Looking Within When Experiencing Sickness Karma
(Minghui.org) I was in poor health for as long as I could remember. I had rheumatoid arthritis, fatty liver, stomach problems, and was always coughing. I constantly felt cold deep inside my bones and had to wear socks in bed during the hot summer months. I developed skin diseases and took a lot of medication up until 1995.
In order to improve my health, I tried to learn acupuncture and practiced three types of qigong, but none of them helped. The results of my blood tests showed that I was at high risk of having a stroke. I wasn't even 40 years old. I felt hopeless.
A New Life
A neighbor had two tickets to a Qigong video lecture in November 1995 and asked if I would like to go. I thanked her but declined the offer. I said, “I've tried several forms of qigong already, but none of them work for me.”
“But I heard this one is really good,” the neighbor continued. “It's called Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa). It's a Buddha School Qigong. It works miracles on illnesses.” She suggested that I go and see what it was all about; then I could decide whether or not to practice it.
She was really excited so I agreed to go, if only not to disappoint her.
On my way home from watching the first lecture video, I felt that I had much more strength in my legs than before. After finishing all of the nine lectures, my whole perspective on life had changed.
I started to understand why people get sick and how one can obtain good health. I learned that the key to cultivation is to cultivate one's character.
And just like that, a new door had opened in my life.
I went to the local practice site every morning to do the exercises with other practitioners. In the evening, we read the Falun Gong books and shared our experiences. In less than three months, all my illnesses disappeared!
Considering Others First
My workplace provided a pickup service in the morning to take me to work, but I thought that it would save some money for the workplace if I found my own way there. So I told the driver not to pick me up.
Some housing units were allocated to employees in 1998. I was assigned a very good unit. After I moved some furniture in, I heard that a retired director also wanted the unit but his request had been denied by the leaders. I felt sorry for him, thinking that he had worked hard for so many years and deserved to have the unit. So I spoke to the leaders and moved out, allowing the retired director to move in. I was happy for him.
After the persecution started, my salary was dramatically reduced. In order to save money so that I could still make truth clarification materials, I cut down my living expenses to the bare minimum. I started to buy the cheapest vegetables at the market, and didn't buy new clothes. I only bought two pairs of shoes that were urgently needed - one for summer and one for winter.
I often just ate a few cabbage leaves mixed with sauce. It wasn't appetizing, but I remembered what Master said,
“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.” (“Tempering the Will”, Hong Yin)
Since I began practicing Falun Gong my character has been uplifted. I have learned to be less selfish and consider others first.
Looking Within During Sickness Karma
One morning in August 2015, I felt very dizzy when I woke up. I could barely maintain my balance when walking. The left half of my head ached badly, and I felt nauseous. I listened to a recording of Master's teachings. After listening to three lectures, I worked on some Dafa projects.
There was still no improvement the next day. My head hurt so badly that even swallowing was unbearably painful. I immediately thought: “This is not a sickness. It is the old forces persecuting me.”
I continued to listen to Master's lectures and increased the number of times I sent forth righteous thoughts, but still there was no improvement. I thought that maybe I should sleep a few more hours the next morning since I hadn't slept much the last few days.
But there was still no improvement. My head felt like it was being split open when I tried to swallow. I sat on my bed, and heard a voice say: “Look inward! Look inward!” I knew this was Master hinting to me.
I calmed down and started to look within: “What human attachments do I hold and what have I not done well as a practitioner?”
I found a lot of problems. The three main ones were:
1. Seeking comfort - I was supposed to catch up on the exercises I missed that day after sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight. However, I would often lie on the bed thinking that I'd rest for a few minutes first, but when I opened my eyes again it was already morning. That meant not only I had not caught up with my exercises from the day before, but I also missed my morning exercises at 3:30a.m.
Sometimes I would wake up at 5:50 a.m. Realizing that I still had five minutes before the global time for sending forth righteous thoughts. I'd close me eyes again and wake up much later, having missed the time.
2. Not respecting Master and Dafa - I was not being respectful to Master or Dafa when studying the Fa, as most of the time I listened to Master's lectures while doing other things. When I read Dafa books I would sometimes feel tired and lie down in bed to continue reading.
3. Missing Fa Study - Sometimes I didn't study the Fa for two days in a row when I was busy working on Dafa projects. I treated doing projects as cultivation and ignored Fa study.
When I realized these things I told myself: “The old forces have found gaps in my cultivation and have used them to persecute me. I can't allow that. Even if I have not done well I have Master. I will only follow my Master!”
I started to read Zhuan Falun, and almost immediately my headache eased up. I continued to read and felt sleepy, but I didn't lie down and kept reading. I read three lectures that day.
When thinking about the pain I was experiencing, I thought that if it is a black substance from my karma, then it needs to leave my body as soon as possible.
If it's a result of causing harm to others in my previous lives, then I need to apologize for what I did and suggest that we reach a “benevolent solution.” I would say to the karma, “Because I am practicing Falun Dafa, you can recite 'Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!' together with me and you will be saved. Please treasure this opportunity and leave me alone now. Go and wait somewhere else.”
However, if the old forces are inflicting the pain then I will not acknowledge any of it, including even their existence. I added this thought to my righteous thoughts: “The old forces have nothing to do with me. They are not worthy of persecuting me!”
All of my symptoms were gone three days later. I believe that I did the right thing in looking inward, and studying the Fa. Thank you, Master for giving me the hint!
More Thoughts on Sickness Karma
After going through the process of eliminating sickness karma, I thought more about why it might have happened.
I did not understand high-level Fa thoroughly. When facing problems, I often used everyday people's notions instead of approaching them from the perspective of the Fa.
“...you must study the high-level Fa thoroughly and know how to cultivate.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
I only recited Zhuan Falun from memory twice before the persecution, and didn't continue to do so after the persecution started. I did not cultivate as diligently as I could have. If I had understood the Fa more, I would think more from the Fa when facing tribulations, and would not have taken the false impressions of everyday people as the truth.
I knew that we should completely deny the old force's arrangements, yet quite often I acknowledged them when experiencing tribulations.
The old forces do not exist for Dafa practitioners. We have no relationship with them. We are disciples of the Creator. We only listen to our Master. With such righteous thoughts, the old forces would not dare to persecute us.
When I'm busy with Dafa projects, sometimes I lagged behind in Fa study, exercises, and sending righteous thoughts. Old force elements thrived in my environment and were able to persecute me so easily with symptoms of sickness karma.
We are approaching the end of Fa rectification. Our time is limited. I will utilize this precious time that we have, improve my level in cultivation, maintain righteous thoughts, and do my best in my duties as a Falun Dafa practitioner.