Listen More and Harmonize With Others

(Minghui.org) Whenever I share with practitioners or address problems, I’m quite eager to express my views and to reject the other person’s opinions before I clearly hear what he has to say or learn his intention. I also tend to interrupt the other person before he finishes talking.

I’m the same way when sharing about the Fa principles. If a practitioner insists on his point of view, I argue with him.

Master said,

“So what's their state of mind? It's tolerance, an extremely immense tolerance, being able to accept other beings, and being able to truly think from other beings' perspectives. This is something a lot of you haven't achieved yet in your cultivation, but you're gradually catching on and achieving it. When another God proposes an idea, they aren't eager to reject it, and they aren't eager to express their own ideas and they don't believe that their own ideas are good. Instead, they look at what the end result of the other God's proposed approach will be. The paths are different--everyone's path is different--and the truths that beings validate and enlighten to in the Fa are different, too, but the results might very well be the same. That's why they look at the results, and if the result of a God's idea can achieve the goal, if it can truly achieve it, then all of them will go along with it. That's how Gods think. Also, if there's something lacking in it they'll unconditionally and quietly supplement it to make things more complete and perfect. That's how they handle things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. II)

Regular people often say that one can have a good life by learning from the suggestions of others. When practitioners share, they express understandings at their levels and realms, and their words contain elements of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It’s also likely that Master uses the words of other practitioners to enlighten us.

I once told a practitioner that I just wanted to be responsible for the technical aspect of a project, since I did not have time for anything else. She replied, “That won’t work. If a practitioner asks you to help, it means that you can do it, and you should do it.”

She wanted me to shoulder more responsibility and work with others. There are no coincidences in cultivation. Certain things are indeed more difficult for other practitioners, and I can learn things faster compared to them. I thought about it and agreed to do it.

The reason I did not want to take on more responsibility was selfishness. Thus, I changed my attitude and tried to accommodate requests from other practitioners, as long as I had the time and ability. It did not matter whether it was my job or his job, I just worked with others quietly.

I also reminded myself to work more and talk less, and not to talk about what I’ve done. I knew it would not be easy to achieve that, but I tried to work toward that goal. When I thought less about myself, and more about others, it was easier to finish the task, and it felt good.

One day I shared with practitioners, “Practitioners like to hear nice words and about good things. We want others to treat us with compassion, and do not like others being ‘solemn.’ I know I can be ‘solemn,’ and others don’t like that. I didn’t realize that my words were mixed with accusations and complaints. I could not control the tone, the rhythm, and the intensity of my speech. My emphatic tone and my sense of superiority put pressure on others, and I thought I was speaking with ‘solemnity.’ Accusations and complaints are human notions, are forms of Communist Party culture, and are demonic. Accusations, complaints, and all attachments come from human emotion, and are things that practitioners should eliminate. On the other hand, the solemnity of the Fa is a manifestation of compassion. It is kind and contains Buddha nature.”

A practitioner shared what Master said about being calm,

“By contrast when a person is in a calm state, he is good, and that in fact is the true state of a human being. Within calmness there are ups and downs, but it's fully rational, and in calmness there is its own glory, though that glory is based on calmness.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting on Writing Music,” Teaching the Fa at the Discussion on Writing Music and Creating Fine Art)

Therefore, when communicating with others, it is not necessarily more effective if we talk more than others, speak with a higher tone, or carry a more imposing attitude.

Compassion and solemnity are better expressed through a calm and peaceful demeanor. When we speak with a calm state of mind and a peaceful tone, it is easier to explain the causes, consequences, and seriousness of one’s actions not being based on Fa principles. When we kindly offer solutions to problems, others are more willing to accept the suggestions.

I was a very stubborn person in the past. And in the eyes of my classmates and colleagues, I had a lot of personality. I became shrewd and slick after entering the workforce.

Master said,

“But being “smart” like that is wrong in view of the universe.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)

After years of cultivation, the shrewdness gradually lost its sharpness. If we can work with others and get rid of the “sharpness,” then we can harmonize with each other when conflicts arise and elevate the group’s cultivation level. Isn’t that what Master expects of us?