Learning to Cultivate Truthfulness and Eliminating Fear
(Minghui.org) I’m from Taiwan and like most other young practitioners, I began practicing Falun Dafa along with my parents when I was young. However, I did not understand what cultivation was, and I didn’t cherish the cultivation opportunity. I only took cultivation seriously after I went to college.
After I joined the Sound of Hope project last year I encountered many tests which gave me opportunities to improve my xinxing.
The project was in the promotional stage when I joined and one of my tasks was to maintain a social media presence. My schedule was full. I felt the pressure and I wasn’t sure I would do my assignment well.
When I was rushing around the office, I noticed another coordinator was doing things more slowly. I suddenly became irritated and had negative thoughts. I complained to myself that it seemed I was the only one who cared about the project.
I also felt that there was a barrier between a coordinator, Sam, and me. I wanted to tell him about it, but I also wanted to maintain a peaceful relationship. I didn’t know what to do. So I told him I felt I was under a lot of pressure and left it at that.
After a while, I felt the barrier between Sam and myself might grow if I didn’t tell him my real thoughts. So I summoned up my courage and spoke. However, during our chat, I felt awkward and became concerned that he might have negative thoughts about me.
Afterwards, I didn’t feel better. Instead, I felt guilty and scared. I was worried that I hurt Sam. I was also concerned that he would develop negative thoughts about me. After I got home, I realized I had no compassion when I spoke to him. Instead, I just released my tension. I did not look within and didn’t eliminate my attachment.
I apologized the next day. However, I still didn’t find my attachments. I just felt a little bit embarrassed.
One day, Sam discussed something with me. Suddenly, he asked if I ever quarrelled with my best friends. I said I didn’t think so. He then talked to me about Truthfulness. I felt my head was whacked with a stick. It never occurred to me that I wasn’t a truthful person. I realized I seldom verbalized my real thoughts, and I hadn’t been honest or sincere when I spoke to Sam.
“How could you cultivate without these hardships? If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interest or interference from the human mind, and if all you do is just sit there, how can your xinxing improve? That wouldn’t do” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I missed the opportunity to improve because I wanted to maintain harmony on the surface. I felt like I was hiding behind a mask.
I remembered a game I played when I worked on another project several years ago. In the game, everyone wrote what they wanted to say to other team members. One practitioner wrote, “You’re amazing. You just need to be more truthful.” I didn’t understand what he meant until Sam said the same thing to me.
After I identified this attachment, I realized why I cared about how other people thought of me. I found I stopped worrying when I could bravely face my real thoughts. I appreciate fellow practitioners’ sharing with me.
Determination, Belief, and Fear
It was time for me to write the graduation thesis for my Master’s degree when I joined the project. I had been avoiding doing this and I used the project as an excuse for not working on it. I didn’t realize I was escaping from my responsibilities at school until a fellow practitioner reminded me of it.
I started to think about my thesis seriously. But this process wasn’t easy. In choosing the thesis topic, I hoped that the research for it could help with Dafa projects. However, the more I thought about it, the more clueless I felt.
When I shared my feeling of powerlessness and high pressure with fellow practitioners, one practitioner said he didn’t think I had the wish to save people. I looked inward. I found I was not determined to validate the Fa through my thesis. I wasn’t sure if I should pick an easy topic and finish the thesis quickly or select a topic that could validate the Fa.
One day while I overheard another practitioner talk about the power of Dafa, I suddenly burst into tears because I hadn’t felt Dafa’s power for a long time. I even had many negative thoughts when I encountered difficulties at school. I asked myself why I needed to finish my degree and I even thought about giving up on school.
“When it comes to cultivation levels and progress towards Consummation, there’s no difference between you and the students in China at all. It was arranged for you to obtain the Fa here, and it was arranged for you to cultivate here. Many disciples are highly educated, and the vast majority of the disciples outside China have advanced degrees. Why is this the case? It’s precisely to have you put to full use at this crucial time what you’ve learned among everyday people and are good at, to have you validate the Fa using the everyday people’s skills Dafa created for people in this world. In practice you’ve done this very well. Judging from the articles on the Clearwisdom Website and Dafa disciples’ articles on the Xinsheng3 Website and in other media, I’d say that some of the articles you’ve written are masterpieces—they are well-reasoned, their ideas are backed up, they demonstrate clear thinking, and their logic is strong. They have truly had the effect of shocking and intimidating the evil, and their caliber is high.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference,” Guiding the Voyage)
After I read this teaching, I realized I had been validating the Fa with my skills. I knew I needed to become a professional so I could validate the Fa better.
I then looked inward and asked myself when I didn’t feel the power of the Fa. I recalled when I formed the Falun Dafa Association at the university. At that time, I didn’t know how to organize it. But I made it through with my determination and a strong will.
Suddenly the word “Fearless” came to mind. I realized I had a strong fear of writing the thesis. I had no confidence, and I did not believe that Master arranged my path.
I faced my fear, strengthened my belief in Master, and eliminated my fear. I let go of my fear when I discussed my finished part with my teacher. Surprisingly, the discussion was smooth, and my teacher said my finished sections were well done and logical.
I felt I had walked a long journey in the project, after all these tests and improvements. Actually I only spent four months on the Sound of Hope project. The requirements for us are becoming higher and higher. I feel we can’t pass the test by just eliminating one attachment. We need to dig out the attachment’s root and remove all the attachments and their causes.
I want to conclude my sharing by quoting Master’s Fa. I hope we can all cultivate diligently.
“No matter how much I say, you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood. So as a cultivator, what is truly remarkable is when you can be steadfast and have righteous thoughts so firm that nothing can sway you.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. VII)
Thank you, Master!
(Presented at the 2020 Sound of Hope Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)