My Wife Developed a Positive Attitude Towards Dafa After I Looked Inward
(Minghui.org) I started sending forth righteous thoughts every night from 9:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., to eliminate all evil interference in our area, following a request from our local coordinators. When I was getting ready to cross my legs and send forth righteous thoughts, my wife stomped into the room and asked, “What are you doing in here?” I replied quietly, “I am sending righteous thoughts.” She shoved me off the bed and said angrily, “Why aren’t you sleeping? I get angry the minute I see you doing that. What is the use of sending righteous thoughts! You always have something to do after you get back from group Fa study. You’d better not go next time, or else I’m telling you, this isn’t over yet...” Seeing how fierce she looked, many people would think there was a lot of resentment between us.
Looking Inward and Cultivating Myself
“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I enlightened to the fact that the problem definitely stemmed from me, and there must have been something I needed to relinquish. I started to look within myself based on the Fa. I initially thought that because of my very strong personality, and always being very competitive and rarely admitting defeat, I always looked down on my wife because she had very little education. I also never really took her words to heart. Did I have an attachment of looking down on her? After thinking it through thoroughly, I should have already eliminated that attachment.
I then thought about how my wife vented her anger at me after quarreling with her mother, and then ignored me for a very long time. Did I have resentment and grudges toward my wife because of this? Thinking it over further, I realized this was also not possible. My wife had sincerely apologized to me and we had let go of any resentment toward each other. Then, what was it that I was still lacking?
I suddenly had a thought that I should find the attachment and eliminate it no matter how deep it was hiding. I realized that my wife always said that I was very selfish, and only thought about myself, never really caring how others felt. The words “ego” appeared in my mind and it was the root of all my attachments. I had grasped my fundamental issue. During my years of cultivation, all I’d ever thought about was how “I want to study the Fa, I want to practice the exercises, I want to send forth righteous thoughts, I want to distribute truth-clarification materials, and I need to clarify the truth and save people.” It was all about me.
I’d never thought about my wife, and this was why we often quarreled. During those times, I had still not enlightened and had gone to extremes believing that I was right to study the Fa, practice the exercises, and clarify the truth. Even if my wife started to yell, “What is the use of saving people? You get me angry all the time and even after saving all the people that exist, you won’t be able to save me,” I would still think that my wife was unreasonable and would want to shy away from her while I did Dafa projects. Now that I think about my conduct, I feel ashamed, as I was not living up to the standard of a Fa-rectification Dafa disciple.
My wife has been with me for 50 years and she should be a saved sentient being, since she is the relative of a Falun Dafa practitioner. As a practitioner myself, not only was my wife not saved, I even pushed her away from Falun Dafa. I was in tears when I thought about this. From the bottom of my heart I said to my wife, “My dear wife, I was wrong. I have let you down. I will change for the better, please believe me. I will relinquish my attachment of ego, and with Master’s enlightenment I will return home with Master.” Saying these words, my heart felt broad and I felt very relieved. I knew that after letting go of my ego, Master had taken all the negative substances away from me.
Changes in My Wife
I was getting ready to go to group Fa study one day and I wasn’t thinking much about how my wife was going to react. After finishing lunch, I started to study the Fa. My wife walked over a while later with a smile on her face and asked softly, “Do you need money?” I told her that I needed money. She took out 200 yuan (Chinese currency) and asked if I could return the banknotes containing printed messages about Falun Gong from last time. She then took out another 200 yuan for me to exchange for truth-clarification currency. She was so compassionate towards me, almost like a different person from the last time when she got extremely aggravated.
I was startled at how my wife’s attitude had changed and did not know what to say. While holding the 400 yuan in my hands, I asked her if she had any money left. My wife said that she had enough, but when she opened her purse she only had 300 yuan left. I told her after I swapped the money for truth-clarification currency, I would give it back to her for her to spend. She smiled and said, “It does not matter who spends it.” What she meant was that whoever spends it serves the same purpose of saving sentient beings.
Words can’t describe how relieved and happy I felt seeing these changes in my wife. This is the result of fundamentally letting go of my “ego.” In other words, as long as we truly and genuinely cultivate, everything will head in a good direction. I’ve truly experienced the wonders of cultivation after witnessing the changes in her. It also strengthened my confidence in Dafa’s capability to make anything happen. Miracles and wonders will occur as long as we genuinely cultivate ourselves on this path of cultivation.