Improving Myself by Looking Inward
(Minghui.org) I am a Dafa disciple and live in the countryside. A cousin of mine recommended Falun Dafa to me and suggested that I read the book Zhuan Falun. After I read it, I knew that Falun Dafa guides people to be good, so I started practicing.
My understanding of the Fa teachings was very shallow at first. As I continued practicing and reading the Fa, I gradually learned how to cultivate. I understood that, as a cultivator, I should follow Master Li’s requirements and get rid of my bad habits. Of course, the process of quitting was painful. But in the end, I completely quit playing mahjong and poker, drinking, and smoking.
Cultivating in the Environment of My Family
My husband is an only son, so we have lived with my in-laws ever since we were married. My sister-in-law, her husband, and their child also live with us.
One winter, my parents-in-law went back to their hometown in Shandong Province, and all the household chores fell to me. We had a mule, and my father-in-law usually fed it. After he left, I had to get up early to feed the mule, then chop wood after breakfast. My husband went up the mountain to collect firewood during the day and was tired when he got home, so I didn’t want him to do any more chores. Looking at my sister-in-law and her husband, I was jealous of them, thinking to myself, “Why do I have to work all day long while they just play on their cell phones? It is so unfair that they wait for me to serve them food every day, and they don't help me do any of the work.”
This thought didn’t conform to the Fa, but I didn't realize it then. At that time I didn’t yet know how to look within to improve myself. Days and months passed as I simmered with unexpressed resentment for my sister-in-law. My right leg started to hurt and swell, and I didn't take it seriously at first. Later, I couldn’t cross my legs to meditate, and I limped from the pain. I then realized that I had to take it seriously.
My brother’s wife is a practitioner. I often studied the Fa and shared my cultivation experiences with her. After I shared with her about my leg pain, she said, “It's not a physical ailment. Instead of calling this 'pain,' you should look within yourself to find what attachments you have not let go of.”
I started looking inward after I got home. I found that I hadn’t let go of my resentment, jealousy, and dislike of my husband’s sister. Master said:
“Why do you encounter these problems? They are all caused by your own karma. We have already eliminated for you many, numerous pieces of it, leaving only that tiny bit which is divided into tribulations at different levels for upgrading your xinxing, tempering your mind, and removing your different attachments.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I had a better understanding of the Fa after reading this, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of my bad thoughts. My leg still hurt, but I didn’t admit it, and I continued to do what I was supposed to do every day. Gradually, my leg stopped hurting, and the swelling disappeared.
As I improved my xinxing, my husband and other family members also changed their attitude toward my cultivation. They stopped interfering with my practicing Falun Dafa, and I was able to study the Fa and do the exercises in an upright manner.
Clarifying the Truth to Save People
I went with my brother's wife to clarify the truth and save people. On our way to the city, we clarified the truth to the predestined people we met and gave them truth-clarification materials. In our village, we first distributed the materials from house to house. Then we visited each household to explain the facts of the persecution to them and convince them to quit the Chinese Communist Party.
A practitioner’s husband once drove five local practitioners to other villages to pass out materials. Along the way, we recited Hong Yin in the car and asked Master to strengthen our righteous thoughts so that no surveillance cameras would see us. A miracle happened just after we arrived in one village: the lights all went out at once. We five went in three groups to deliver the materials. The lights came back on right after we finished. We thanked Master from the bottom of our hearts. We also understood what is meant by:
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin Vol. II, Translation Version A)
My elder brother and his wife bought a house in the city. They live in the city in the winter when there’s not much farm work to do, and they return to the village to farm in the spring. His wife told me that she cooperated with other practitioners in the city to clarify the truth to save people in the mornings and studied the Fa with them in the afternoons. She thought it was very good, and the environment made her very diligent. I was very anxious to hear it, because after the fall harvest in the countryside, there was no more work to do, and I stayed in the house in the winter. I also wanted to clarify the truth and study the Fa with practitioners in the city. Thus, I made a wish: “I want to buy an apartment in the city and to save people there. Master, please make such an arrangement for me.”
There was an apartment for sale in the building next to my elder brother’s. It hadn’t sold for more than a year, as if it had been reserved for me. So I bought it and was grateful for Master’s arrangement. After the fall harvest was completed, we moved into this apartment. I went out every morning to clarify the truth and save people, and I studied the Fa in the afternoon. Every day was fulfilling.
Looking Inside When Faced with Trouble
One day, water was dripping from the ceiling in my bathroom. I wondered what was happening because I knew that nothing was accidental. I knew I had to look inside. When I got home at noon, the bathroom floor was covered with water. I stayed unaffected because I knew that I should look inside.
Master said: “Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating.” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I found the problem after looking inward. I resented my neighbors on the fourth, sixth, and seventh floors. When I bought the apartment, the south wall of the master bedroom was a bit damp. My friend said that it would be fine as long as we put some waterproofing material on the wall. At that time, I didn't think about this from the standpoint of the Fa; I didn't treat it with righteous thoughts. So I used human methods.
I consulted with the property manager and was told that it cost about 10,000 yuan per household to do waterproofing. Then I went to discuss it with my neighbors. When I talked to my neighbors on the sixth and seventh floors, they didn't want to spend that much, and they were rude to me. I was disappointed and resented them.
One day, I read a sharing article by a practitioner who had a similar experience. He had bought an apartment that had a leak. However, he said with strong righteous thoughts, “Since I live in this apartment, the leak will stop, and everything will be fine.” I understood all of a sudden and realized that I should have righteous thoughts and stop thinking about this with human notions. I realized that human notions lead to human troubles. Dafa disciples have power, and wherever Dafa disciples go, they should be able to rectify any incorrect situation. Since I had chosen this apartment, it must have a predestined relationship with me, and everything should be rectified.
After realizing this, I completely let go of the thought of getting waterproofing for the apartment. And after completely removing the grudge against my neighbors and my looking down on them, I apologized to them in my heart. Resentment could no longer control me when I saw the water on the bathroom floor. Then I went to the kitchen to cook. When I went into the bathroom at around 5:00 p.m., the leak had stopped, and there was no more water dripping from the ceiling. Everything returned to normal.
It was a miracle. Looking inward truly is a magic weapon, I once again witnessed the miracle of Dafa.