(Minghui.org) My breasts were swollen, and about 10 days after I gave birth to my baby, I developed a fever. Over the next few days, one breast became red and swollen, there was a hard lump inside, and yellow pus dripped from the nipple. It was summer, and the sweat and pus made me extremely itchy, while the pain made my teeth chatter. The high fever also made my bones ache as I lie motionless in bed.
I went to see a doctor when my ordinary notions dominated. The doctor said, “I dare not prescribe medicine for you. You should go to a bigger hospital for better treatment.” When I thought about going to a larger hospital so that I could breastfeed my baby, a friend told me: “The hospital cannot solve the problem, and they will tell you to stop breastfeeding your baby.” Instead of going to a hospital, I tried combing my breasts with a wooden comb and applying a warm towel on them; but nothing worked.
I realized that I could not think about my situation in the same way an ordinary person would. I wondered what I should do. I kept listening to Master Li Hongzhi's lectures, and as I calmed down, I thought: “Mastitis is an illness in this dimension, but is a black substance, karma, in another dimension, and in an even deeper dimension it is a spiritual body. Only by sending righteous thoughts can I improve my xinxing and eliminate it.” So I started sending righteous thoughts. However, I became anxious after a few days when I didn't see any improvement.
Master Li said:
“For a long time now some students just haven't gotten rid of their fundamental attachments! And as things have piled up, at the end they aren't able to overcome them and their tribulations get big. When problems occur, instead of searching for problems in their xinxing, fundamentally improving themselves, or truly letting go of the matter and coming through in an open and dignified manner by another route, they focus on the thing at hand--"Goodness… why is it that I still can't overcome this thing? I've done better today, so it should have improved a little. Tomorrow I'll do even better and it should improve some more." He can never let go of that thing. On the surface it appears that he's letting it go—"Look, I'm doing well now." You're doing well now but you are doing well now for its sake. You aren't doing that for the purpose of doing what a true Dafa disciple should do!” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”)
I realized my mistake, I had sent righteous thoughts for the purpose of curing my illness, so I changed my thinking and started sending righteous thoughts with a pure heart. Meanwhile, I looked inward to find any words and deeds that were not in line with the Fa. I found some of my attachments. For example, because of mastitis, I stayed with my mother-in-law for a few days so she could help take care of me. I treated myself as a patient, didn’t do any household chores, and didn’t think about her because I felt pain whenever I moved. After realizing these notions, I returned home.
After arriving home, my husband put the baby’s things all over the floor, then rushed off to work. Looking at everything in front of me, I thought to myself: “I am a cultivator, I am super-normal and can do anything.” I told my son: “Be well, Mom is going to work.”
I did the washing, cooking, and wiped the floor in spite of my physical pain. I finished all the housework in one hour. My baby was surprisingly quiet, and my breast pain did not increase with the physical effort.
After returning home, I only suffered intermittent pain in my breasts and occasionally had a fever. I breastfed my baby regularly, and my life roughly returned to normal. But I didn’t recover completely, and I wondered why.
Master said,
“Some of our practitioners are struggling with passing the tests of sickness karma. Don’t think that it’s necessarily something major [that causes that]. You might think that you haven’t done anything majorly wrong and that you are very firm in your faith in the Fa. However, you shouldn’t treat the little issues you have like they are nothing. The evil will seize upon any gaps. Many practitioners have even passed away on account of little things; it really was due to something very minor. That’s because cultivation is something serious, and requires having no gaps. If for a long time you haven’t dealt with those things through cultivation, small as they may be, if you haven’t taken them seriously for a prolonged period of time, then it is a big issue. Many people have passed away on account of such things.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”)
I understood the reason now, so I kept sending righteous thoughts.
Three months later, my mother-in-law came to visit my son who was sleeping when she arrived. She woke the baby up, played with him for a while, and then left. I was happy to see her go.
Afterward, I felt a burning pain in my breasts. I immediately looked inward and asked myself: “Why are my breasts sore again? What should I improve?” I discovered that I had resentment toward my mother. I would definitely have been anxious and angry if my mother had treated my baby in the way my mother-in-law had. I resented my mother for being mean and ignoring me when I was a child. She treated my father terribly, too. I still felt strong resentment towards her and realized that this was the root cause of my incomplete healing. I wanted to get rid of it! So I sent righteous thoughts to remove my resentment to my mother.
Afterward, I completely recovered and haven’t had any pain since. That miracle happened after I had mastitis for over three months.
Master said:
“Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I understand that I can pass any test as long as I keep improving my xinxing.