Looking Inward and Changing the Way I Think about My Parents

(Minghui.org) I moved back into my parents’ home after I divorced. Unexpectedly, the harmonious place where I spent my childhood now seemed strange to me. 

My mother had since developed a habit of hoarding. She stuffed things into cabinets, as well as the refrigerator. The refrigerator is full all the time. Some of the food went bad, but she either insisted on keeping it or asked me to throw it away. 

My understanding is that wasting food creates karma. Because I cultivate Falun Dafa, I don’t want to accrue karma. So I hated to throw food away. Each day, I checked the vegetables and tried to cook them before they went bad. But we often ended up eating old and unhealthy vegetables. 

I kindly reminded my mother to buy less, so we could eat fresh vegetables. She responded angrily by saying, “Don’t treat me like a child!” She then went out and bought more. With three people (my parents and me) in this household, there are two sizable refrigerators, which are completely stuffed with food. Some of it is a couple of years old. I really didn’t know what to do, and I couldn’t bring this subject up to my mother.

Nevertheless, as a Dafa cultivator, I knew I should look inward and let go of my attachments. But I didn’t see anything wrong with my cherishing the food. I wondered how to respond to my mother? Some of my fellow practitioners told me I didn't have enough compassion. I realized this was my attachment of sentimentality to my parents. 

I love my parents and want them to be healthy, eat better food, and have a good life. I also realized I bought a lot of fruit that often went bad. I thought that I should buy less and look inward, rather than focus on their problems. Focusing on others makes me feel confused and annoyed. I was very upset at myself for not having enough compassion. 

I recently had another thought: If they were not my parents; if I lived with an elderly couple with this type of habit, how should I treat them? Compassion suddenly arose in me. I should treat them well, regardless. My parents have invited me to stay with them and prepare a meal for me daily. 

I should be grateful to them, rather than pick on their problems. I should take the initiative to organize their refrigerator and find time to cook the stored food. I shouldn’t blame the elderly. 

I used to complain when I talked to my mother; therefore, she would not accept my advice. On the other hand, I was looking at others’ problems instead of looking inward and cultivating myself. 

With that thought, the anger, resentment, and helplessness I felt were gone. In addition, my parents have treated me well unconditionally for more than 50 years. As their daughter, the way I behaved wasn't in accordance with Dafa's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. 

Being truly compassionate is having compassion for everyone, including parents, siblings, as well as everyone in the world. In thinking that parents should behave a certain way, I was limiting myself to ordinary people’s notions.