(Minghui.org) My mother started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996, and I was born in July 1999. I was fortunate to be immersed in Dafa since before being born, as my mother always put on Dafa music for me to listen to when she was pregnant.
As a child I helped her distribute truth-clarification materials. During the winter and summer school breaks, I went to the materials production site to help the older practitioners produce materials. Even though I was covered in sweat as I biked to the practitioner’s house, I looked forward to going there.
I found it very hard to focus when studying the Fa, and I often mispronounced or misread words. My mom and other practitioners told me that there are countless Buddhas, Taos, and Gods behind each word in the Fa. In addition, there are numerous gods listening to us when we read the Fa, so we should not take studying the Fa lightly. After that, if I read a wrong word in Zhuan Falun, I would reread that paragraph. Gradually, I made fewer mistakes.
As a young Dafa disciple, I thought I should fulfill my responsibilities as a student to do well academically.
I decided that I wanted to major in fine arts, so after middle school I attended a fine arts affiliated secondary school. After moving to the school, my schoolwork and art techniques got better, but I lost my cultivation environment and was slowly polluted by the big dye vat of ordinary society.
My mother knew that I did not have a good cultivation environment, so she bought me a laptop so I could access Dafa books, Master's lectures, the exercise music, stories of traditional Chinese culture and practitioners’ experience-sharing articles.
I first went to the Minghui website and downloaded some Dafa music. However, the internet frequently went down, and I eventually stopped trying to go on to Minghui.
I later realized that I shouldn't have done that. If a Dafa disciple breaks away from his cultivation environment and is not diligent enough in doing the three things, then he will be lost in ordinary society.
Discerning Between Good and Bad
I later read a Minghui article about the Paris Commune, Neoclassicism, and traditional sketching methodology. I realized that everything I had learned in the fine arts school was warped.
For example, we were required to learn techniques from the Imperial Academy of Arts (The Russian Academy of Arts). Those art forms were all distorted, and the colors they used were dull and dark. When we sketched a landscape, our teacher would have us follow the characteristics of impressionism; we would also draw compositions of fragmented muscles, which were said to highlight socialism’s strength. We were supposed to sketch with emphasis on the irregular and unsystematic.
Many students felt that they had to cheat to get ahead, such as bribing teachers with money and gifts. I never did this, and my grades were always pretty good. However, a student reported me over an unreported absence. Many of my classmates said, “So-and-so reported you,” and they wanted me to report on him as well. I knew that it was a xinxinng test and that I shouldn't be attached. Instead of feeling hatred, I felt sorry for that classmate.
My father, who does not cultivate, was very surprised to see me conduct myself this way, especially since it was in the middle of preparing for the National College Entrance Examination. I felt my cultivation path become wider after this incident, and I ended up being selected to attend a fine arts university.
A Chance To Reflect
Not long after, the CCP virus (coronavirus) pandemic came along. When I returned home in late January, I felt that I had drifted off my cultivation path. I wanted the CCP virus to disappear, only so that I could resume my school life.
Digging deeper, I realized that I did not firmly believe in Master. Because I started to cultivate when I was very young, I always thought I believed in Master. But I eventually realized that I had not taken cultivation seriously. I should conduct myself as a Dafa disciple, but instead I clung on to all sorts of human attachments. I was embarrassed whenever they were exposed.
After I seriously started to study the Fa, I realized all my distorted “modern” thoughts had negatively affected me. I frequently lied and distrusted other people, and I had many thoughts about lust and desire. I knew the only way to eliminate all these attachments was to study the Fa more.
I was encouraged by other practitioners to write this sharing, but I always thought that I did not do well, so I procrastinated. This is also a form of interference, as it made me look at my past and the things I did wrong. Instead, I realized I should look inward and do what's right. Master wants every Dafa disciple to do well. Only the old forces want us to fail.
It was hard for me to openly talk about my shortcomings. The more I hid them, the bigger the problems became. The attachment of fear and my ego are things I should eliminate on my path of cultivation.
