Recovery From Severe Depression

(Minghui.org) One day in 2005, my downstairs neighbor dropped by to visit and introduced me to Falun Gong. She advised me not to believe the false propaganda disseminated by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to smear Falun Gong. I assured her that I did not believe a single word being broadcast on television!

Previously, the media had reported that there were many Falun Gong practitioners, spread throughout the country. If the practice was bad, how could it have attracted so many practitioners? After learning about the existence of this practice, I would find myself unconsciously standing in the middle of the street, staring at the sky with this wish, “I don’t know any Falun Gong practitioners. If I meet them one day, I must ask them to tell me more about this cultivation practice.”

Perhaps it was fate when Master sent my downstairs neighbor, who was also a Falun Gong practitioner, to my home. My neighbor offered to loan me a Falun Gong book and I unhesitatingly accepted. The book was delivered to me within a few days.

At that time, I happened to be busy with work, so I could only read in my spare time. Despite re-reading the content a few times, I found it hard to understand its meaning. Although I lived just one floor above my neighbor, we had never visited or talked previously. I was not close with my neighbor and found it hard to casually approach her for help.

Three months later, my husband mentioned that there was a Falun Gong practitioner in his work unit who had very good moral character. I happily said, “Please invite him to our home and ask him to tell me more about Falun Gong.” Initially, my husband rejected my suggestion. His colleague was busy with work and would not be able to spare the time. Moreover, our homes were located so far apart, adding to the difficulty. Undeterred, I continued to repeatedly encourage my husband to invite his colleague over.

Finally, my husband’s colleague and his wife came to visit. He told me that Falun Gong is a practice that teaches people to be kind and good. The Tiananmen Self-Immolation Incident, among other news, was fabricated. From then on, I realized that Falun Gong and Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of the practice, are innocent. The CCP had instigated a campaign to smear Falun Gong’s reputation and brutally persecute practitioners. I was stunned to learn how the CCP employed despicable tactics to torture the virtuous and kind Falun Gong practitioners!

Understanding the truth did not diminish my determination to learn Falun Gong. From that day onwards, my husband’s colleague and his wife frequently dropped by to teach me the exercises and play videos of Master’s lectures.

While watching the video of the second lecture, I started feeling cold. The following day, I found myself with a fever. When my husband’s colleague came over, he told me, “Master’s Fa lecture videos should be watched daily. It’s best to watch them continuously without breaks.” I told him about my fever and how I was taking medication for it. He said, “This is a sign that Master is purifying your body. If you take medication, the disease will be suppressed within your body again. This method will help clean out the bad things from your body.” On hearing his words, I stopped taking medicine.

Subsequently, I started having severe diarrhea and vomiting. I could not even keep down water. My body was so weak, I was hesitant to return to work. My husband’s colleague then advised me. “Do not lie at home and treat your symptoms as normal illness. You should continue with work as normal.” I listened to his advice, though I found myself constantly visiting the workplace toilet. Two weeks later, I started hearing Falun Gong exercise music, no matter where I was. I started to wonder if this was a hallucination of my mind.

After obtaining the Fa, I found true happiness and meaning as a result of practicing cultivation, counting myself blessed to have obtained Dafa in this lifetime! I started venturing outside after work to distribute truth clarification materials, no matter how late it was. My husband would frequently accompany me and assist with my distribution efforts. My downstairs neighbor began sending me additional cultivation materials and copies of Minghui Weekly. She would leave them on my doorstep while I was still at work. We seldom met and did not study the Fa together.

Despite having obtained Falun Gong, I did not study the Fa nor do the exercises diligently. Having cultivated alone in isolation, I was practically like an ordinary person.

Overcoming Sickness Tribulation

In 2011, I developed symptoms of sickness karma, which became more severe over time. Every joint in my body ached, the rest of my body was in constant discomfort, and I found myself suffering from severe insomnia. Additionally, a hard growth developed on my left lower abdomen, making it hard for me to lie down or sit up. I lost my appetite for food and felt constantly hot and cold. Eventually I visited a hospital but was told there was nothing wrong with my health. Doctors there told me I was likely suffering from menopause and depression.

The doctors issued a diagnosis of major depression. My mother had also suffered from this same condition at my age. The severity of my illness forced me to stop working. At the same time, cracks started appearing in my previously harmonious marriage. My husband began beating and scolding me, and our relationship began to break down. Gradually, he stopped talking and started avoiding me, to the extent that he would stay with his parents instead of returning home. Soon, my in-laws started giving me unkind looks.

By then, I had been physically and mentally tortured to the brink. I was extremely thin, with dark circles under my eyes and a gloomy complexion. My colleagues avoided me and I found myself drenched in loneliness and fear. My worsening condition also caused my parents much heartache, with my mother frequently shedding tears of worry.

Gradually I became suicidal, to the point I even heard a voice saying, “Jump off the building, and you will be free of pain and suffering.” I knew this was the work of the old forces in other dimensions, and immediately walked from my balcony to the living room. I knew I could not commit suicide, that I still wanted to practice Falun Gong. But how I wished for someone to accompany me in cultivation practice! By then, I had lost contact with my husband’s colleague. I calmed myself enough to continue studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. However, I took to looking at Master’s picture, silently asking for help to locate a Fa study group.

One day, my laundry fell onto the drying rack of my downstairs neighbor. With no other choice, I ventured downstairs and knocked on her door. The person who opened the door was another practitioner who happened to be visiting. I described my condition to this fellow practitioner, who immediately introduced me to a Fa study group at a nearby practitioner’s home. To my surprise, this Fa study group was in the building just opposite to mine. Master had granted my wish and arranged for me to find this Fa study group. I was so happy and gave thanks to Master Li!

From then on, I frequently attended Fa study sessions with fellow practitioners, and my understanding began to improve rapidly. Fellow practitioners encouraged me to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts diligently without fail. In addition to group Fa study, I also studied the Fa on my own, practiced the exercises and sent forth righteous thoughts at home with greater frequency.

One night, I dreamed of a big crocodile and some small fish. I picked up the small fish and moved the big crocodile into a box. When I hit the crocodile with a small stick, it would move. When I left the crocodile alone, it would lie still, pretending to be dead. Fellow practitioners suggested this may be a message sent by Master. I had to continue sending forth righteous thoughts in order to ensure the crocodile’s death. If I stopped, the crocodile would come back to life, because this evil had yet to be eliminated. After this dream, I started sending forth righteous thoughts daily. I also stopped taking medication. As a Dafa practitioner, I resolved to treat my condition as karma elimination arranged by Master rather than a normal disease. I was determined to pass this tribulation successfully.

After stopping my medication, my symptoms started manifesting with increasing severity. Within days, my eyes became sunken, and I lost a lot of weight. Worried at the state of my health, a fellow practitioner advised me to resume taking my medication and decrease the dosage gradually instead of stopping all at once. I firmly told her, “I refuse, on pain of death, to take any more medication!” On hearing my words, this practitioner happily replied, “Your determination and righteous thoughts are very strong. You will certainly overcome this without problems.”

Subsequently, no matter how much pain my body was in, I refused to waver in my belief of Master and the Fa. As time passed, my condition began to improve. My pale complexion became rosy, and I gradually put on more weight. I started sleeping better and soon after, my health returned to normal.

My mother, devoutly religious, saw my miraculous recovery and changed her mind. Instead of opposing, she began to support my cultivation of Falun Gong. My husband and child also gained greater respect for my cultivation practice. Our family was reunited in joy, and my relationship with my husband became harmonious.

With Master’s compassionate aid, I achieved my current health and happiness, as well as a blissful family life. My good fortune is all thanks to Master Li! To date, I have established a Fa study group at my home. I work alongside fellow practitioners to do well the three things and walk along the path to consummation.