Master Encouraged Me to Look Inside When I Experienced Conflicts

(Minghui.org) I had some conflicts in recent years, first with a newcomer to our Fa study group. The issue related to the starting time for our group. We were originally scheduled to start at 7:00 a.m. each day, and we usually finished reading one lecture of Zhuan Falun before 9:00 a.m. Practitioners then had their own individual arrangements for the day.

After this fellow practitioner joined our group, she explained that she was taking care of her granddaughter and had difficulty arriving on time. So she asked us to delay our Fa study until she arrived. I was not happy about this because some of our schedules were tight and the delay would interrupt our schedules for the day. However, the practitioner argued that I was too attached to time. We acknowledged her argument and delayed our start time whenever she was late.

I then noticed she always arrived late by five to ten minutes. I felt that something was not right and asked her why she was always late. She just said it was our issue, and we should look within. I felt this was strange, and said, “Our group member’s schedules are tight. What would we find in ourselves regarding your being late?”

When we started late, I became anxious and read the Fa faster and made mistakes. She repeated her assertion of my being attached to time. I knew that I had xinxing problems and worked on correcting myself. But I got anxious whenever she was late by more than five minutes, and I still read faster and made mistakes. She then commented that the way I read was not truly learning the Fa; I was just reading it as a formality.

I got upset and complained about her tardiness, “I made arrangements with others so they could call me after 8:30 a.m. I don’t want them to get anxious if they are not able to reach me.” She replied, “You can just tell them to call you after 9:00 a.m.” I held back my anger and reluctantly said, “Okay.” She then said, “You are too attached to time and validating yourself.” I looked inside and found that I did have those attachments. But I still thought I was not wrong to be upset about her being late. My uneasy feeling persisted.

While doing housework one day, I was still feeling upset about this issue. So I kept reciting, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, Falun Dafa is good.” I did not know what else I could do. As I recited, a phrase suddenly came out of my mouth… “He’s right, And I’m wrong,” What’s to dispute?” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” Hong Yin III)

I was shocked. I knew that Master was telling me to look inside. I realized I must stop insisting on who’s right or wrong on the surface and focusing on others’ faults. I had thought in recent years that I cultivated well, so I did not seriously look inside for my shortcomings. Many of my attachments remained covered, including jealousy and being unwilling to hear criticism. If it were not for this practitioner stirring my mind repeatedly, I probably would not have noticed them. I didn’t argue overtly with anyone, but I harbored resentment deep in my mind. I especially did not like to be criticized, nor admit my mistakes. I’ve now discarded those attachments.

Cultivation Is Serious

In recent years, my back gradually became hunched. Everyday people considered this was just my getting old, so they did not mention anything. However, some fellow practitioners often made comments I did not like, and they sometimes even patted me on my hunched back. I did not like them treating me in such a patronizing way and felt very offended.

Through these experiences, I came to understand that conflicts among practitioners provide good opportunities to expose our attachments and our ways of thinking we formed while living in a Party culture environment. Such conflicts, however, help us to improve our xinxing. People did not know this Fa in the past. I am fortunate to cultivate in Falun Dafa, to be Master’s student in this life, and learn many heavenly laws. I will cultivate myself diligently and not miss this eternal opportunity.

I am now more determined to look inside first and ignore what’s right or wrong on the surface when experiencing conflicts. I work on correcting myself if I find my problem. Even If I cannot find anything, I will treat the conflicts as opportunities to improve. I want to form a habit of looking within so I can meet the standard for a Dafa practitioner as soon as possible and complete my prehistoric vow.

Above is my personal understanding. Please point out any mistakes.