Patiently and Wholeheartedly Caring for My Strong-Willed Mother-In-Law

(Minghui.org) I have been taking care of my mother-in-law for the past six months, during which time, I have matured in cultivation. My mother-in-law’s health has also improved after she learned the truths about the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and the persecution of Falun Dafa, and expressed support for practitioners.

My mother-in-law is nearly 90 years old. She has worked hard all her life and was thrifty in managing the household. She is also strong-willed, competitive, and controlling. She needs to have the final say about everything or she will complain. Even in her old age, her personality hasn’t changed.

My three sister-in-laws and my brother-in-law’s wife are all afraid of my mother-in-law. None of her children wanted to live with her or take care of her, so I decided to take on that role, even though it was planned long ago that my in-laws would do so.

My husband and I had bought endowment insurance for his siblings who lived in the countryside, so that they could use the money to take turns looking after my mother-in-law in the future, and we would live with our son in a different town far away. Since we wouldn’t be able to physically take care of my mother-in-law, we would help by providing money.

As a Dafa practitioner, however, I knew that I should still help the family, relieve my husband’s worries, and practice filial piety.

Improving Myself and Sincerely Looking After My Mother-In-Law

I am almost 70 years old, and to look after someone with a strong personality is not an easy task. What should I do? I realized that I should do even better in studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the the old forces’ interference that hindered me from saving people, improving myself, and eliminating any incorrect notions.

Master Li Hongzhi (the founder of Falun Dafa) said:

“Under the effect of righteous thoughts, everything around you, as well as you yourself, will undergo changes.” (“20th Anniversary Fa Teaching”)

I thought as long as I assimilate to the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, align my thoughts and actions with the teachings of Dafa, and ensure that my cultivation meets the requirements of the Fa, I would be able to cultivate a heart of great compassion and forbearance, do the three things well, and balance the relationship with my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law has already quit the Youth League, one of the two CCP youth organizations. I decided to help her have a better understanding of Dafa, the persecution, and the the evil nature of the CCP. I told her more about the CCP’s crimes, how Falun Dafa has spread around the world, and other practitioners’ cultivation stories. I also shared with her again the positive changes that I experienced mentally, physically, and spiritually after taking up the practice.

My mother-in-law gradually changed during her time with me. She has become kinder, happier, and smiles a lot more. Her health has also improved. In the past, she needed to take pain medications, including one for her stomachache, every day, and it was difficult for her to get a good night’s sleep. She also needed to frequently apply an ointment to relieve an itchy skin condition.

She now no longer needs to take any pain medications, her skin is rosy and delicate, and she is able to sleep well at night. She once said to me, “I have benefited much from you. I enjoy happiness every day. Every day is New Year’s Day and I am full of energy.”

Master said:

“This field is one of pure harmony, compassion, and right faith.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

Besides clarifying the truth to my mother-in-law, I did my best to take care of her. I always talk to her in a soft tone, help her understand right from wrong, bath her, and wash her clothes. I wanted her to have a happy life.

I also encountered some tests while taking care of her. My mother-in-law developed an unhygienic habit of not cleaning herself proper after defecating. Several times, there were feces on the floor, the chairs, and on her shoes. Whenever that happened, I remained calm and reminded myself to be patient and considerate.

Master said:

“You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

As soon as I recalled Master’s teaching, my heart calmed down immediately.

Although my mother-in-law is old, she is quick-witted and insightful. She is articulate even though she never went to school. Whenever the villagers had a quarrel, they would often ask her to mediate. She is able to persuade people of what is right and what is wrong – she is very persuasive.

No Regret

My mother-in-law says that she regrets not helping me in the past, and often blames herself.

After I had my daughter, my mother-in-law didn’t help me during the postpartum period, with the excuse that her granddaughter was little and she couldn’t help us. During that difficult period, my husband was in the army, and I had to take care of our child by myself, do all the housework, and go to work.

I know that it is her true feeling, but I don’t hold onto what has happened in the past, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my cultivation and doing the three things.

“Your Friends are Also My Friends”

My mother-in-law now has a cheerful personality and likes Falun Dafa practitioners to come over to the house. She often says, “Your friends are my friends, and they are welcome to accompany you.”

She is supportive of my practicing Falun Dafa, does not bother me when I am sending forth righteous thoughts, and studying or reciting the Fa. She doesn’t complain if the meal is served late if I had to send righteous thoughts. When practitioners come over to study, she gives us space by going to a different part of the house.

My family environment has been relatively good since I began practicing Dafa. My family members have all read Zhuan Falun and know that Dafa is good.

I truly cherish this precious opportunity to cultivate. I have never wasted time on electronics or watching TV during all these years. I would spend more than ten hours a day doing the three things as well as reading Minghui Weekly, distributing informational materials about the persecution, or making truth-clarifying phone calls.

I have persisted in working hard for over 20 years, eliminating attachments to fame and personal interests, doing the three things well, and keeping up with the progress of Fa-rectification.

I can now understand the Fa more clearly, have stronger righteous thoughts, and have a purer mind and a kinder heart. I am also in great health, am full of confidence, and my moral character has improved. I am fortunate to practice Falun Dafa and am grateful to Master for his compassion!