Recognizing My Attachment to Hearing Lectures that Disrupt the Fa

(Minghui.org) Giving lectures that disrupt the Fa is a very serious issue. Those practitioners who have done so or have provided opportunities for the speakers must minimize the impact and openly face our attachments. This is the only way to break through the ordeals arranged by the old forces and follow Master home. I was one of the practitioners giving audience to the Fa-disrupting speakers.

Someone from our local area invited several people from Qinhuangdao (a city in Hebei Province) to have an “experience sharing” in the spring of 2012. Someone told me that their cultivation environment was very good and that we should go listen to them. I went and realized they were not sharing their experiences at all. One of the guests gave a speech instead. He boasted how in his area of Qinhuangdao, there was very little interference and acts of persecution. I was envious to hear their circumstances were better than ours, as the persecution in our region was quite severe, with more than 200 practitioners sent to labor camps between 1999 and 2012.

I realized later that, instead of helping us as the speaker claimed, his lecture had a bad influence and caused disturbance among our local practitioners. What happened after his lecture was a good case in point. The person who invited him and his fellows to visit us invited them to the countryside to have another “discussion” in the afternoon after the morning lecture. I followed along and even pulled in the coordinator from the countryside to gather practitioners to listen to the lecture, which also caused interference to the countryside practitioners’ cultivation.

On my way home that night, I realized it was not right and the evil had taken advantage of our loopholes.

The next day, another local practitioner told me that the Qinhuangdao folks were heading to another area in our city to have the “discussion.” I told him that we should not let this continue. I immediately notified the coordinator of that area that they should not let practitioners listen to their “lecture.” On the third day, local practitioners had a discussion about it and everyone agreed that this should be stopped. Those people then left.

It has been ten years since that incident. I only knew it was wrong but failed to recognize the seriousness of giving lectures to disrupt the Fa. I have since been arrested by the police and 610 Office many times. I still did not truly realize the harm and danger until Master’s recent hints and the publication of the article “The Sin of Disrupting the Fa,” as well as the reminders from local practitioners.

After the incident in the spring of 2012, I was arrested in October that year and held in a brainwashing center for 50 days. Although they were not able to “transform” me, it had a negative effect on my family and friends. Just like Master says, “Dafa disciples are suffering, But who is ruined are sentient beings.” (“Every Lifetime was for This Life,” Hong Yin III)

I was arrested again in 2017. After I was released on bail, I was forced to leave home to hide from the police. During the Chinese New Year’s Holiday in February 2019, my right leg suddenly started to ache for no reason. Sending righteous thoughts sometimes helped but didn’t completely eliminate the pain. Then my left leg was injured in a car accident last April and has yet to recover. I found a lot of my attachments and thought maybe it was because of my karma from previous lives.

During this period, people from the local 610 Office and our street management office come to my home twice to try to “transform” me. With Master’s strengthening, I clarified the truth to them.

Looking back, my tribulations over the past ten years were mainly because of my own irrationality and lack of serious Fa study. I was not able to always consider myself as a practitioner. I had attachments to zealotry, showing off, and the pursuit of novelty. My heart was moved when I heard the aforementioned speaker bragging about their local environment, which in turn fueled their arrogance. I not only harmed myself but also harmed our local fellow practitioners and condoned the speakers.

The sin of disrupting the Fa is grave. I need to face and admit my mistakes openly. I need to eliminate my attachments to saving face and pursuing fame in order to break through the ordeals.

Master said,

“As your Master, I have never kept account of the wrong things you have done in your cultivation; I remember only the good things you have done and your accomplishments. Dafa disciples have made it through during cultivation and unparalleled evil persecution, so they are deeply aware of the hardships in cultivation, and they won’t fail to understand the students who have gone down the wrong path. So I am telling you one more time here: all students who have made these kinds of mistakes [spying], starting now it’s best that you publicly state that you are getting rid of that filthy burden and returning to Dafa. Only when you openly reveal everything that you have done wrong will you be able to break free from the secret agents’ entanglement and threats. And only when you openly reveal those things will you be able to remove your attachments and fears.” (“Pass the Deadly Test,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)

“I hope that the students who have gone down the wrong path won’t keep making mistakes. This may be the last time Master teaches the Fa to students like these. Seize your opportunity. Countless gods are watching you, and Dafa disciples and I are looking forward to your return.” (“Pass the Deadly Test,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)

I will use the Fa to purify my mind and make up for the losses and bad influences I have caused.