Problems Caused by Lack of Attention to Cultivation of Speech

(Minghui.org) In Zhuan Falun, Master singled out the issue of “cultivation of speech.” This shows that cultivation of speech is very important for a Falun Dafa practitioner. Lack of attention to cultivating my speech has caused me problems throughout my cultivation. Once in particular was so serious that it caused me physical symptoms that I still haven’t fully recovered from.

Badmouthing Turns Into Problems

When I first became a practitioner, my mother was living with my brother to help bring up my little nephew. There were many conflicts between my sister-in-law and my mother. I was working out of town, and every time I came home, I would go to my brother’s house for a few days to spend time with my mother. At first, when my mother told me how badly my sister-in-law was treating her and my brother, I advised her to consider the situation from my sister-in-law’s position. But after a while I agreed with my mother, and I started to hate and resent my sister-in-law. I even said bad things about her.

Every time I returned home from my brother’s house, I would have symptoms of a cold: a sore throat and a runny nose that would take several days for me to get over. At that time, I didn’t know how to look inward. Instead, I always felt that my sister-in-law’s hostility and the bad energy field in her house were causing my abnormal state.

This went on for three or four years before I realized that it was because I was not maintaining my xinxing when I bad-mouthed my sister-in-law. From then on, I no longer ended up with cold symptoms when I went to my brother’s house.

Accumulated Loopholes

There is another thing that I remember very well. I got up one morning after 3:00 a.m. to do the exercises and had a sore throat even though I was fine the night before. So I drank a little water to moisten my throat. Although it hurt, I could still swallow. But within half an hour I couldn’t swallow a drop of water and had lost my voice completely. What could I do?

At that time I had lost my job for the second time due to the persecution. I’d moved to a city thousands of miles away and worked in a Taiwanese company. My salary was low and the work was erratic. If I missed a day, I wouldn’t get paid and I would come under pressure.

I had been practicing for about seven years by then and knew that I must have done something wrong in some way. I quickly calmed down and ran through the events of the previous few days. There was only one thing I felt guilty about: the day before, I had spoken ill of my boss to a coworker for about half an hour. In fact, I knew I was wrong as I was saying it, but I couldn’t help it as I felt she had treated me badly, plus my coworker also complained about her. The result was a really serious physical tribulation.

After realizing my mistake, I meditated to clear my mind of all those bad things and sincerely apologized to Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa.

Within half an hour, a soft object and some hard chunks came out of my throat into my mouth. I rushed to the toilet to spit them out and saw that it was a coin-sized mass of something that looked like pus and blood. After that, my throat was fine. I could drink and talk, and everything was back to normal. It was as if my throat had never hurt.

I knew that, because I realized my mistake and repented sincerely, Master helped me get rid of the rotten flesh in my throat.

Despite this lesson, I did not correct myself completely. I was good for a few years, but then I slowly started to talk about other people again. Beginning in 2015, I was doing it more and more. At different times I was plagued with one or two “annoying” people near me. I knew I shouldn’t say anything negative but I couldn’t help myself. I regretted it and felt ashamed every time, but the next time I did it again. It went on and on for several years.

When I had my teeth cleaned, the dentist told me that all my teeth were loose and my gums were very swollen. I had to take medicine to reduce the inflammation of the gums and stabilize my teeth. I was angry, thinking that the dentist was just exaggerating to make more money.

When I went home and looked in the mirror I was astonished: Most of my teeth were indeed loose and my lower gums were swollen on both sides. Worse still, one of my lower teeth was very loose, higher than the others, and protruding. I was only 45 years old, and my teeth had always been well aligned for as long as I could remember. In the words of people I knew, “They were as straight and nice as dentures.” I suddenly realized: This is the price I will have to pay for repeatedly not cultivating my speech!

The accumulated loopholes in my xinxing eventually led to my being persecuted: I was illegally detained while distributing truth clarification materials. The types of people in the cell varied, but there were more conflicts than among people on the outside. When someone offended me, even if I didn’t say it at the time, I couldn’t let it go and would say something once I found the right opportunity. The more this happened, the more problems I faced. Knowing that I shouldn’t be that way, I still could not maintain my xinxing. This vicious cycle left me exhausted.

One day I was once again offended and got so angry that I wanted to find someone to complain to. I repeatedly tried to calm down but failed. At last I said to myself, “I just won’t say anything this time, even if I die!” After staying calm for the entire day, I found that this matter was actually nothing. From then on, I was gradually able to control myself.

During the process, Master also cleansed me many times. I dreamed multiple times that filthy things came out of my mouth. I realized that if I don’t cultivate my speech, dirty things accumulate on and in my body in other dimensions.

During the final days of my illegal detention, inmates commented about how I never said anything about anyone else. If someone else said that I had said something about someone, they would always say that was impossible and they didn’t believe it.

It has not been easy!

Today, without any treatment, my teeth are solid and my gums are no longer red and swollen. That errant tooth, except for still being a little bit higher, is not so loose and doesn’t stick out. Although my teeth aren’t perfect, it is a big improvement.

That uneven tooth is a reminder that I need to continue to improve my xinxing, and when I cultivate higher, it will naturally recover completely.

After more than 20 years of cultivation, I look back and realize that I have not yet cultivated well in many of the most basic issues. I feel ashamed to face Master when I think of his immense compassion.