Laziness and Fear of Hardship Keep Us from Diligent Cultivation

(Minghui.org) I finally found the root of my laziness and my troubles.

Since I was young, I’ve always felt “bothered.” Though I have cultivated for many years and let go of much of this attachment, I still had not eliminated the problem completely. This distressed me.

People today long for the good life, do not like to deal with hardship, love relationships, and like to enjoy life. When they encounter trouble, they frown, complain, and shy away from it.

In my cultivation, I too want to avoid hardship. Every time I encounter tests of my xinxing I get impatient. I have realized that laziness and being afraid of hardship are keeping me from diligent cultivation.

While I was meditating yesterday, I seemed to hear many beings in my own world shouting one word, “Bothered!” Many beings were also shouting, “Bitter! Bitter!” I had never experienced anything like that before.

After that, I knew that I was not at the level where I could “Let joy be found in hardship.” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)

Prior to this, I had not realized that being unable to take hardship is a huge attachment.

The hardship that we need to endure during our cultivation cannot be bypassed, so we cannot harbor the thought of being lucky enough to avoid it. I now understand that, in cultivation, we must constantly make a choice between being kind or evil, being hardworking or lazy, and enduring hardship or enjoying ourselves. Being able to endure hardship is a form of selfless behavior.

I know that human attachments are not me—I just need to make choices. My true self is compassionate and good, hardworking and not lazy. My true self is peaceful and not angered or troubled. It is just innately innocent.

A new practitioner came to stay at my house for a few days recently. Her family objected to her cultivating Dafa, so she was reluctant to go home. Her mother threatened her, saying, “If you still don’t come home, I will report you to the police.” I encouraged her to do well at home and persuaded her to go back. She finally came around and I took her home.

There was still no pandemic outbreak in the area where I was staying. But after I dropped her in another city so she could take a train, an outbreak was announced. After I sent her off that day, just as I was about to head home, traffic was suspended. I had no choice but to stay at a relative’s house. Actually, the city where my relative lives had not had an outbreak yet, although it was just about an hour’s drive from the pandemic-ridden area.

My relative’s community had not discovered anyone with the virus, so I was not too worried. I had not expected to receive a call from someone on the third morning, saying they were from the epidemic prevention office. They asked me where I was, if I’d had the vaccination and said that they wanted to transfer me to the district where I had originally been. That disturbed me, so I hung up the phone and took out my phone card, thinking that would be the end of that.

But things were not as simple as I had thought. The next morning, the intersections leading to my relative’s house were blocked. People and cars were guarding them, taking turns so that people could not exit. They only allowed people to enter and told everyone to wait at home as they went door to door handing out nucleic acid tests.

I started to feel that things were not quite right. I thought that they were putting in so much effort with all this, so they must not just be doing nucleic acid tests. I sent forth righteous thoughts for the whole night and looked within. I also asked myself if I had any fear. I felt quite calm afterward and went to sleep after sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight.

The next morning, I woke up quite early but my sister (a fellow practitioner) was up before me and was sending righteous thoughts. She saw that I had just woken up and told me that she had just seen a demon that said that it was waiting to watch a joke. When my sister asked, “What joke?” it replied that they were waiting to see me be quarantined after the nucleic acid test. My sister also said that there were many demons in other dimensions almost completely encircling me.

I asked my sister if I could voluntarily go for the nucleic acid test. She went out to ask the staff outside and they said that nobody was allowed to go out, that everyone had to wait at home.

I thought I should just face it. But later I found an exit and went out. I happened to see people getting nucleic acid tests down the street so I went to get one. Before this, I had been quite unwilling to take the test. I did not go to get my driver’s license because you were required to have a nucleic acid test first. When I did the nucleic acid test, I found that it was nothing much anyway—they just touched my palate twice.

Looking back at this small tribulation, I had some shortcomings and attachments that demons had seized upon. I was unwilling to go for the nucleic and acid test or be vaccinated. I had come from an area where there was an outbreak, so they were frightened of me. I also realized that, when they called me, I wanted to evade them and was even a bit arrogant.

This incident made me see the danger of mobile phones more clearly. They had traced my location through my mobile phone. I had read articles on Minghui.org about mobile phone security, but I had not really taken them to heart. Mobile phones are convenient but they are also unsafe, so we must be careful when we use them.

My mobile phone is also a big temptation for me because there is so much information I can access on it. If I am not careful, I waste a lot of time on it and delay the progress of my cultivation. I decided to let go of my mobile phone. I now just calm myself down to study the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts. I have found the long-lost feeling of cultivating as if I was just starting.

Though this incident was trivial, it did cause me trouble. It made me realize that it is time for me to really move forward in my cultivation. I feel that I improve every day now, but I am still far from the requirements of the Fa.

Last night, my younger sister talked to me about the inheritance of karma from our ancestors. She said that she has a bad temper, so she would send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I agreed. The next morning when I woke up, I told her, “Actually, having a bad temper is also a display of being afraid to take hardship. Look at the first poem in Hong Yin, which is:

“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.Each and every barrier must be broken through,And everywhere does evil lurk.Abundant troubles rain down together,All to see: Can you pull through?The world’s miseries endured,One departs the earth a Buddha.”(“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)

When someone triggered my emotions, I would feel uncomfortable and did not want to suffer that type of hardship, so I would retaliate.

When I was being persecuted for my faith, I memorized and recited this poem in my heart countless times. Whenever I felt that cultivation was hard, I asked myself if I was able to “Let joy be found in hardship” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)

For so many years, I had been letting myself indulge in both “being bothered” and being “lazy.” I have finally found their roots, which is the fear of enduring hardship.

Our bodies have a lot of negative substances. These substances make us lazy, bothered, and reluctant to move or do what we are supposed to do. They keep us from completing what we are supposed to complete and cause us to lag behind in our Fa study and exercises, clarifying the truth, and sending forth righteous thoughts. They can also make us waste time and create great obstacles for ourselves in our cultivation.

Regarding the fine and sticky negative matter in our dimensional fields, the process of getting rid of the bad substances is a process of cultivation. This requires us to be steadfast and very determined.

In the past, I had often felt tired but did not know why. Despite cultivating for more than 20 years, I had not seen much improvement. I have finally discovered that this was the result of a type of negative matter that is a combination of many attachments, such as laziness, being annoyed, being unable to take hardship, and wanting to enjoy life.

This substance is like asphalt, black and sticky, and is the result of the karma we have accumulated over our many lifetimes. I had never reached it before, but now I have discovered that there is this type of attachment and karma in me.

The above is my own understanding. If there is any room for improvement, kindly let me know.