Elevating My Moral Character Through Domestic Violence
(Minghui.org) We are Dafa practitioners. We carry the Fa in our hearts and cultivate ourselves based on the universal characteristic of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. When we face conflicts, the Fa helps us persevere through everything and let go of any attachments. However, there are some practitioners who experienced great difficulty in overcoming such tribulations?
One practitioner, who has practiced Falun Dafa for over 20 years, said she has been suffering domestic violence all these years. And it hasn’t improved so far. She quoted Master Li Hongzhi,
“To be a practitioner you should, for starters, be able to not hit back when attacked, not talk back when insulted.' You have to endure. If you don’t, what are you calling yourself a practitioner for?” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
She just kept cultivating forbearance based on her understanding of this and has continued to do the same for many years.
Another practitioner faced a similar domestic violence situation at the beginning, but her experience was different. When her husband started beating her, she also simply tolerated the situation based on Master Li's Fa,
“… you did not fight back when hit or talk back when cursed at ” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney).
She continued to forbear until her husband didn’t beat her anymore. A few days later, however, her husband started beating her again. She wondered, “Why does he still beat me, even though I have been tolerant?”
One day, when her husband kept slapping her face, she seemed to see that she was slapping him in the same way in a previous life. She suddenly understood,
“… a person’s life is karmic retribution ...” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun).
She had tears streaming down her face and apologized to her husband, “It is my fault. I beat you in the same way in my previous life. Let’s solve it with a benevolent solution.”
Her husband shrugged her off, “A benevolent solution? You? Based on what?”
She told him what Master said,
“All that you have is that goal, that thought, but it’s really the master who takes care of it.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
He then became happy and walked away while humming a song. Afterward, he didn’t beat her for a few days.
Her husband started beating her again, however, and it was even worse. She was confused and tried again to rely on the idea of “a benevolent solution,” but it didn’t work. She cried while holding the book Zhuan Falun, “Where did I go wrong? Why does he beat me again?” She then recalled that Master said,
“Each and every barrier must be broken through,And everywhere does evil lurk.” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)
She realized it was evil controlling her husband. So she sent forth righteous thoughts, and her husband didn’t beat her for a period of time.
Then the beatings started again. She wondered where she went wrong. She looked within and later read Master’s Fa,
“A notion, once formed, will control you for the duration of your life, influencing your thinking and even the full gamut of emotions, such as your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. It is formed postnatally. If this thing persists for some time, it will become part of a person’s thinking, melding into the brain of that person’s true self, at which point it will shape his temperament.” (“Buddha Nature,” Zhuan Falun, Volume II)
She thought she must have a wrong notion that caused her husband to beat her. So she tried to look within to find what that was. When she was preparing a meal one day, a thought suddenly came into her mind, “He is so bad.” She agreed with it because her husband had been beating her for over 10 years. How couldn’t she consider her husband “not bad?”
A few days later, her husband was having a meal while watching TV, but she sat with her back toward him. She suddenly heard her husband say, “It is not a big deal, I can recite it from memory.” He was talking about a traditional Chinese culture program. She was very surprised by what her husband said. He saw that she didn’t believe him and started reciting it. Truly, he could recite it very fluently!
She thought about what Master said,
“A person is like a container, and he is whatever he contains.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
She thought, her husband has traditional culture in his mind; how could he be a bad person. Wouldn’t it be the evil who uses him to test her? Tears ran down her face.
She thought, “My family members are victims. Just because I haven’t realized it, the evil old forces take advantage of this loophole. He is not a bad person; instead, he is being taken advantage of by the evil!”
Since then, she learned to look at her husband’s strengths and tried to understand him. She let go of her bad notion. Her husband became better and didn’t beat her.
A year later, he started beating her again. She thought, “I changed my notion, so why does this happen again? There is no use for me to send forth righteous thoughts for this. Where on earth did I go wrong?”
She then came across the following paragraph during Fa study,
“The old forces saw that according to the Fa-principles of formation, stasis, degeneration, and destruction, the cosmos would head toward its final stage. In order to save themselves, they started to arrange this as early as a very remote age.” (Teachings From a Tour of North America).
She realized that she should clarify the truth to those who arranged this tribulation. She sent forth strong righteous thoughts: “No matter who you are, you're using my husband to persecute me unceasingly. This is a persecution of a Dafa disciple and her family members.
“We have missions to assist Master to save sentient beings. Our family members are to cooperate with us to validate the Fa. They are not meant to cooperate with you to persecute us. Master is merciful to give you one more opportunity to let you position yourself well. You can’t do this anymore. Persecuting Dafa disciples and interfering with Fa-rectification are the worst crimes. You should make the right choice to have a good future.”
Since then, her husband doesn’t beat her anymore.
One day, her husband wanted to joke with her about this. He playfully hit her on her back and then felt pain in his hand. He said, “Wow, my wife can’t be beaten! Even when I just hit her once, my hand has such pain.” He surely doesn’t beat her anymore.
One day her husband exclaimed, “You see how well I treat you. I never beat you.” He had been beating her for 14 years, yet he said he had never beaten her? Tears ran down her face; she realized it was a hint from Master. During all those years, it was not her husband who beat her but the old forces who took advantage of her attachments to use him to test her.
This started out as a story about a practitioner who experienced 14 years of domestic violence. Yet we can see how she cultivated herself based on the Fa and improved her xinxing step by step. Her experience of cultivation is not based on one single rule. Master said,
“Different levels have different Laws, and different dimensions have different Laws, and all of this is the Buddha Law’s manifestation in different dimensions and at different levels.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“As long as you improve your character, you will be able to overcome them—it’s only that you might not want to overcome them. If you want to overcome them you can.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Our Fa-study group now has a better understanding of “improving character.” Master told us that we should improve gradually and continuously till the day we reach consummation.