(Minghui.org) For a while, I always felt sleepy or my mind drifted away while studying the Fa. It was difficult for me to see the Fa with my eyes, read the Fa aloud, or listen to the Fa with concentration. I spent a long time studying the Fa every day, but I didn’t really understand the Fa.
When I studied the Fa this morning, I felt sleepy and was about to fall asleep. I said to myself: “I can’t go on like this, I want to read the Fa well today.” With just this thought, I regained my spirits. Even though the sleepiness returned several times, I was encouraged by the righteous thoughts I had at the beginning, and my confidence had been reinforced, so I could force myself to concentrate while reading the Fa.
The wonderful feeling I had when I first began the practice returned, and my whole body seemed to vibrate from time to time while I read the Fa. I understood that this reflected changes in my microscopic body. Every time I felt the vibrations, I felt my body becoming lighter and floating. And I could feel black airy masses departing my body.
When I reached the part where Master said,
“Just look at the way a qigong master possessed by a fox eats a chicken. When this person gobbles it up, he is not even willing to spit out the bones.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I felt my intestines move strongly and my belly undulate. I experienced the power of studying the Fa with concentration for the first time, and I understood the seriousness of studying the Fa. I used to study the Fa every day, but I didn’t really understand the Fa. I realized that the bad substances that had originated from my attachment to food were cleansed.
I realized that the reason that I had been unable to study the Fa with undivided attention, in addition to the bad thoughts, notions, and desires of ordinary people, was interference from beings in other dimensions. When these beings interfered with me, I took them as myself. So I didn’t reject them, and instead went along with them and indulged them. These beings were afraid of being destroyed or transformed, so they tried their best to confuse me. I told myself not to be fooled anymore, because they were there to destroy me.
I looked within more and searched for the reasons why I couldn’t focus my concentration while studying the Fa. I traced it back to my childhood when I had a desire to be recognized and praised, so I wanted to do things quickly to finish before others. I had the desire to show off, and seek fame, as well as jealousy, a combative mentality, vanity, and so on. These bad habits that I formed in childhood had unknowingly been brought into my Fa-study.
I wrote down my personal experience to remind myself to study the Fa with a righteous mind and undivided attention and to keep righteous thoughts at all times.
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