(Minghui.org) A practitioner recently experienced symptoms of illness, which also caused tribulations in her family life. By helping her I gained some understanding of the aspect of the Fa on balancing cultivation and family. We sometimes fail to realize that our selfishness has unknowingly disrupted the balance, and created troubles for ourselves. This even caused us to not do well in offering salvation to sentient beings.

For example, my husband didn’t understand why I continued to practice after the persecution began. He often forcefully stopped me from doing the exercises and threatened to divorce me. I told him, “I’m determined to practice. If you insist on divorcing me, it’s not my choice.” Because of my attachment to sentiment, I wasn’t willing to leave him, and I was afraid of leaving him. I appeared decisive for the sake of Falun Dafa when I had no other choice. 

At that time, I didn’t know how to look within or eliminate my attachment to emotion. All I knew was that Falun Dafa was great, and no one could stop me from practicing. I didn’t know how to cultivate myself solidly, so I resorted to assertiveness and a fighting mentality. My behavior gave people the impression that I had chosen cultivation over my family or anything else, which they could not understand. I had little consideration for others. I wasn’t afraid of confronting anyone who tried to stop me from practicing, and I failed to treasure the cultivation environment in my family. I also never clarified people’s misunderstandings by validating the Fa.

Realizing My Mistakes

When I reflected on myself, I realized that many troubles could have been avoided if I had cultivated better, but at that time, I thought I did well by standing firm and safeguarding Dafa. I spoke with great confidence when I told other practitioners about it. Now I realize that I appeared to be safeguarding Dafa, but I was actually safeguarding myself when I argued with others. The way to touch family members’ hearts is by clarifying the truth with rationality. I should have quietly shouldered my responsibility and not hold grudges. Compassion can melt conflicts like ice. 

My family passively endured even though they didn’t understand my behavior. As a result, conflicts continued to surface. I even thought, “Okay, fight with me. You will regret it if I’m imprisoned someday.” I didn’t realize that this negative thought wasn’t from my true self, and I didn’t deny it. It was taken advantage of by the evil factors. I was indeed thrown into prison when my strong attachments made me slack off on Fa-study, doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. Even though I eventually broke through the tribulation guided by the Fa, I didn’t truly see my misunderstanding of the Fa.

After I was released from prison, I focused on studying the Fa and improving my xinxing. I gradually learned how to look within, and handle conflicts calmly. Under Master’s compassionate enlightenment, I became more and more mature and rational. My relationship with my family kept improving, and I often felt immersed in a harmonious atmosphere. 

I used to feel as if I had done something for Dafa. When my husband complained that my absence affected our child’s school performance, I refused to admit that I did anything wrong. Instead, I insisted that it was due to the CCP’s (Chinese Communist Party's) persecution. My husband was still unhappy about it and continued to nag me.

After gaining my recent understanding of the Fa, I have to say that as a cultivator, my serious xinxing loopholes left excuses for the evil to inflict persecution, which brought tremendous harm to my family. Wasn’t this my fault? I should have admitted that my cultivation gaps brought losses to my family. After I apologized to my husband sincerely, he stopped blaming me.

Master told us,

“So from here on out, when you run into a conflict you shouldn’t think that it’s just by chance. That’s because when a conflict comes along, maybe it just pops up out of nowhere, but it doesn’t happen by chance. It’s to improve your character.” (The Fourth TalkZhuan Falun)

I don’t have any excuse to blame my family or stress my correctness, even though the way they treated me was unreasonable by ordinary people’s standards. However, we are cultivators and we should measure ourselves against the criteria of Falun Dafa. If we use ordinary people’s standards, aren’t we treating ourselves as ordinary people?

After identifying where I fell short in my cultivation, I felt grateful to the people who created conflicts. I realized they gave me opportunities to improve. These conflicts exposed the attachments I needed to eliminate and the need for me to look within. These people, especially my family members, came from their remote cosmos in order to be saved by Falun Dafa. I can’t let them down. Human feelings are so trivial, and the matter of salvation is so grave!

Master told us,

“You are to cultivate while conforming to the way of ordinary society as much as possible, and that is something I have told you to do.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa TeachingsVol. IX)

Many practitioners have been forced to divorce due to the persecution. I suggest they look within about whether they have balanced cultivation and family life well. Family life is pivotal for us to connect with a large group of people. Having a good family relationship will validate Dafa, and treasuring our families is part of our responsibility of saving sentient beings. 

As Falun Dafa disciples who shoulder the responsibility of helping Master rectify the Fa, we offer salvation to sentient beings out of compassion, which is a fundamental principle of the universe. We need to treat it as the top priority and rise beyond our personal grievances because anything else is insignificant compared to salvation.

My husband had an affair a few years ago. I called the woman and told her, “Regardless of our personal feelings I want to tell you about Falun Dafa. No matter what our predestined relationship is, it’s most important for you to learn the truth about Falun Dafa.”

After telling her about Falun Dafa and why I practice, I told her about the significance of quitting the Communist organizations. She said, “My friend’s mom practices Falun Dafa and she helped me quit.” I could tell that she respected Falun Dafa. I was happy for her. Even though I hadn’t completely let go of my grievances against her, I put them aside. She eventually married. My family passed this tribulation with Master’s compassionate care. Many friends admire our harmonious family life.

To sum it up, interference with our family relationships happens when we don't do well in our cultivation. It’s because we haven’t balanced our cultivation and family life. Family is our precious cultivation environment, and a channel for us to save sentient beings. Everything that happens in our family life is cultivation opportunities for us to improve. Maintaining a good family relationship is part of our responsibility to save sentient beings.

Editor's note: Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions, for which the author is solely responsible. Readers should evaluate the article's merits on their own.

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Category: Improving Oneself