“Steeling My Will” to Overcome Sickness Karma
(Minghui.org) As I was practicing the exercises one morning last March, the left side of my lower back, buttocks, and the back of my left thigh started to hurt.
At that time, I didn't pay attention to it and did the three things I was supposed to do as a practitioner. A few days later, the pain intensified, and I couldn't sit down, which seriously interfered with my daily routine.
By May, the situation had not improved.
Believing in Master and Dafa: I’m Not Sick!
Master Li Hongzhi said: “We emphasize one point: If you cannot relinquish the attachment or concern for illness, we cannot do anything and will be unable to help you.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
I asked myself: Are you a real cultivator? I replied: I am a real cultivator! I asked myself again: Do you really believe in Master? I replied: I really believe in Master; I believe in Master 100%!
There seemed to be a voice telling me: Body pain is not a disease. I asked: What is it? It's karma; it's an illusion.
I shouted out loudly: "I am not sick, I am not sick, it is an illusion, it is karma. I have Master who is in charge of me! Everything is up to Master; external factors are not worthy to interfere with me; I don't acknowledge you! I want to disintegrate you!"
Repaying My Karmic Debts
My children are not by my side, as I live alone. Since 2005, I worked with other practitioners to make truth clarification materials.
In 2010, I started making brochures and DVDs at home to avoid unnecessary trouble. This time my sickness tribulation was fierce, and it felt as if my body split into two halves.
The left side of my body was painful and weak, but my right side was normal. In spite of this, I kept silent and did not let others know, since it was my path of cultivation, and no one could stand in for me.
I had to pay for the karma I created. So I kept my routine as usual and continued to make materials and printed messages on paper currency to help awaken people.
But the physical pain made it difficult. I begged Master in my heart: I leave everything to you!
Master saw I was eager to help people, so He helped me do the following: When I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and worked on making and delivering materials, my whole body was relaxed and pain-free.
It only hurt when I did housework, slept, ate, and other things. I ignored the pain, however, and just thought of it as a good thing. I knew I should repay the debts I owed others. Master has eliminated countless and countless shares of karma and only a small amount is left for me to repay.
I thought to myself: “Let me suffer a little bit of hardship, repay the karmic debts, and move forward courageously following the cultivation path arranged by Master.”
It was also a profound lesson for me. I knew from then on, I shouldn't do any bad things and be a true disciple.
I re-adjusted the times I studied the Fa and studied four to five lectures of Zhuan Falun every day.
After studying each lecture, I thought about what I had enlightened to from the Fa and measured my behavior according to the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Every time I finished studying Zhuan Falun, I would go through the process of memorizing the book again. This helped me to comprehend the parts of the book I misunderstood before.
I found many attachments, such as selfishness, fear, laziness, dependence, resentment, and jealousy. After finding these notions, I released them and corrected myself. As I studied more and more Fa, my head was full of Fa, which squeezed out all other bad thoughts.
Unrighteous urges, like wanting to watch TV and partake in everyday pleasures can't stay with me. My life was extended by Master, and it is used solely for my cultivation, not for living an ordinary life, so I have to sprint!
After I returned home, I would study two additional lectures. If I lost time for Fa-study due to unexpected things, I would make up for it the next day.
As a cultivator, Fa-study is the most important thing, so I will not lose my way if I have the Fa as a guide.
Transforming My Old Mindset
In the blink of an eye, it was June and time to deliver the truth-clarification materials to other practitioners. I finished the morning exercises and wanted to rest for a while. But my lower back and legs hurt as usual.
I thought: “I shouldn't be interfered with by this anymore, as I have the final say!” I stood up, strengthened my righteous thoughts, carried the materials on my back, and set off.
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond” in Hong Yin Vol. II, translation version A)
With Master's protection, I successfully arrived at my destination! The moment I arrived, the pain suddenly disappeared, and the two halves of my body merged into one.
My whole body felt wonderful, and it seemed like I was floating. My feeling of joy was beyond words, so I repeatedly said in my heart: Thank you, Master! Thank you, Master!
“The master takes you through the entrance, and it is up to you to practice cultivation.” (Lecture Three in Zhuan Falun)
Master saw I had enough righteous thoughts, my mindset had changed, my xinxing had elevated, and I had met the requirements of my realm of cultivation. Master took away all of my sickness karma. Actually, He bore it for me!
One day, my younger daughter came to visit when I was about to go out to deliver materials. After walking for a while, she was panting and shouted: “Mom, can you go slower? You are walking ahead of me; I’m here running behind, and I can't keep up with you!”
I said: “Don't be slow; I must race against time to help save people!” Several times, when I clarified the truth to people, they would ask: “Are you fifty years old?”
“No, next year I will be eighty, as I am 79 years old now.”
They then looked me up and down: “How can you be almost 80? Incredible!”