(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
I’m 21 years old, and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa with my mom since childhood. This is the first time I’ve written my experiences for the Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China. I hope my experience can help other young practitioners.
“Only if one can persevere and continually forge ahead does it amount to true diligence. It's easy to talk about, but putting it into action is tremendously difficult. That is why it's said that always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank.” “As I just said, this kind of cultivation setting, where one cannot see what lies ahead and one is immersed in prolonged loneliness, is the hardest to endure, and it is most apt to lead a person to slack off. This is the greatest test in cultivation.”(“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
I had a deeper understanding when reading Master’s words. I realized that cultivation is to test ourselves whether we can do it or not, whether we get lost in ordinary society, and whether we have firm faith in the Fa in a complicated environment.
Standing Firm Amid Tribulations
My mother said that a child born into a Falun Dafa practitioner’s family came to obtain the Fa and also carried a great mission. When she was pregnant she saw two little Faluns (law wheels) spinning in front of her belly every day. They disappeared after I was born. I could recite the poems in Hong Yin before I could walk.
After the persecution began in 1999, my mom’s workplace pressured her to renounce her belief in Dafa. Due to fear my father and grandparents also pressured her to give up practicing. In 2002, my mom had to leave home to avoid further persecution.
I was still young and I don’t remember much. I only remembered that I suddenly had no mom. To cope with the pressure my father started to drink alcohol every day. My grandparents had to take care of me. They always looked sad and worried. My maternal grandma cried whenever she visited me.
Two years passed before I saw my mom again. I was four years old and I didn’t recognize her and I hid behind my grandmother. My mother held me and said, “I am your mom!” From then on, I saw my mom every weekend. She lived in another city and could only come to see me on weekends. When she came we read the Fa and did the exercises. I also went out with her to distribute truth clarification materials to awaken people.
Because of the persecution, I lost my family. What the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) destroyed was not only my family but also my practice environment. Every week after my mom left, I had to go back to my grandparents’ home, where I could not study the Fa or do the exercises. Without the guidance of the Fa, I felt that I became an everyday person. The only thing I could do was recite “Falun Dafa is good” in my heart and recite some poems I'd memorized from Hong Yin.
When I was in middle school, my mom gave me an e-book and an MP3 player so I could study the Fa and listen to Master’s lectures. I conducted myself according to Dafa’s principles. It was not easy because I did not interact with other practitioners. As a junior middle school student, my understanding of the Fa was very shallow. My path of cultivation was slow and clumsy, and I had to face complicated circumstances every day.
My father and his parents were afraid of the persecution, and they had misunderstandings about Dafa. They did not want me to practice, so I could only study the Fa and do the exercises late at night in my room. My mom said that she always saw me flying in the sky in her dreams when I was diligent. This is how she knew that I persisted in cultivation.
I encountered a lot of interference during those years and got into all kinds of trouble. In my dreams I often saw evil beings in other dimensions chasing me. Without my mother’s help, I didn’t know how to overcome the interference. Sometimes I cultivated diligently, and sometimes I did not do well. I stumbled my way through the challenges.
I felt that I was being tested to see if I could overcome the difficulties. I kept telling myself that no matter what, I would never give up practicing. When I felt lonely and helpless, I remembered what Master said, “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I did not have a stable cultivation environment until I was 17 and went to live with my mom.
Passing a Test of Life and Death During the Epidemic
In the winter of 2019, I improved a lot in my cultivation and my understanding of the Fa deepened.
After the pandemic broke out, I suddenly had coronavirus symptoms one day. At first I thought it was just a cough. I had never taken medicine. When I didn’t feel well, I always studied the Fa and did the exercises, and I soon got better. However, it didn’t work this time.
The symptom seemed severe. I developed a high fever and I was dizzy. I had bouts of loud, racking cough both day and night and I could not sleep. I had a tight and heavy chest and often felt breathless as a result of severe coughing. Every moment was hard to endure.
I thought about taking some medicine, but I didn’t want to behave like an ordinary person. So, I just studied the Fa more and looked inward to find my loopholes.
The experience was almost overwhelming because I never encountered such a big tribulation before. I didn’t understand why the standard for me suddenly became so much higher.
During those days, the epidemic became worse, which made me gradually realize that Master Li’s (Falun Dafa’s founder) Fa-rectification progress was getting closer to the end and that time was pressing.
I looked within and realized that all along, as a young disciple, I thought that I might be one of those who remained after the Fa-rectification period. With this thought, I did not cultivate diligently.
“I am bringing this up to let you know that we have now reached the final stage. I can tell you explicitly that early on I had planned on ending the persecution this year (warm applause), at the twenty-year mark. Although it has turned out that the old forces have changed things a bit, the furnace is running out of coal, and the flame is no longer sufficient. So this affair will soon conclude.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
I realized that Master extended the end time of the Fa-rectification period because many Dafa disciples fell behind, and many people were still waiting to be saved. I felt very touched and very guilty. I realized that the extended time was also for us, who were born in Dafa disciples’ families and have grown into young Dafa disciples to catch up in cultivation. I felt regret for slacking off.
I also realized that Dafa disciples like my mom have gone through so much. Every young disciple has to take on their share of the responsibility of saving people. There are too many young people around us who have not yet understood the truth about Dafa. We young practitioners should tell the truth to our peers and save them. I realized that practitioners of different ages should play different roles. Each practitioner is essential in saving people, so young practitioners should hurry up to keep up with the Fa-rectification progress. We should cultivate ourselves well and hurry up to tell the truth and awaken people because saving sentient beings is our mission.
After realizing this, I began to send righteous thoughts more often to eliminate the evil factors in my body. I focused when I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked for Master’s help. I told myself that I denied the old forces’ arrangement. My faith in the Fa and Master became firmer.
When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I felt as if something was drained from my body. I saw white lights in front of me that kept giving out energy. I understood that Master was helping me and strengthening my faith. I increased my Fa study and exercise time. I also extended the time I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference.
Every day, I further advanced and elevated my understanding of the Fa. I realized that I was a true disciple of the Fa-rectification period and could not hold myself to the standards when I was a child. Gradually I let go of the concept of being sick. I passed this tribulation in a week.
Afterward, I began to go out and tell the truth to people. I told my classmates how to stay safe in the epidemic and told them that, “Falun Dafa is good and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” In the past, I always thought that I was still young and I had lots of chances and plenty of time to cultivate. This tribulation made me understand that the requirements for practitioners were getting higher, and every test we face is crucial.
Once I dreamed that there was a big flood. In the dream, I ran forward desperately, with the water rising behind me. I knew I had a ticket for a boat that was waiting. I saw many people that were already seated on the boat. The boat began to sound the whistle when there was still some distance from the boat, so I had to run faster to get on board and return to my home safely.
When I woke up, I knew Master was hinting that I should hurry up and cultivate more diligently. I knew that Master was watching over me, and that the day to return to our true home was not far away. For a while, I often dreamed of catastrophic scenes. I realized we should walk the remaining path of cultivation well and diligently progress, do the three things well and save more sentient beings.
Overcoming Another Life and Death Tribulation
My major is piano performance. I wanted to study abroad, so I took lessons with a famous pianist who lived in another city. Every week, I had to travel between the two cities. I also spent a lot of time preparing for the international entrance exams and taking foreign language lessons.
It wasn’t easy to travel back and forth between the two cities by train every week, especially during my monthly periods. Once, I thought how convenient it would be if I didn’t have periods. As a result of this incorrect thought, my period stopped the following month. I didn’t think much about it and didn’t realize that something was wrong until I didn’t have my period for more than six months. I developed acne on my face, and I gained a lot of weight. I became nervous and went to the hospital.
The doctor said that I had a complete endocrine disorder because I had polycystic ovary syndrome. He said that the cause of this disease was unknown, and there was no treatment for it. He said even if I took medicine, my period still may not return. As a result, I had to take medication to regulate my endocrine secretion for a long time. The doctor also said that if my period did not resume soon, it may never come back. This meant that I would not be able to get pregnant in the future.
I was afraid. I was so young and I wanted to get married and have children. I brought the medicine home and planned to take it, and then adjust my cultivation status later. I had to take the medicine twice a day, but it was simply too bitter. I looked within and told myself that I should uphold myself to the requirements of the Fa. So I stopped taking the medicine.
Winter vacation started a few days later. I went home and spent more time studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I told my mom that maybe I should temporarily stop my piano and language lessons because of my health issue. My mom asked, “Do you ever think that studying abroad is something inappropriate for our current financial condition?”
My mother and I had several discussions on whether I should go to graduate school abroad. Going abroad would cost a lot of money, so my mom had to do more work to make more money. As a result, she had less time to practice and save people. She also had some health issues recently. Mother and I realized we were not on the right track in cultivation.
Balancing Cultivation and Study
I played piano as a child and worked very hard at it. I also had high expectations. At the university, I ranked first in every professional exam. Over time, I developed a lot of attachments.
I realized that I was a good student, but only a good student in ordinary society. I didn’t meet the standards of the Fa because I had attachments to my professional development, fame, fortune, and competitiveness.
Driven by the desire for achievement, I was busy with school work and practicing piano every day. Music should be pure, and the music of Dafa disciples should be even purer in order to affect people positively. Music does not mean showy skills. Only if I cultivate myself first, will the music I play be pure.
“But, since you still need to remain among ordinary people until your cultivation meets with Consummation, you have to reach a state in which you have such things but have no heart for them, in which you can do such things but without attachment.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
I realized that I should play the piano well, but I should not pursue results. I should give up my attachments and not compete with others in terms of ranking, profession, or a better future in human society. I should walk my path under the guidance of the Fa. Only then can I be a real musician. The prerequisite for everything should be cultivation.
I also thought about my mom. I took my mom’s financial support for granted because she is my mom. I realized that the relationship between my mom and me is not only mother and daughter but also fellow practitioners. My mom’s money was Dafa’s resource, not my personal bank. Her hard-earned money provided a stable living environment for us so we could cultivate. I shouldn’t destroy our stable living and cultivation environment by my excessive consumption. I should not ask for her money unconditionally just because she is my mom.
After realizing this, I told my mother that she should not be overly concerned about my future. I told her that I had Master to watch over me and I should also be independent financially. Time is pressing, and we should walk the final path of cultivation well together. I decided not to go abroad and let nature take its course.
On the other hand, I realized that that the fact that my period stopped also reflected my attachment to marriage.
“But people do create karma, and that karma will manifest in your body in a way that mimics an ailment. If the karma manifests in your nose, you will be stuffed up or have a runny nose, which might lead you to think, “Oh, I’ve got a cold.” You think that you’ve got a cold (Master chuckles), but it’s not a cold. If the karma manifests in your stomach, you will have a stomachache, and think “Oh dear, it must be something I ate.” (Master chuckles) But that’s not it. It was caused by karma that was sent there. Then why was it sent there, of all places? Actually, it didn’t have to be sent there specifically; it could have been sent to some other place. They send it there when you have some sort of attachment, and their aim is to help you work on it.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
I realized I developed an attachment to marriage and relationships in the university environment where casual relationships are the norm. As a practitioner, I should hold myself to the standards of a practitioner, no matter what kind of environment I am in. I realized my health issue happened to help me let go of my attachment to relationships and to my dream marriage. I told myself that if marriage really wasn’t part of my cultivation arrangement, then I wouldn’t pursue it.
I realized that young Dafa disciples must be strict with themselves in their relationships between men and women and not have sex before marriage. Even after getting married, we should not constantly have lustful thoughts and we should hold ourselves to a high standard.
After I faced and examined my attachments and looked inward, my period came back in one week.
Sometimes, the problem that I dared not face was the attachment that I should remove. As I gradually removed these attachments, I was no longer confused about my future. I truly knew how to walk my path correctly. I understood that only by practicing in the Fa could I get out of the human maze.
Mom’s Early Retirement Plan
After I gave up my plan to study abroad, my mom decided to retire next year so she could have more time to clarify the truth to more people.
Just after I finished writing this article, my mom told me her employer was merging with another company. The new company asked for employees to voluntarily retire and offered a good severance package. My mom signed up and will receive about 100,000 yuan in severance pay.
I further realized that Master arranged the best for us. Both my mom and I really feel the urgency of saving sentient beings.
I will walk the final path of cultivation well, remove our attachments, eliminate the interference and save more people. We won’t let down Master’s compassionate salvation!
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