down and looked within. I measured myself based on the Fa and understood that this was arranged by Master so that I could improve in my cultivation, so that I could attain consummation and complete my cultivation in Falun Dafa. At that same time, I recalled that Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun about the “four-for-one deal.” Master’s arrangements are wonderful.

The feeling of loss and depression and that hung over me for the past few months disappeared. On the path of cultivation, the divine do not look at how much you have done or who caused the problem. No matter how many things a person does, if he is not doing it based on the Fa, it is just humans doing things and it will not help to improve one’s cultivation. I understood that for Dafa practitioners, no matter what project we participate in, or what our role is, we are all cultivating. We all have to improve our xinxing and do well while participating in our projects. Only by cultivating ourselves well can we raise our cultivation levels, elevate our realms and save more sentient beings. Only when we do things based on the Fa, can we avoid taking detours and meet with fewer difficulties.

I identified some of my attachments, but I still hadn’t found the root cause. There seemed to be some attachments that were hidden deeply which had yet to be found. While writing this cultivation article, I again dug deep within. 

I had so many convoluted thoughts because practitioners no longer wanted to get their materials from me. This showed that I have strong jealousy, and I also sought fame, I liked to show off, and I insisted on my opinions. When I looked at this matter based on the Fa, I was able to see the gaps in my cultivation.

I suspected that those practitioners were jealous of me, but when I looked at myself, I realized how strong my own jealousy was. When the practitioners did not get their materials from me, isn’t that fulfilling what Master said about having material production sites everywhere? Isn’t this a good thing? Why did I feel unhappy?! How could I attain consummation without getting rid of these attachments? How can I follow Master home in this state? This is Master’s compassionate arrangement to help me improve, get rid of my jealousy and elevate my cultivation level. Thank you, Master for your benevolent arrangement!

Over these past twenty years, great Master used the Fa to transform me from a weak and ignorant person into an unbreakable Dafa practitioner. I am becoming clearer and clearer in my understanding of the Fa principles. My soul is becoming more and more pure and becoming more and more mature in doing the three things as I progress on my path towards divinity. I feel so honored!

Having gone through many ups and downs, I know Master has been protecting me. No words can express my gratitude for being able to be immersed in Master’s grand benevolence. Thank you, Master!