The Proper Degree of Interaction Between Fellow Practitioners of the Opposite Sex

(Minghui.org) In traditional Chinese culture, there was a specific code of etiquette regarding the interactions between men and women. Though the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has destroyed many standards of traditional propriety in its rise to power, people today are still highly sensitive to the degrees of proximity in interactions between members of the opposite sex.

At the beginning of this year, I was studying the Falun Dafa teachings with a male practitioner. Neither of us belonged to a Fa study group, and there happened to be a convenient location that both of us could access, so we planned to study together for a while.

The house where we studied had no regular residents, but there were many neighbors around. Soon our coming and going drew attention, and some people looked upon us with contemptuous smiles whenever they saw us.

I eventually spoke up.

“Even though we are meeting during the day, it still looks strange to other people,” I told him. “They might think we’re up to no good. I won’t come again.”

He still asked me to study the Fa together several times after that, but I declined each time. Since the very beginning, I had actually felt a bit uneasy about the two of us studying the Fa just on our own. But because there was nothing between us, I did not outright refuse him back then.

He said the neighbor’s attention might be caused by my attachment. He wanted me to let go of my attachments and continue studying the Fa with him. Although I don’t think wanting to study the Fa was wrong, I felt that the format was not right.

Human beings have their own principles and their code of conduct. If one has close contact with a member of the opposite sex who isn’t their spouse, it will definitely draw attention and criticism. It is not that people are curious or being nosy, it’s that it goes against traditional human morality. As cultivators, we should not just do what we feel like just because we think we’ve successfully eliminated our attachments.

The human code of conduct is designed to temper the human heart in order to preserve human morality, and we cannot violate it under any pretext. Humanity may be corrupted, but it is not completely devoid of morality and the established norms of being human, and we must not be indifferent to these things.

Even if nobody knows, even when none of us have those attachments, I still believe it is not appropriate for us to cross the line of propriety. The reason why this rule is so strict is because crossing that line may lead one to develop attachments and fall even further.

Master taught us that:

“Dafa is the best at every level, and at this human level Dafa disciples should only make it even more complete and perfect, and not bring any losses to it.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)

So there is nothing we can take for granted in our words and deeds.

Perhaps most of us don’t intentionally cross these lines. There may be some situations where what is proper to do is not immediately clear. Perhaps our intentions are good—like the male practitioner mentioned above who just wanted to study the Fa—or at least not being malicious. However, it’s still improper to ignore the standards of society to the point where people misunderstand us.

We are cultivators. After all, Master is watching over us. We will be given hints and reminders to keep us on the right path. The problem is whether we can enlighten to them. If we treat these hints as interference and insist on doing things our own way, that would be terrible.

This incident also made me think of another encounter. Once, I was in the countryside with several fellow practitioners. Something flew into my eye, and I couldn’t see. I called for help to get it out.

A male practitioner ran toward me and said he would help. The attachment to lust was apparent behind his words and actions. I dodged him several times and asked him to go away, but to my surprise, many other practitioners there only laughed.

“What are you worried about? We’re all fellow practitioners,” one of them said.

Finally, a female practitioner came over and helped me out.

“We’re all fellow practitioners—what’s there to worry about?” I’ve heard this too many times, and what does it mean? Does it mean that all of our hearts are incorruptible and absolutely pure? Does it mean that suddenly men and women could do whatever they wanted with each other, without any regard for propriety? A wealth of human attachments and irrationality are hiding behind this one thought.

Fellow practitioners still have a human side in addition to their divine side, and they have attachments to cultivate off.

“We’re all fellow practitioners” doesn’t mean anything. We are all practitioners and mature adults. We cannot view our own ignorance and indecency as innocent. Dafa disciples’ behavior must be upright.

The above is a few of my personal experiences in cultivation, as well as the basics of an ordinary person’s code of conduct. Though I was hesitant to write this out, what I witnessed was not an isolated case. I hope that my experience can serve as a reminder to fellow practitioners in this regard so that they won’t make mistakes.

Please point out anything that is not appropriate.

Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)