Giving Up Sentimentality After My Husband's Passing
(Minghui.org) Over the past 26 years, my husband and I have walked on the path of cultivation hand in hand. Together we studied the Fa, performed the exercises and sent righteous thoughts. We were inseparable. He downloaded Master Li’s (the founder) new lectures and fellow practitioner’s sharing papers for me. Therefore, even now, I still don’t know how to use the internet. I am now 81 years old and although I have cultivated for many years, I realize my strong dependence on my husband.
But he’s gone now. My husband passed away on August 20, 2020. You can imagine how sorrowful I am.
My Husband Became Ill
At the end of April, there was medical interference with my husband. In the beginning, we were full of confidence. With Master and the Fa here, we must pass this test! During the process, we kept looking inward and thought that maybe we had xinxing problems or weak points to be exploited by the demons. Therefore, we kept looking inward, studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and sending righteous thoughts. But nothing improved.
My husband was never without Zhuan Falun during the one hundred and seventeen days from the beginning of the sickness karma to the day he passed away. He continually studied the Fa and recited Lunyu. He said: “I must study the Fa more, memorize more Fa. I want only the Fa in my heart.”
My husband was getting thinner and thinner although he didn’t look like he was suffering in great pain. Later on, he seemed to feel something and told me: “This may be my tribulation, my debt, I can’t leave without paying it back.”
During the last days before he passed away, my husband couldn’t walk nor could he eat anything. Our children forced him to take medicine and he did. I was worried whether he would attain consummation. At that time, I was really quite distraught and privately shed many tears.
My husband was forcibly taken to the hospital by our children seven days before his death. He kept saying he won’t take medicine and that he wanted to go home. He may have been referring to Heaven as his home. The doctor asked for his name. He answered gladly “ Falun Dafa Is Good”. The nurse asked how he felt. His response was still, “Falun Dafa Is Good.”
During this time, he kept asking me to study the Fa and practice the exercises more diligently. I promised him that I would do it. My children were so worried, but he was so calm.
Master Li's Voice When My Husband Was Passing Away
On the day of his death, our whole family was with him at the hospital. My children went outside the room to discuss things, leaving me, my youngest son and my grandson in the room. Suddenly I heard Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder) speaking to my husband in a loud voice: “You have achieved Consummation, Master will take you home.” The magnificent voice was so loud as if it came from the sky! It is difficult to express with human language what it sounded like. The sound was so loud that it almost knocked my grandson down. He staggered and kicked open the door of the bedside table. My children were all shocked. My grandson said, “ A very, very powerful sound really shook me up!”
At that time, my youngest son watched his father shake and open his eyes. I asked my husband if he heard Master’s words. He nodded excitedly. My gratitude was beyond words. At that moment, I understood that my husband had achieved consummation and Master was taking him home! What a blessing!
Two hours later, my husband left this world with a smile on his face. My children seemed to understand something from their father’s smiling face, although they didn’t hear Master’s words. They all quietly paid their last visit to their father.
Why did Master let me hear this? Master knew my attachments of emotion and fear. So Master reminded me severely and made me realize that:
“Every moment in your life is part of your spiritual journey, and at every moment I am looking after you. Don’t bring any disruptions to yourself. Instead, do well with what little of the journey remains.” (“Another Stern Warning”)
Getting Rid of Sentimentality
I was grateful that Master was always right by my side. However, I still couldn’t get rid of the attachment of sentiment, even after my son took me away for a vacation after my husband passed. But whenever my eyes were full of tears, Master’s warning immediately resounded in my ears, shocked me and awakened me.
I remember Master said:
“Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives.”
(“Cultivators’ Avoidances,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
“...you will stumble and fail in your cultivation.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that my xinxing level would fall if I was still indulged in emotion. I have transcribed the book of Zhuan Falun over nineteen times and recited five of the Hong Yin books since obtaining the Fa. But I truly realized the principles of the Fa, when I was awakened as Master spoke to my husband. Master said:
“Emotion is a net: the more one struggles, the more it tightens” (“What's Your Yearning?” Hong Yin III)
I don’t want to get caught in this net. I must cultivate myself, save more people and walk righteously on the cultivation path that Master extended for me. I must return to my original home with Master.
The purpose of this sharing paper is to remind practitioners who have been through a similar experience, not to get caught up in human emotion. To do so may delay the prehistoric wish of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. Master is waiting for our consummation and the time to bring us home. We should not disappoint Master who has mercifully worked to save us.