Returning to My Cultivation Path Amid Illusion
(Minghui.org) It has been more than 20 years since I began cultivating Falun Dafa. I’ve come a long way under Master Li’s protection. I’d like to express my gratitude for Master’s saving grace and share some of my cultivation experiences.
Struggling in the Dye Vat of Human Society
Since childhood, I liked to think about things, and had many questions: “How should we live? Is there any truth in the human world?” Because my parents received only a limited education, I thought it would be wonderful if I could find an amazing teacher to answer all my questions.
I excelled in school and was driven by the desire to come out on top. After graduation, I worked at a government agency. I was paid well and promoted, which made other people my age envious. I was often invited out for dinners and entertainment. Floating along in the current of society, I was pursuing fame and self-interest, and thought very highly of myself.
Interpersonal relationships were very complicated at work. They appeared to be smooth on the surface, but behind the scenes people fought fiercely over petty gains and ganged up to stab others in the back. Corruption was prevalent. As someone who still had goodness in her heart, I felt very lonely and depressed. The pursuit of fame and self-interest didn’t make me happy, as I knew it was not what I really wanted.
My health went downhill. During the winter right after I gave birth to my child, I was riding on the back of a motorcycle against a strong wind, on my way to an exam. That ride made me ill, and I was in pain all day. My head felt like ice, and I could no longer be exposed to any wind, year around. In summertime, I didn’t dare to use a fan, air conditioning, or ride a bike.
I also often had a lot of nose bleeds. When I clogged one nostril, it flowed out from the other. When both nostrils were blocked, blood came out from my mouth and couldn’t be stopped. I could easily fill three quarters of a bowl. No medical reason for the bleeding could be found.
I had a sacral fracture of the lumbar spine and a chronic kidney problem. My poor health made me very depressed. In addition, pressure from work and family made me feel hopeless.
I was only in my 20s, yet my health kept deteriorating. Regardless of the treatments I tried, whether Chinese or Western medicine, folk prescriptions or qigong, none worked.
Many people envied me at that time, for it appeared that I had a good life. Deep down, however, I felt bitter and tired. I saw no hope. I felt that life was so fragile, and that nothing in the human world remained constant. There were still many puzzles and questions in my mind, and I couldn’t understand the purpose of human life.
Master Li Gave Me a Wake-Up Call
I felt a bit depressed one day in the Spring of 1996, so I decided to go for a walk in a nearby park, where I saw a group of people doing exercises. I went over to them and they introduced me to Falun Dafa, which I learned was a highly virtuous cultivation practice from the Buddha school. It teaches people to follow kindness, and one can learn and practice for free.
I felt great about the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance, so I tried my best to talk my family into practicing; that’s how a few of my relatives began their cultivation. However, having been subjected to atheism, I still had some doubts. With the excuse that I was busy at work and wanted to strive to achieve things in life, I thought I’d start practicing Dafa after I retired. But occasionally, I’d still join practitioners to study the Fa and do the exercises.
I went to my parents’ home for lunch one day in the fall of 1998. My parents and neighbors told me about a strange incident that had just occurred. A teenage girl came and threw a brick at my parents’ front door, which smashed the glass. The crashing sound alarmed my brother. He ran after the girl, brought her back, and asked her why she threw the brick.
She mentioned my name and said that she was mad at me. She claimed that she and I were alumni. In addition, she could describe precisely what I was wearing that day. This left everybody in awe. Soon her father came over. He apologized and explained that she had mental health issues.
In thinking about the situation, I felt it was important. Though what she said was a bit awkward, the more I thought about it, the more I felt it implied something. I never knew her personally but she knew my name, the school I attended, and the clothes I wore. It seemed that she not only knew my present, but also my past. As to the wrongdoing she did, it wasn’t coincidental. I once had a conflict with a family and did the same to their home. I felt embarrassed every time I thought about it.
Master talked about the principle of paying one’s past debts. He also said:
“Since it’s cultivation, nothing on our path of cultivation is coincidental.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand)
Could it be that Master was using this to have me pay back the debt and have this young girl give me a hint that he knows everything about me? In my family's home, there are portraits of Master, so his fashen (law body) was there. I was thinking, “Master came to look for me, why did I still not want to go with Master?”
“It is a great pity that some students who attended my lectures and have good inborn quality have stopped practicing because they are busy with work. If they were average, everyday people, I would say nothing more and leave them alone. But these people still have some promise. Human morality is declining a thousand miles a day, and everyday people are all drifting along with the current. The farther away from the Dao, the more difficult to return through cultivation. As a matter of fact, cultivation practice is about cultivating one’s heart and mind. The complex environment of the workplace, in particular, provides a good opportunity for you to improve your xinxing. Once retired, won’t you lose the best environment for practicing cultivation?” (“Practicing Cultivation After Retirement” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Master also said:
“Cultivation practice is not child’s play. It is more serious than anything of everyday people—it isn’t something to take for granted. Once you miss the opportunity, when will you be able to get a human body again in the sixfold path of reincarnation? Opportunity knocks but once. Once the illusion that you cannot let go of disappears, you will realize what you have lost.” (“Practicing Cultivation After Retirement” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I enlightened that benevolent Master saw that I was lost in the secular world. Out of concern that I’d lose my opportunity, he used the young girl to give me a wake-up call.
That night when I was doing the second exercise, the Falun Standing Stance, I could feel a large Falun (law wheel) spinning between my arms, turning both clockwise and counter-clockwise. The experience was incredible!
Since then, I have been using Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance as my guiding principles. With that, I found my goal in life. I came to understand there is cause and effect for everything, which made me live more at ease.
All the illnesses that had tormented me for years soon disappeared, which was truly miraculous. I completely got away from both atheism and materialism. I was fully convinced that Master is almighty, and the power of Falun Dafa is truly immense. What’s written in Zhuan Falun is all real!
A Fireball Exploded When My Workplace Began To Persecute Me
The persecution of Falun Dafa began on July 20, 1999. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) used its state-run media to defame Dafa and Master Li as part of an all-encompassing campaign. I became the focus of management at work. Those who used to think very highly of me, such as my managers and colleagues, completely changed. I had to hand over the group I managed to others. I was criticized at various meetings for adhering to my beliefs. Everyone had to show their stance. I suffered endless coercion and suppression.
One afternoon, the CCP committee at work planned a meeting. I knew it was going to be targeting my Falun Dafa practice. I cultivate Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance, so how could I possibly surrender to them? But I felt tremendous pressure facing such an incomprehensible suppression, and being new at cultivation.
I headed home for lunch, and just after I got there, I saw a glowing ball come into the room through an open window. It was as big as a basin. Then right above where I was standing, under the living room light, it made a very tiny and muffled sound. I didn’t feel scared and the lamp bulb wasn’t even broken.
As soon as I went back to work, a young colleague told me excitedly that as he was standing by the windows, he saw a large fireball suddenly emerge between two big utility poles, and it drifted towards the residential area. He soon heard a thunderous boom that was so loud he almost couldn’t bear it. The whole office building shook, as if there was an earthquake. Another coworker came over and said she was awakened from her afternoon nap by the loud boom.
I suddenly understood. The fireball went to my home, yet it didn’t cause any damage and even the lamp bulb was intact. However, one could hear the thunderous sound in the office building from quite a distance. This was truly incredible! I knew it was Master using this fireball to drive away the evil, uphold righteousness, and help strengthen my righteous thoughts so that I could let go of fear.
I felt very composed during the meeting we had that afternoon. A few of them used to be very active in participating in the persecution, but they were quiet then. And I didn’t give in.
Master’s article “The Heavens Become Clear Again” helped me enlighten to Dafa’s sacredness:
“The Heavens shrouded in darkness, the Earth enveloped in gloomThe thunder of the gods explodes, dispersing the dark, dense hazeIt sweeps across rotten demons who sought to ruin the FaDo not say that we are short of mercy”(Hong Yin II, Translation Version A)
A national tour to defame Dafa came to our city, and all staff members were required to attend. The management told me I had to go, so I went. In a few exhibition halls, there were cartoons and lies slandering Master and Dafa on every poster board. Facing this base rogue behavior, I couldn’t stand it and had to speak up for the truth. So I stood in the middle of the hall and spoke out loudly, “All these cartoon pictures are fake. Falun Dafa teaches people to follow Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance, and never allows anyone to commit suicide or kill.”
In that instant, it was as if time paused. Everybody was looking at me. There were plainclothes police officers in the hall. Soon enough, an officer appeared. After looking at me for a moment, he took off without saying a word. Under Master’s protection, I left the exhibition hall with my coworkers in an upright manner and returned to my workplace.
Master Helped Me Get Out of a Perilous Situation
I had a very vivid and clear dream one night in March 2007. A group of evil people broke into my home, searched everywhere, and confiscated my laptop computer. I shared this dream with my mother. She became very worried because a few relatives and I had been blacklisted in our area. She asked me to hide my Dafa materials. But I didn’t get the hint, and didn’t take it to heart.
The next morning, a group of plainclothes Domestic Security officers ambushed our apartment building on the ground floor. They stopped my child who was on his way to school, and took his house key from him. Without presenting a search warrant or legal documentation, they used my son’s key to open my front door, then searched my home. They confiscated computers, printers, and a copy of Zhuan Falun. The team leader was very excited. In order to get some credit, he even invited a deputy director from the municipal police bureau to come see what they found.
They took me by force to the Domestic Security Department at the police bureau. I told them, “It is not illegal for one to have a spiritual belief. These are my personal belongings. They are not weapons. I didn’t do anything harmful.”
By the afternoon they still hadn’t released me. I overheard them say they were planning to throw me into a forced labor camp. My thought was that I must leave there, and I kept asking Master for help.
I was being held in an office on the fourth floor, guarded by two police officers. It was daytime and the place was quite busy. There were also people guarding the entrances. I was wearing a white coat that day, which made me really stand out. But I held a strong thought in my mind, they can’t see me.
I gently opened the office door and managed to squeeze through. Two police officers were chatting without looking at me. I quickly left the office. Right across from this office was the Domestic Security Department. Through the glass, I saw a group of them standing inside and chatting loudly. No one was paying attention to me. I began walking down the stairs, then I passed through the gate without anyone stopping me. In just a few minutes, I quickly and miraculously left the police bureau.
As soon as I stepped out the entrance, I saw a motorcycle so I waved to the driver and asked him to give me a ride. After a while, I realized we couldn’t just keep going like this, otherwise it’d be very easy for them to track me down. So I asked him to stop and said, “I really appreciate your help. I'm very sorry but I don’t have any money with me right now. Because you did this good deed, you will receive good fortune for sure!” Without saying anything, he left.
I then quickly went into a clothes shop by the roadside. I asked the cashier to help me get a cab. I knew it wasn’t safe to go home, nor to my relatives’ homes. I then recalled a practitioner with whom I wasn’t too familiar. Since he wasn’t blacklisted, I thought it would be fairly safe to go to his home, so I headed there.
On that day, his wife was thinking about going out, but she felt something holding her back and decided to stay at home. She had heard that I’d been arrested, so when she saw me she was very excited. She also helped me pay the cab fare.
The police officers would never expect that in broad daylight, a practitioner in police custody could walk out of the police bureau. They were running all over trying to find me. They checked every road, ambushed my home, and even put my family and relatives under surveillance.
Under Master’s benevolent protection, one miracle after another occurred. With the help of both practitioners and non-practitioners, I made it to another city within a few days.
The CCP claimed that Falun Gong practitioners were either elderly people who lacked an education, or those who failed in life and their careers. That year, I was rated as an excellent cadre, I was young, and I had a bright future. Others envied my family, career, education, and income. In fact, Dafa practitioners include all different age groups, professions, trades, and social classes. Many of them are part of the elite in society. Dafa doesn’t differentiate people by their social standing, it only requires that they follow Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance.
For more than 20 years, just like tens of millions of other practitioners in China, I have been subjected to harassment, arrest, detention, and torture, and was forced to leave home simply because of my beliefs. We lost our family, careers, housing, and financial means. Therefore, many people couldn’t understand us. They asked, “Why did you have to practice Falun Dafa and suffer so much hardship over all these years? What did you get for what you sacrificed?”
If it was not for my practicing Falun Dafa, I would be just like ordinary people who are lost in pursuing fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. While I was content with a little bit of achievement, I was already in a perilous situation. Benevolent Master didn’t give up on me, but rather found me and gave me a wake-up call. He purified my mind and body. I became like a lotus flower amid this chaotic world.
I hope my story can be enlightening to others, help them see through the CCP's lies, and be able to snap themselves out of the trends of this secular world. If they can read Zhuan Falun, they’ll surely reap benefits.
I’d like to thank Master for his saving grace once again! I’d also like to express my gratitude to the practitioners who helped me in my most difficult times.