Grateful for Practitioners' Long-Term Support
(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa) in April 1998 when I worked in Tianjin. Back then I was of poor health but wasn't interested in learning any of the various exercises people were doing in the park.
However, I got up early one morning and went to the park and came across the Falun Gong practice site. I saw people doing the exercises, and there were pictures of Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, taken in different places around the world. Seeing Master’s benevolent smile, I felt very secure. I was also impressed by Falun Dafa's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Right away, I thought: I want to practice Falun Gong.
I returned to the practice site a few days later, where a practitioner showed me the exercise movements. After that, I checked to see if there were any books available. She told me there were six books available for sale. She explained that since their intent was not to sell books, she didn’t mention that to me at the beginning.
I asked her to help me get all the books, and I purchased, Zhuan Falun, Lecture in Sydney, Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa, Zhuan Falun Fajie - The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained, Zhuan Falun Volume II, and Essentials for Further Advancement.
I read Essentials for Further Advancement, but found it difficult to read Zhuan Falun, as I kept feeling sleepy whenever I tried to read it. When this happened, I’d stop for a while and then continue with my reading. Later, I began to copy and memorize Zhuan Falun.
I was very diligent in my cultivation. Before I went to bed, I’d go over what I memorized and recited it one more time. And first thing every morning, I’d recall the part of the Fa that I'd memorized the day before. I felt that the Fa was so important. I also clarified the truth about Dafa to whomever I met.
I was immersed in the Fa every day, and I recovered from all my illnesses. Dafa has given me a new life, and has transformed me physically and mentally.
Receiving Master's Lectures in the Forced Labor Camp
After the persecution began, I was illegally arrested in March 2008, and sent to a forced labor camp for 444 days. I was closely monitored when talking, eating and even when using the bathroom. I also had to face the hostile guards, who ordered inmates to curse at me and beat me.
The only way to cope in this brutal environment was to have the Fa.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
It was difficult to get Master’s lectures in the labor camp, and I really have to thank those practitioners with strong righteous thoughts who were able to get them in, and then came up with ingenious ways to get them handwritten and delivered to every cell where there were practitioners.
However, practitioner Ms. Li felt that there was one word that didn’t seem right on one of the handwritten copies she received. So she suggested that we stop reciting it until it was sorted out, but some other practitioners thought that we should continue because it was only one word. The disagreement escalated among practitioners.
Practitioner Ms. He, in her 50s, had been incarcerated three times before. She had never cried during those times, but did so now. She regretted not making diligent efforts in studying the Fa before, and said that she would seize the time to study and memorize the Fa as soon as she got out of the labor camp. Her words and actions made us think. We stopped arguing with one another, became calm, and resumed our Fa-study with no further disagreements.
Not only was it difficult to receive Master's new lectures, but it was also a challenge to keep them hidden from the guards, as they often searched our cells. Under Master’s benevolent protection, each and every time the guards searched us, they didn't find any Dafa writings.
The Need to Cultivate Diligently
I developed the attachment of fear as a result of being persecuted many times, and I slacked off in my cultivation.
Only after seeing my mother pass away in 2016 did I realize that I had big issues with my cultivation, and I started to have health problems.
I calmed my mind, and came to realize that I had to cultivate diligently if I wanted to make a breakthrough. I had to study the Fa well and rectify myself in accordance with the Fa, just like when I first began to cultivate.
Through looking inward, I found my attachments to jealously, self-interest, showing-off, lust, complaint, and loss and gain. I decided it was time to eliminate them.
Ridding Myself of the Attachment to Jealousy
It took me almost two years to realize that I had an attachment to jealousy.
Once, three of us got together to make truth-clarification phone calls. Ms. Lin had started over a year before us and was very experienced. Her cultivation state was solid, and she managed to help a lot of people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) every day.
Both Ms. Hao and I were relatively new practitioners. Ms. Hao learned very quickly and ended up overtaking Ms. Lin in terms of how many people she helped to quit the CCP, whereas I wasn't able to help many people quit.
I felt down and jealous, and ended up venting my anger at Ms. Hao.
She didn’t take it to heart, and kept smiling and encouraging me, saying, “Take it easy. It’s like that at the beginning. But it will get better as you go on.”
I listened to what she said, but I was still upset deep down inside. After I came home and studied the Fa at night I managed to calm down, but when I saw her again the next day my competitive mentality flared up again.
During the following months I kept looking inward while studying the Fa, thinking about the different situations I ran into while making the phone calls. People would swear at me, laugh, and abruptly cut me off.
By memorizing and reciting the Fa, I came to understand that I should not be moved and I should let go of my ego.
When I managed to make a breakthrough, I kept my heart unmoved when people swore at me and continued to clarify the facts. In the end, most of them agreed to quit the CCP.
I managed to maintain a good cultivation state for a while. However, jealousy and the competitive mentality popped up again to lure me into watching how many people other practitioners had helped quit the CCP, in order to compete with them.
I always looked outward when I ran into things. How could that be a practitioner’s mindset? I felt that I had let other practitioners down. I was also grateful for practitioners’ long-term support and tolerance towards me, helping me to come this far in my cultivation.
When I came to understand this, the next time when I saw my fellow practitioners, all my bad thoughts and feelings disappeared.