I Overcame An Insurmountable Wall
(Minghui.org) My cultivation was long blocked by a solid wall built of jealousy, but it came tumbling down in just one day.
After years of hard work, my younger sister-in-law’s family settled down rather comfortably in a big city. She bought her own home and her daughter got married and had children. They were much better off than us. When I started working for her last August, she became the subject of my resentment and envy.
Highly capable but money-loving and insincere, her behavior and mannerisms did not sit well with me. I looked down on her and always complained about her to my husband even though I knew I shouldn’t. I also talked about her to other practitioners. I wanted to get a job elsewhere or start a small business myself to earn more money.
One day I was complaining about my sister-in-law to my husband. He was rather annoyed, “Why is it that you can be tolerant of everyone except her?” I was stumped, “That’s quite true. Why is that?”
Although I sometimes realized a lot of my reactions towards her were caused by my jealousy, I was unable to rectify myself. My jealousy was so strong that it overshadowed my cultivated side and weakened my ability to reason in accordance with the Fa. In other words, I was reacting to my situation as if I were not a Dafa practitioner.
A Change of Heart
Two very minor incidents took place yesterday. One had to do with another employee who is a student. He normally starts an hour later than everyone else which means we have to cover for him because he is absent at a busy time. I always had an issue with that, even though I seldom expressed it. But when he arrived late again yesterday, I did not think anything of it.
The other incident had to do with the heat. It was very hot yesterday but my sister-in-law would not turn the air conditioner on. I was hot and sweaty all day because I could hardly feel the breeze of the electric fan from my work station, but I didn’t complain.
I took a shower right after I got home from work. My husband asked if it was because his sister did not turn the air conditioner on. I said, “Yes,” nonchalantly and left it at that. I imagine that I would have behaved very differently if it wasn’t for my recent change of heart.
What brought about this change? The day my husband reminded me about my lack of tolerance towards my sister-in-law made me realize I was still prone to jealousy after many years of cultivation. Master has sternly warned us,
“The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether or not you can complete cultivation. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile. There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Righteous Fruition—absolutely not.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
“One’s Buddha-nature is Shan, and it manifests itself as compassion, thinking of others before acting, and the ability to endure suffering. One’s demon-nature is viciousness, and it manifests as killing, stealing, selfishness, wicked thoughts, sowing discord, stirring up trouble by spreading rumors, jealousy, wickedness, anger, laziness, incest and so on... If a cultivator does not get rid of his demon-nature through cultivation, his gong will be badly disordered and he will attain nothing or follow a demonic path.” (“Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Jealousy was the wall that blocked my path of cultivation; I had to overcome it. Thankfully, my desire to improve pleased Master who subsequently removed that bad substance associated with jealousy for me.
I had a dream where many people, including children, were trying to grab me but I flew into the sky and no one could touch me.
Since I have rid myself of jealousy, I stopped acting so egotistically and let go of my resentment and my desire for personal gain.
As I look back now, whatever happened before is not even worth mentioning. The reward of letting go of jealousy is inner peace. I no longer have that unsavory view of my sister-in-law. As a matter of fact, she and her family have always thought highly of Falun Dafa.
I have stopped complaining about the pay. Instead of taking off immediately after work, I stay behind to help my sister-in-law pack up.
Come to think of it, the fact that I was able to correct my mistake with Master’s help is a testament to the benefits of having persevered with Fa study for many years, memorizing of the Fa and maintaining righteous thoughts. I must admit I was not diligent all the time, but at critical moments I was able to see my way out of tough situations with the guidance of the Fa.
Thank you, Master, for teaching me this Great Way of the universe, pulling me through what appeared to be insurmountable difficulties and allowing me to continue to better myself under your guidance.