(Minghui.org) My family liked to watch the TV series “Journey to the West” while we ate, so I caught a glimpse of the show as well. I was deeply impressed that no matter what tribulations the Tang monk and his disciples encountered or how difficult they were to overcome, nothing could alter their determination to seek the Buddha cultivation way.

Never Give Up

When the Monkey King was punished for violating the celestial law and buried under a mountain for 500 years, it was Tang Monk who released him so that he could accompany him on his journey to the West. At the beginning of the journey, he was untamed and his show-off mentality was hard to suppress. 

At one time, they came across a group of bandits who attempted to rob them. The Monkey King killed all of them, even the last one, who begged for mercy. Tank Monk was shocked by the Monkey King’s killing spree and reprimanded him. Unable to take the criticism, the monkey flew away and abandoned the monk. 

Passing the East Sea, the monkey stopped by the Dragon King’s palace for a drink. The Dragon King told him a story about Zhang Liang of the Western Han dynasty. The Daoist Huang Shigong threw his shoes off a bridge on purpose and sent Zhang to pick them up as a way to test his patience. Zhang did as he was instructed, thereby convincing Huang of his great forbearance. Huang then passed on to him a treatise on military strategy that enabled him to become a great military strategist.

The Dragon King said to the monkey, “Finally, you have encountered a brilliant Master. Why stop halfway?” I burst into tears when I heard that, I was awakened and knew where to go from that point on. 

Back then, I had just been released from a detention center after I was forced to renounce Dafa, as I could no longer bear the torture. I was very depressed and had lost hope. I just wanted to sleep and did not want to face myself. I felt I was no longer worthy of cultivating Dafa. The old forces were vicious and used depression to consume me. One day, I had such a severe headache that I almost passed out. I felt as if I was dying, but I also had the strong desire to listen to Master’s lectures. I struggled to turn my player on. When I woke up, I knew that Master had not given up on me. 

Memorizing the Fa Helps Me Understand the Fa 

When I decided to returned to Dafa, I noticed that I could not take in the Fa when I studied it. My mind was racing and I could not focus. I knew I was blocked. But I was unwilling to leave Dafa like this, so I forced myself to memorize the Fa, hoping that I could correct myself as soon as possible.

In fact, studying Fa but not taking in the Fa was my main problem in cultivation. Since I had only cultivated for six years, I was in a hurry to catch up with everyone else. I also had a strong attachment to showing off and reputation. I evaluated things with human notions. Even when I shared my understandings of the Fa with fellow practitioners, I was trying to impress them and show how brilliant I was. As a result, when I studied the Fa, I was busy searching for new understandings, not measuring myself against the Fa. I covered up my inadequacies with diligence, but who was I fooling?

Another serious problem was that when I studied Fa, I was attached to the pursuit of gaining new knowledge. Again, it was still to show how knowledgeable I was. I used the Fa to meet my selfish needs. I was far from meeting the requirements of the Fa and Master. Whenever I had a tribulation, I would complain that the cultivation path Master arranged for me was too hard. (In fact, I was paying off my own karma and Master has already borne a lot for me.) Not changing myself on the fundamental level, I ran into one tribulation after another. 

I read the Fa over and over and told myself to let go of my human notions. Master already made it clear to me that human notions are the opposite of the Fa teachings! We came down from a holy place to rebuild our divine body to return to our origin—what else could I not let go of and had to hold onto? I meditated with the mind of letting go of human notions. I then felt a large chunk of something fall off my back! (I used to feel that my back was heavy, as if I was tied up.) My body was enveloped with warm energy. Everything was quiet and tranquil around me. My body felt light and my mind was clear. How wonderful that was!

When I memorized the Fa and looked within, I discovered more problems in my cultivation—I often felt that I cultivated well, but when I measured myself against the Fa, I discovered that was not what Dafa and Master required. I had always cultivated based on my own perception. I was at the edge of a cliff without being aware of it. If Master did not awaken me, I would be cultivating along a crooked path without knowing it. How dangerous!

I suggest that fellow practitioners memorize Fa if they cannot concentrate while they study. To study the Fa without understanding is wasting your time.

My Apologies to Master

Only now do I understand what Master meant when he said: “One should gain things naturally without pursuing them.”(“Learning the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

In the past, I was blindly pursuing what I wanted within the framework I set up for myself. Because I didn’t get it, I couldn’t believe 100% in Dafa and Master. In fact, it was a matter of faith.

Perceptually, I know that Dafa is good, but the notion of “seeing is believing” has been preventing me from understanding Master and Dafa further. It is precisely because of this that I betrayed Master at the critical moment. I am really sorry, Master! I am sorry for Master’s compassion and suffering! I repent to Master from the bottom of my heart! I let Master down. I am so sorry.

In the same episode of “Journey to the West” I talked about earlier, when the Monkey King returned to Tang Monk, the monk gave him the golden headband bestowed by Bodhisattva Guanyin. The Bodhisattva also taught the monk the tightening spell. If the monkey dared to disobey his master again, the monk would chant the spell to teach him a lesson. Unable to bear the pain, the monkey rolled all over the ground and attempted to hit the monk with his gold-banded cudgel.

The monk turned around and said, “How dare you attempt to harm your Master?”

How I wish that was Master questioning me! In reality, Master did not do that. He did not give up on me, either, but continued to enlighten and encourage me. How broad is Master’s heart! Tears ran down my face.

I wrote this down to truly repent of my wrongdoing. I am deeply grateful for Master’s compassionate salvation and grateful for fellow practitioners’ precious cultivation experiences shared on Minghui.org, and their selfless support and help. 

I want to encourage fellow practitioners who have made similar mistakes to firmly believe in Master and Dafa. Pick yourself up and do well in your cultivation. Only Master and Dafa can save us. The time left for us to cultivate is limited. We should walk well the last leg of the journey. Do not let Master or sentient beings down and let’s be worthy of this opportunity to cultivate!

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