Lessons Learned From the Attachment of Sentimentality
(Minghui.org) Master said:
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for 23 years. However, I still held on tightly to my emotions, which caused difficulties in cultivation. The old forces grasped my weakness and magnified my attachment. They wanted to take my life, which caused me to have two dangerous situations last year. Had it not been for Master’s compassion to save me, I would no longer be alive.
Last June 21st was the anniversary of the death of my wife who was also a practitioner. She passed away two years ago. I missed her and wrote a poem on June 20th. I read the poem in front of her photo on the wall, which contained a sentence “when will I see you again.”
This deep yearning to see her was taken advantage of by the old forces and evils. My heart flustered at night and my heartbeat was weak. I couldn’t lie down. When I lay down, I couldn’t breathe. And especially, I couldn’t close my eyes. Whenever I closed my eyes, I felt like that I would lose my consciousness. The old forces would say, “Didn’t you ask when you will see her? Since you want to see her earnestly, we can let you see her now.”
I knew that the old forces had seized on my attachment to affection and wanted to take my life. I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts and said to the evils, “I know I am wrong. Master teaches us to let go of any human sentimentality but I was still holding onto it tightly. But it’s not you, but my Master, who is in charge of me. If you want to take my life, you have to get Master’s permission. Otherwise, you are ruining yourself!”
I kept sending forth righteous thoughts over and over again. Those symptoms then disappeared. After everything returned to normal, I started to study the Fa. Master said,
“...Everything in the entire human society comes from this qing. If this qing is not relinquished, you will be unable to cultivate.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I knew it was time to completely let go of this affection, so the next day I said to the photo of my wife on the wall, “I have not completed the task in assisting Master in Fa-rectification to awaken the conscience of sentient beings. We will see each other again when I complete the journey of cultivation and follow Master to return. Just wait for me in heaven.” I then took down all her photos. I thought, the old forces would no longer be able to take advantage of me in this regard since I had put away her photos. But this thought was seized on by the evils again, “Are you really letting go of this attachment of sentimentality? You just did so superficially.”
July 15th was my wife’s birthday. Because I hadn’t let go of this emotional attachment, the feeling of longing came to life again. The old forces saw my attachment, and that night my life was in jeopardy again.
I was awakened at around 1:00 a.m. unable to breathe. I was short of breath and panicked. I opened my eyes, and didn’t dare to close them again. I felt that I would leave this world if I closed my eyes. I realized that if they really wanted to take my life, it would be taken away without my knowledge. Why was I awakened? Was it another so-called test? Or did they just want me to know the real reason why they were taking my life? No matter the reasons, I immediately sent righteous thoughts and said to the old forces and evils behind them, “You are not qualified to take my life. Master Li Hongzhi is in charge of everything about me. My task in assisting Master with Fa-rectification has not yet been completed. You will never get your wish.” I then kept reciting, “The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the Evil is completely eliminated; the Fa rectifies heaven and earth, immediate retribution in this lifetime.”
At that time, my eyelids seemed too heavy to hold open. The evils wanted me to close my eyes. If I closed my eyes, I would pass away. I tried hard not to close my eyes, as I knew this was a struggle between life and death. This situation lasted for at least half an hour. Due to extreme difficulty in breathing, I tossed around on the bed. I was exhausted. When I felt that I could not hold on any longer, I called out for help, “Master, please help your disciple! The evil wants to take my life. Master, please!” I kept calling until my eyelids closed by themselves.
When my eyes closed, I did not lose consciousness immediately and I knew that Master was with me. I said to Master in my mind, “Master, I am in your hands. Life and death are up to you.”
I woke up at around 5:00 a.m. I opened my eyes and realized that I was still alive. Everything returned to normal. My tears poured out… Master saved me again from death.
Through these two tests of life and death, I deeply understand why Master requests us to advance in cultivation more diligently towards the end.
Master teaches us,
“If you say you are going to cultivate, though, they won’t let you do it: “You want to cultivate, you want to leave. Once you’ve developed gong, we won’t be able to reach you or touch you.” They will not let it happen and they will try everything to block you and stop you from cultivating. Accordingly, they will use all kinds of methods to interfere with you. They will even come to really kill you.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
The evils are now staring at all times. Once they catch our attachments, they will try to take our lives.
At the last stage of Master’s Fa-rectification, I must remember the two lessons for which I had almost exchanged my life. I must do the three things well according to Master’s requirements and follow my own path of diligent cultivation.
“Cultivate away fame, material interest, and emotion,Reach Consummation, ascending the firmament”(“Reaching Consummation, Completing Gong,” Hong Yin, Translation Version B)