Identifying the Root Causes Hindering My Diligence
(Minghui.org) Looking back on my more than 20 years of cultivation, I really feel a lot of emotion. In doing so, I can finally see some of the root causes of the interference that I have experienced.
I obtained the Fa in my youth, soon after I started working. I was a really lucky person, as I seemed to have flexible thinking and some cleverness. I was always proud of being able to discern things well.
But over the years, I have fallen a lot more than fellow practitioners around me. I have always paid great attention to studying the Fa, but there were only two periods in which I could absorb the Fa and progress quickly. One was before July 20, 1999, and the other was around 2006. During these two periods, I felt that I was very behind in cultivation, so I cultivated silently. I studied the Fa well because I had little ego during those times.
Although I know that the problems of demonic interference from one’s own mind and attachment to self are the root causes of my inability to cultivate diligently, these substances have been lingering in my dimension. I have not really recognized them and cleaned them up, even though I knew that they existed, because it takes time to identify them.
Master published a new scripture recently: “Another Stern Warning.” I felt as if Master said the words in my ears, and I felt both respectful and scared.
Identifying and Removing the Attachment to Big Causes
I have been confused by some questions for a long time. I am the type who wants to be a part of big causes and keep climbing up. I am very active in doing things and have a great desire to save people. This is a good thing in principle, but in practice, I found that I was disturbed by a misunderstanding. I focused on the surface of a given matter, and valued performance and results more than others did.
When things didn’t go as expected, I became anxious. I used all my resources to find a way to change the situation, no matter how small the glimmer of hope. Worrying about success or failure, my mood had ups and downs along with feelings of joy, anger, and sorrow. My way of thinking was very ordinary.
Once my mind fell to the ordinary level and I used ordinary methods to do things (and this state lasted for a long time), my thinking, in fact, was no longer in the Fa. I knew this was the “attachment to doing things.” Because of that attachment, my cultivation path was very bumpy, and I fell far and often.
I used to feel that I had no regrets and had done the things I wanted to do, but now I know that my thinking wasn't based on the Fa, and there was no real effect from doing those things. There is one big reason for this: my thinking was affected by some fundamental attachments. Those factors, the elements that want to be a part of big causes, and the elements yearning for getting things done, are also a reflection of demon nature at a certain level of cultivation.
These factors were very heavy and permeated my dimension, so much so that I couldn't stay alert or be calm, and thus couldn't find my real self. In this case, studying the Fa was like being separated from the Fa. I couldn't grasp the true principles.
I have enlightened to some principles in my cultivation. For some time, I could study the Fa well and be diligent because I really had no self, and thus formed a good foundation for diligence. It was truly powerful being a cultivator at that time. I could do some minor things well due to the power of a cultivator. So looking back, that period of time was extraordinary. My character was very good and validated the Fa powerfully.
When I was attached to doing big things, I was often not in line with the Fa. The attachment of self rose up along with my demon nature. No matter how I tried, I felt things were difficult. Actually, there wasn't an external problem, the difficulty was caused by internal factors.
I now understand that whether you are doing great things or unremarkable ordinary things, you can’t be attached. Follow Master’s arrangements, and don't artificially choose to do important things; just let it be. At this critical moment of saving sentient beings, as long as you are truly in the Fa, you will be able to do everything very well and powerfully.
Looking inward this time, I felt my thinking gradually becoming alert, some turbid substances were cleared away from my body, and I regained my previous clarity. I realize that I am not a cultivator who has to be self-contained, nor do I have to do grand things. I feel this kind of pure and less driven thinking is the character foundation on which supernormal abilities in Dafa cultivation can be produced, and that can save people effectively.
This is my personal understanding. Please correct any deficiencies.