Finally Becoming Resolute in My Mission
(Minghui.org) I have been translating for Minghui for several years—from translating articles for experience-sharing conferences, to letters of support from members of parliament, to articles for the French language Minghui website.
After occasionally leaving, I kept returning to French Minghui. Finally, in 2018, I came back. It took me twenty years to finally settle down and realize that this project was my mission. Today, my role in such an important project—Minghui—is one I never thought I would have. A lot has happened in the past twenty years.
I was an engineer, then worked as a journalist, and then in sales. All these experiences gave me skills, but my personality kept me from applying them. I thought that I wasn't good at leading a team, and instead thought I'd rather follow orders. But I'm good at managing the day-to-day details once someone sets the direction.
For a long time I didn't think I cultivated diligently enough to be a team leader in any Dafa project. I knew I should do better in studying the Fa, sending righteous thoughts, and raising awareness about the persecution to the public. I thought I was being modest, even though I knew I was capable.
Realizing the Importance of Minghui
My involvement in Minghui was intermittent because I did not understand its importance. On the surface, there are no consequences if the work is done poorly or not at all. There were no newspaper-style publication deadlines or constant scrutiny from supervisors.
Shortly after I returned to the French-language Minghui project in 2018, the Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference was held in Washington D.C. I usually attend such events with my mother and stay with her. The coordinator insisted that I stay with the rest of the team this time.
On one hand, I was glad to be able to move around on my own. But on the other hand, I was very reluctant to change my habits. I did not realize how important it would be to meet with other team members face-to-face. After all, we had been working very well from a distance.
I only knew the email addresses of the practitioners I worked with. This face-to-face meeting with them allowed me to anchor myself in the project. During those few days in Washington, D.C., I got to know key members of the team, including the editor.
I also met a new member who had just begun practicing Falun Dafa and was able to simultaneously interpret in three languages. Most importantly, I met the project's general coordinator. We talked about our daily lives. I'm isolated and live far from the other team members. Through these interactions the project became very meaningful. At last, I truly saw my mission.
Master Pushes Me Forward
I also became aware of issues within the team. All of us, including the general coordinator, had an in-depth sharing. I was amazed to find that I was still aware of the issues despite my lack of involvement. I would never have thought of getting involved in the coordination. I was hiding and using my youth and my inadequate cultivation state. I thought I didn't want to show off.
Another meeting was held the following year. I was reluctant to go as it was far away and expensive to travel. In addition, there would be no cultivation experience sharing conference, which to me, made the trip “worthy.”
I had no job or money but I had time. I didn't know what my husband would think. In the end, I decided to attend the meeting after the coordinator’s insistence and with my husband’s encouragement.
The meeting brought various changes and adjustments to the team's operations. I got to know more team members and we all wrote sharing articles to share with each other. Once operations were reorganized, I became part of a management team.
I felt extraordinarily honored, but also relieved that I was just one member of the team with relatively light responsibilities. We only had to meet once a week—so this did not increase my workload. On the surface I was still humble and avoided showing off, but the truth is, I did not want any responsibilities.
“Dafa disciples are no doubt working very hard. And that’s because the historic responsibility entrusted to you and that you shoulder is so great, and your historic mission dictates that you must, at this critical time, shoulder such a historic responsibility.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple” in Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
There were several changes after the international sharing conference in New York in 2019. The new coordinator had a tribulation, and two others and I were asked to shoulder his responsibilities.
It was supposed to be temporary, just waiting for that practitioner to pass the tribulation. But it was harder for me to escape my mission, and the responsibility I was supposed to take on eventually caught up with me.
On the human level, I was very confident that I was up to the task. But on the cultivation side I was not so confident. I was afraid that my lack of diligence would affect the project. I thought I was nowhere near the cultivation level to be in charge of such an important project of validating Dafa.
“Being able to recognize it is itself a big improvement. That's how cultivation is--when you constantly recognize your shortcomings you are improving yourselves, but how to strengthen your resolve is the most crucial thing for you to walk well the path that's ahead of you.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference” from Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IV)
In terms of work and cultivation, I had to be diligent. Master had already arranged everything. I was complacent and sought comfort. So, the projects I could get done were those that were requested by someone or had a deadline. The urgency drove me forward.
I now have an important position on the team and I can no longer run away. The only thing I need to do is to cultivate diligently so that the success of my cultivation is proportional to the responsibility I shoulder.
I always thought it was hard to get up early in the morning. But I now have a concrete reason to do so. After the website is updated, I have the entire morning to read one lecture of Master’s teaching and practice the exercises.
My Cultivation State Is Tested
I gradually started to do things other than studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. One day I noticed that I had hair loss. My hair stylist wondered why. People around me thought I was perhaps too nervous.
One night a thought flashed in my mind, “Doesn't hair loss mean leaving the Fa in Chinese? Am I losing hair because I’m leaving the Fa?” I enlightened that I should cultivate diligently.
I participate in a Fa-study group in the morning which does not affect my work. As soon as we enlighten to something, Master arranges a test to see if we are steadfast.
No practitioners live near me. I work from home, so I don’t see many people, and rarely have the opportunity to improve my character through interpersonal conflicts.
Once I began studying the Fa regularly, I began to have friction with another team member. I faced my first real difficulty as the person in charge. I first tried to deal with the conflict on a human level. I argued, debated, and refuted the other practitioner’s arguments. I pointed out the errors in his comments, etc. I thought that over the years, no one had given him a structured and well-reasoned response. After I argued with him he finally agreed with me.
This approach failed completely. With the help of two fellow practitioners in charge, I realized that arguing would only make things worse. I realized that although we try to professionalize management like a regular enterprise, our Dafa project is not a regular enterprise. When conflicts arise, they cannot be fully resolved by human means, but only by improving our character.
“When a problem occurs, it is because that person is stubbornly going against the Fa principles. Go and find where the problem lies, let go of that stubbornness, and sort things out. When you encounter something, the best approach is not to charge forward and contend with others, push your way to the front, and rush forward to chase down the solution. Let go of your attachment, take a step back, and then resolve it. (Applause) If whenever something happens you instantly jump into who's right, whose problem it is, and how you have done, then while on the surface it looks like you are resolving the conflict or tension, in reality that's not the case at all. On the surface it looks plenty rational, but in reality that's not rational at all. You haven't taken a step back and fully cast off your attachment, and then thought the issue over.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital” from Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. VII)
So I started looking inward, and I realized that arguing with the other practitioner was actually looking outward, even though it appeared as if I was arguing in accordance with the Fa. The only way to balance the whole situation was to take a step back and cultivate myself well. I shared my thoughts with the other practitioners in charge, and we proceeded accordingly. The issue has now been resolved and I have a new appreciation for team coordination.
I've only recently had these insights and I feel that I am still in the beginning stages of understanding my new role. I thank the former coordinator for pulling and pushing me to come back into this project. Without him, I may never have taken this step.
Here, I’d like to thank him again for the advice he still gives me, even if my attachments sometime prevent me from receiving it kindly.
I especially thank Master for allowing me to finally become firmly anchored in this project so that I can practice diligently. I thank fellow practitioners for giving me a cultivation environment.