Improving Myself by Changing My Way of Thinking

(Minghui.org) I went to visit a fellow practitioner who was at home making dumplings. I offered to help and started to roll the dough to make wrappers. After I made several wrappers, she commented, “Look what you have done. Your wrappers are not round and don’t have an even thickness, which makes it hard for me to make the dumplings. I wish I didn’t accept your help.” I became defensive and said, “Dumplings are meant for people to eat. It doesn’t matter how they look. You shouldn’t get too serious about it.”

I chose to ignore her comment and continued making wrappers. She got upset and said, “I’ve never seen such ugly dumpling wrappers; I cannot stand it anymore!” Then she paused, “This could be an attachment that I need to eliminate.” When she started looking inward, I realized I might also have a problem but, at that moment, I could not find any.

That night, I dreamed I was making bean buns. I had cooked the beans, but a large portion of them were under-cooked. I then realized that I had strong human notions. It was time for me to seriously look inward.

What did the fellow practitioner indicate? Why did I not listen to her and become defensive? The reason might be that I used ordinary thinking rather than seeing things from the perspective of a cultivator. Whenever I encountered a problem, I always saw the reason for it as coming from the other party. As a result, I made one mistake after another.

Why did I argue? I found that I focused on saving face and did not pay attention to cultivating my xinxing. In the process of defending myself, it revealed my attachments of having a fighting mentality, jealousy, and resentment, all of which led me to feel wronged.

Why was I unable to make the dumpling wrappers round? It’s because I didn’t do the three things well. I studied the Fa less and didn’t do the exercises persistently. At present, I still cannot sit in the full-lotus position while doing the sitting meditation. I am unable to send forth righteous thoughts at the suggested time slots, especially at midnight. Even when I did take time to tell people the facts about Dafa and the persecution, I had human notions in mind, so the results were often not good.

Having cultivated Dafa for more than 20 years, I wasn’t happy with my state of mind. I still had a lot of human notions. With so many attachments, how could people be moved when I clarified the truth to them? How can I reach enlightenment?

I decided I need to listen to Master and look inward when encountering problems. I will change my way of thinking and cultivate myself first to correct my thoughts and behaviors. I hope to eliminate all my attachments and return home with Master.