The Wonders of Looking Inward
(Minghui.org) I’ve read many experience sharing articles about looking inward on the Minghui website in the past. I have also tried to look inward and publicly admit my problems while displaying a “humble” attitude. But only recently did I truly enlighten to the importance and deeper meaning of looking inward.
Unfortunate Events at Work
Many “unfortunate” events occurred after I started to work at an educational institution. Because I was not familiar with the new situation, I made several mistakes in a row that attracted the attention of my director. Then I made several small mistakes in the area that I thought I was best at, and some parents expressed their dissatisfaction. My director's attitude toward me started to change and he started to distrust me.
Then there was a misunderstanding. The director’s wife instructed me to do some work. While I was preparing to do it, a colleague stepped in and took matters into her own hands. When the director’s wife found out, she was furious. When I glanced at my colleague and waited for her to explain the truth, she remained silent. I had no choice but to admit my mistake and promise to do better next time. Deep down in my heart, I felt very wronged and thought about how, if my director reprimanded and criticized me publicly, I would have to apologize in front of everyone.
This series of unfortunate events truly caught me off guard because for many years I’ve excelled in my work and things like this have rarely happened.
To make matters worse, the director deducted a month’s worth of my pay without telling me. My parents were very upset and demanded that I ask for my pay.
Truly Looking Inward and Abiding By Master’s Fa
It was truly like what Master said:
“Why are there suddenly so many problems? Everything goes wrong. People mistreat him, and his boss also does not favor him. Even the situation at home becomes very tense. Why are there so many problems all of a sudden?” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
In times of hardship, it is often hard for people to make the right choice. Instead of looking inward and elevating my xinxing, all I thought about was how I had made it through a den of the evil and so the conflicts at work weren’t as important.
As time passed, conflicts in my family also increased. My mother started to quarrel with my father when he wanted to buy a certain product advertised in a television commercial. My mother was so angry that she came to me and told me that she wanted to file for divorce. That was when I realized how serious the issue had become. Since my mother did not want to be persuaded, I figured I should set an example by looking inward.
Prior to this, I had always emphasized whose fault it was. This time I took the initiative to admit to my mistakes and my xinxing issues. I realized that, because of Party culture, I would interfere in other people’s affairs and pressure them to do things according to my notions.
I told my mother: “I'm at fault in this, too. Although I was not angry like you on the surface, in reality, I was afraid that Dad would be scammed. Everything has its causal reasons. If Dad did fall for a scam, he might have owed someone from a past life and needed to pay for it. Why should we quarrel about it then? But I also feel uncomfortable when you buy a lot of household goods. However, I’ve realized this is all my forcing people to comply with my own standards and this is exactly what the Party culture wants us to do. I will not go against your will anymore when you want to buy things.” As I was speaking, tears rolled down my mother’s cheeks and she was very touched. She said, “After listening to what you’ve said, my heart feels light again.”
A set of doors opened in my heart at that moment. In the past when I had publicly admitted my mistakes, I would be holding myself to a high standard while also compromising my principles for personal benefits. I enlightened to the fact that by looking inward, my life is abiding by the standards of the universe’s Fa.
After enlightening to this, my whole body felt very relieved and wonderful for the whole day.
After two months in turmoil, my environment changed for the better. First, the director was quite surprised when I handed him money that I had found on the ground. And second, while it was raining one day, I lent my umbrella to a very naughty student. This student was infamous for his undisciplined attitude at school. I was not expecting my umbrella to be returned, but it appeared on the director’s desk a couple of days later. I was in awe at the changes Dafa brought about for me, and the director was surprised at the change in the naughty child that I’d had a hand in. As a result, the director was nice to me again and acknowledged the moral qualities of Falun Dafa practitioners.
My family environment changed for the better as well. In the past I would regard my house as a “safe haven” and think that I should be fine as long as I did better than the other people in my house. As a result, many things were done at the level of an ordinary person at home rather than by abiding by the Fa's standards and regarding myself as a cultivator.
Party culture in my house was very prominent. My father, my mother, and I pressure people to do things our way. I often ordered my family to read Minghui articles and would get furious if they didn’t.
My family started to read a Minghui article after I briefly told them about it one day. Though it is not easy to truly and righteously enlighten to matters while abiding by the Fa standards, as long as we overcome it, everything will turn out to be wonderful.