Discarding the Notion of Illness
(Minghui.org) For Falun Dafa practitioners who are experiencing tribulations, it’s important to have support from fellow practitioners’ righteous thoughts. I am fortunate that practitioners often help to remind me to improve in cultivation whenever I have difficulties. They’ve helped me strengthen my righteous thoughts and pass tests.
Letting Go of the Fear of Illness
I was held in a forced labor camp in 2009. Due to the persecution, I began to show symptoms of an illness. I was afraid that the sickness karma would have a negative effect on Dafa and that I would die and make my family sad. I was worried about my son, since my husband was also detained in a forced labor camp.
I wasn’t allowed to do the Falun Dafa exercises in the labor camp and could only send forth righteous thoughts during break times and read a bit of the Fa teachings at night. I didn’t feel confident about passing the test. I thought about asking a guard to see the labor camp doctor.
Other practitioners detained in the camp encouraged me to eliminate my attachments and believe in Dafa. With their encouragement, I was able to persevere for a time. However, symptoms showed up later, and I became nervous again. Only after sharing with other practitioners could I calm down. This went on for several months.
During that time, I had chest pain, itchiness, shortness of breath, and tremors. My chest felt like it was on fire, and I went from being too cold to too hot.
Many nights, I could only sleep a few hours. The more pressure I felt, the worse my symptoms were. I started having nightmares. I dreamed that I was criticized on a stage while tied up and constrained with thick metal pipes.
As October 1 neared, a practitioner told me, “Get better quick. We’ve notified all the practitioners here and those from your hometown in the other teams to send forth righteous thoughts to help you.” Their compassion deeply moved me.
While I was reciting the Fa one day, I suddenly realized that I would start worrying as soon as I had any symptoms. I asked myself, “Why did I worry? Was it due to my ordinary notion? Everyday people believe that certain illnesses display certain symptoms. No matter how scientific that notion may be, can it surpass Dafa? Dafa transcends all ordinary science.”
When I later had symptoms that worried me, I recited the Fa to eliminate my fear. The symptoms lessened each time I eliminated the attachment.
“Tribulations don’t just happen by chance. They are definitely meant to get rid of certain attachments of yours so that you may improve yourself.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada)
Practitioners also reminded me to not be attached to anyone while I was detained. I then stopped worrying about my son and rejected any negative thinking. The matter that had overwhelmed me gradually disappeared.
Improving Xinxing and Eliminating Tribulations
After I was released from the labor camp, I still had an attachment to fear and couldn’t cultivate diligently. That led to several tribulations.
When I had symptoms of sickness karma in November 2012, I didn’t treat myself as a practitioner and lacked righteous thoughts. I went to the hospital for treatment.
I coughed up blood in the spring of 2013. This time, I asked fellow practitioners for help. Through their sharing and support, I was able to have righteous thoughts.
I did the exercises three times a day and slept only two hours each day. The symptoms went away within two days.
When I experienced the third illness tribulation in 2016, I studied the Fa more and did the exercises more. However, I wasn’t able to pass the test as quickly as before. I didn’t know what to do.
A practitioner then shared her experiences of how she passed the test of illness karma. Her sharing helped me become more confident. I understood that I needed to let go of fear and to go out to talk to people in person about Falun Dafa and the persecution.
By looking within, eliminating my attachments, diligently reading the Fa, and continuing to do the three things, I was able to overcome the tribulations.
My xinxing improved as I eliminated my attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. Through the process, I strengthened my belief in Master and Dafa.
Eliminating the Fear and Notion of Illness
I realized the process of passing a sickness karma test was also the process of discarding the notion of illness. The nervousness I always felt before was actually fear—I was afraid of being ill.
Once, after several days of intensive Fa-study, doing the exercises, and sending righteous thoughts, I didn’t feel much relief from the symptoms of sickness karma. I began to feel afraid and anxious.
A practitioner reminded me, “Don’t worry, it’s just karma.” I decided to let go of the fear, continued to diligently cultivate, and ignored the symptoms. Gradually, the symptoms disappeared.
Through this experience, I came to understand that the symptoms were for me to eliminate the fear of illness.
I started memorizing Zhuan Falun and felt another layer of fear was removed:
“The reason for your discomfort is principally that you always fear catching some illness. In fact, the things that are developed in your body are quite powerful, and they are all gong, supernormal abilities, and many living beings. If they move around, your body will feel itchy, painful, uncomfortable, and so on. The nerve endings are particularly sensitive, and there will be all kinds of symptoms. As long as your body is not completely transformed by high-energy matter, you will feel this way. It should be seen as a good thing anyway.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Master already explained about “illness” to us a long time ago. However, ordinary notions and thought karma would interfere with my thinking.
I had been paying attention to eliminating the fear of getting ill. I realized that when I was afraid, I was asking for the illness, and the more fear I had, the worse the situation it created.
After experiencing several tribulations, I realized that I shouldn’t be afraid when I encounter these types of situations. I needed to look within to find the cause and to improve myself instead.
Further Eliminating Attachments
A practitioner once recited Master’s Fa:
“Many of our people have passed away for these reasons. But isn’t that a shame? Yet there is nothing that can be done, as they weren’t diligent. Some of them were diligent, but they just had this one issue and couldn’t quite let go of their concern. So it’s very complicated. They might have been solid in all other regards, and just not up to par on this one matter. As you know, in spiritual practice one is supposed to become ‘free of omissions.’” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Team Yellow Translation)
I came to understand that practitioners should completely discard the notion of an illness. A cultivator on the path to divinity has no illness. Master does not acknowledge it and has already purified practitioners’ bodies, removing their names from hell. All we need to do is cultivate our xinxing and save sentient beings.
Looking back, I realized how strong my notion of illness was. I now understand that a true practitioner has no illness.
I feel ashamed I was so slow to understand and improve. I still have attachments to fame, self-interest, sentimentality, comfort, and selfishness. These attachments hinder me from cultivating diligently. I also realized that my thought karma was interfering with my reading the Fa and doing the exercises with a peaceful mind. I needed to eliminate my attachments and thought karma.
I firmly believe that I will be able to eliminate my attachments, the thought karma, and the notion of illness by assimilating to the Fa.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation! I would also like to thank the practitioners who have helped and encouraged me to overcome tribulations. I hope that my experience can help those who have not been able to overcome symptoms of an illness.