China Fahui | Enveloped by Compassion After Letting Go of Fear
(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master and fellow practitioners!
I was released from prison in the spring of 2016, after I was held and tortured there for two years. I was detained after officers from the provincial police department stationed in our city began to persecute local Falun Gong practitioners. Some practitioners were harassed and arrested. Their homes were ransacked. Some practitioners had to leave their homes and go from place to place. I was thinking of staying at home, studying the Fa and improving my cultivation state. One practitioner came to see me and asked if I could become a district coordinator. I felt huge pressure.
After studying the Fa for a few days, I realized that I should let go of self and help Master Li rectify the Fa as a priority. With Master’s guidance, I have walked steadily on my cultivation path since then.
Letting Go of Fear When Rescuing Practitioners
Practitioner Yu (pseudonym), who had helped rescue me from prison, was arrested soon after I was released. This damaged our cultivation environment. Only a few practitioners were able to help rescue her. Her sister, who is also a practitioner, asked me to clarify the truth to her family members and urge them to hire a lawyer.
I began to worry, because I'd been arrested two years before when I was working with a lawyer. The fear lingered. I was wondering why they asked me to participate when I was just released from prison. But, on second thought, during the two years I was in prison, practitioners hired four lawyers for me. Lawyers could help expose the persecution and awaken the conscience of sentient beings. They could also help reinforce the practitioners’ righteous thoughts. The effect was positive. I had personally experienced that.
It was very difficult to break through my fear. But, no matter what, I had to see the husband of practitioner Yu. Her husband worried that he might spend money in vain if the lawyer couldn’t help much, and his wife might still be sentenced to a long term.
Using my personal experience as an example, I told him that the lawyer would play a positive role. The lawyer would help reduce the persecution and change the environment for his wife and also could encourage and help her. The lawyer would come into contact with the officers in the legal departments who were involved in persecuting his wife. He also could lodge a lawsuit, and the officers in the legal departments would restrain themselves when it came to persecuting her. The other practitioner and I clarified the truth in more detail to him. He understood and agreed to hire a lawyer for his wife.
Then I told the other practitioner that I would not be involved any further.
Our local practitioners as a whole were not able to cooperate with each other after a lawyer was hired. One day only one practitioner went to see the lawyer, who didn’t quite know the truth yet. The practitioner asked me to clarify the truth to him. I was not in a good cultivation state then and was not sharp mentally. I didn’t know how to clarify the truth to him. The practitioner asked me to tell him about my personal experience in prison.
When I saw the lawyer, I told him how my lawyer had encouraged me while I was in prison, and how he defended me from the legal point of view and pleaded not guilty for me. I also spoke of how he reasoned with the judge and protected my rights, despite facing huge pressure and harassment from the policemen.
The practitioner spoke highly of me after we returned home. She was tolerant of me and didn’t force me if I was not able to go with her to see the lawyer. So I was gradually involved in this case from the first hearing, second hearing, and finally when it went to the provincial court.
One incident is unforgettable. Because the court and prison didn’t do anything, the lawyer wrote a complaint to sue the governor of the province. The court didn’t dare to accept his complaint and said that they had to ask for an opinion from officials.
Practitioner Yu was arrested for filing a criminal complaint against Jiang Zemin, the former head of the Chinese Communist Party, as well as some other officers in the provincial departments who were involved in persecuting local practitioners. I was worried. Would we be persecuted because of the lawsuit against the governor? Should we go ahead with the lawsuit? Our local practitioners had a good sharing on this matter. I couldn’t remember what I had said then. I only remember that I let go of fame, personal interest, and self along the way.
All of the practitioners who helped with this case had improved. Our case made solid progress. The judges in the provincial court learned the truth through this case, and some acted positively. The lawyer met with practitioner Yu. This was the first instance of a lawyer meeting with a Falun Dafa practitioner in this prison. All the guards in the prison learned that a lawyer was defending the practitioner and pleaded not guilty for her. They were shocked.
Practitioner Yu told us after she was released that her righteous thoughts were strengthened after she met the lawyer, and learned that the other practitioners were rescuing her. She was greatly encouraged. The guards and inmates no longer tortured her after that. The environment for the practitioners improved.
A practitioner said to me one day: “You are okay now and dare to go everywhere without hiding your face behind a mask.” Yes, I was no longer so afraid.
I realized that Master took away the fear for me after I studied the Fa well, let go of self, and was considerate of other people.
Overcoming Sickness Karma
A practitioner asked me to help practitioner Qing (pseudonym), who was experiencing sickness karma and didn’t dare to sleep at night. She was afraid that she might die in her sleep. This situation had lasted for two months.
I was surprised to see practitioner Qing. She was not the person she used to be. She looked pale and was very skinny. Her back was bent and she'd lost hair. She had been arrested two months before. She was under great stress and lay on the floor in the police office. She was taken to a hospital and was diagnosed with a stroke. The police officers didn’t want to be held responsible so they released her on bail for medical treatment.
She signed the release form and regretted doing it after she returned home. She didn’t sleep for two months and was in a trance. When she saw me, she made three requests. First, she asked me to clarify the truth to her husband. He'd destroyed Dafa books because he was afraid that the police might get hold of them and use them as evidence against her. He didn’t think he was wrong and refused to write a statement to apologize for what he'd done. Second, she asked me to study the Fa with her, and third, she asked me to stay with her at night. She was afraid of dying at night. I was not used to living in someone else's home. But seeing this practitioner who was in tribulation and still wanted to save her husband, I agreed.
I clarified the truth to her husband from his angle. I said, “I understand that you didn’t destroy the Dafa books willingly. You were afraid that the police would find them and use them as evidence to persecute your wife. You actually wanted to protect her.” He nodded in agreement. I then gave him some examples of karmic retribution that people incurred when they destroyed Dafa books or got involved in persecuting practitioners. I hoped that he would recognize his mistake and write a statement to denounce his action. He agreed.
He was not in good health and his hands trembled. I said to him, “I will write a statement for you and you can sign it. Master sees your heart.” So he signed the statement.
Practitioner Qing was greatly encouraged, but the biggest help I could offer her would be to help her study the Fa well. On the first night, I suggested that we recite the Fa. We started with Hong Yin because she could recite some of the poems. She lay in bed and I sat in lotus position on the floor. We recited one poem after another. She recited with me first and gradually I couldn’t hear her. She fell asleep. She woke up 20 minutes later and said, “What a sound sleep! I haven’t been able to sleep like this for two months.”
On the first day in her home, I said to her, “I will stay with you every night and will study the Fa with you. But I will leave every morning after we send forth righteous thoughts at 6:00 a.m. I will not eat any meals in your home because I don’t want to cause you trouble.” After I came home every morning, I did the exercises and didn’t miss a single day. I had to be in a good cultivation state so that I could help her better.
Qing lived in a big apartment. We shared an ensuite so that it was easier for me to look after her. Her husband came to see her one night and was very touched when he saw me sitting on the floor reciting the Fa to her.
Her brother and his wife came to see her and urged her to see the doctor. One day they came again. “I will send righteous thoughts for you in this room,” I said to her. “You’d better go see them. Be happy and cheerful. They won’t urge you to see the doctor if they see that you have gotten better. We won’t allow the evil factors in the other dimension to manipulate your relatives to interfere you.” They were relieved when they saw that she was much better.
There was a lot of interference when she was sending righteous thoughts. She felt unwell when sending righteous thoughts. One day I sent righteous thoughts for two hours towards her. She felt pain at the start but not after I finished. She said, “I had a breakthrough. I am able to stay calm while you are sending righteous thoughts.”
Coming home one night, she couldn’t stand up in the elevator. She looked pale and had to lay in bed without any strength. Her husband was terrified and wanted to call her brother and take her to the hospital. “You can plead for Master’s help,” I said to her. “Please recite, ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’ I will go talk to your husband.”
“Brother, please don’t act hastily,” I said to him. “It is now 9 p.m. All the experts are at home. Only the doctors on duty are in the hospital. The hospital cannot do much so late. Give us time this evening and we will study the Fa and send righteous thoughts. If you are still worried about her tomorrow morning, she will go to the hospital. How about that?”
He agreed. I went into our room and shared with her: “A practitioner was severely tortured in jail. He said, ‘It was so painful when I was tied to a bed with five ropes. Every part of my body hurt. It was hard to bear it even for one second. I thought that one day consists of 24 hours. One hour consists of 60 minutes. One minute consists of 60 seconds. I asked myself if I could bear one second. Of course I could. So I will bear one second after another until the persecution ends.'
“Master told us that we didn’t belong to the Three Realms even if we passed away early. But please think about it: if you leave, who will continue clarifying the truth to the family members of your husband, to your extended family members, to your own family members and your grandchildren? So many sentient beings. If you leave, who will save them? Will they still believe us if we clarify the truth to them? If we don’t think of ourselves, we have to think of those beings. We’d better not give up. We have to persevere, even if it's for just one more second!”
She looked at me with her eyes full of compassion and nodded at me with determination. I suggested that we send forth righteous thoughts. She said that she was not able to and suggested that we study the Fa instead. I recited Master’s article “Position” to her.
“The trials that a cultivator goes through are something an everyday person could not endure. That is why throughout history so few people have been able to succeed in cultivation and reach Consummation. Human beings are just human beings. At critical moments it is hard for them to let go of their human notions, but they always try to find excuses to convince themselves. A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials. I congratulate the Dafa cultivators who can come through the Consummation-determining tests. The eternity in which your beings never perish and even your future levels are established by you, yourselves; mighty virtue comes from your own cultivation. Be diligent! This is most magnificent, and the greatest privilege.” (“Position”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I recited the above Fa again and again. She recited it with me later on. I didn’t know how many times I recited it. I didn’t stop reciting until she felt better. Then, I sent righteous thoughts for a long time.
Her cultivation state had improved a lot by the next morning. I encouraged her to cook breakfast for her husband so that her husband might stop urging her to see the doctor. When her husband saw her cooking, he was amazed at how wonderful and extraordinary Falun Dafa was! He didn’t mention seeing the doctor. I knew Master had dissolved the tribulation for her because she was thinking of her sentient beings.
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin II)
That night I asked her to practice the exercises with me. “I will practice the exercises twice. You can do whatever you can,” I said. She practiced once at the start. Then she practiced twice with me. She said to me later on: “When I followed you to practice the exercises for the second time, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I was going to kneel down and ask you to stop doing the exercises. But your eyes were closed and I couldn’t bear to disturb you. So I persisted. I had a breakthrough. I like to do the exercises now.”
One day her husband said to her: “Look at you now. Your hair is all gray. It doesn’t look good. Why don’t you do something?” So I accompanied her to the hairdresser to have her hair done. All the people there knew her. She had clarified the truth to them. They knew she was a Falun Dafa practitioner. They were surprised to see her. They said that she was beautiful and energetic and she looked old now, and something must have happened to her in her family.
She rushed out after she had her hair done. She was upset. “This was not caused by Falun Dafa.” I said to her, “This is because of the evil’s persecution. You should tell them without fear the facts about the persecution against you. Otherwise they will misunderstand you. You are not damaging Dafa if you tell them the facts of the persecution. You are exposing the evil’s persecution. You are awakening people's conscience.”
Upon hearing that, she said: “That is the issue in my mind. I don’t cultivate well and have damaged Dafa. I find it difficult to clarify the truth to people. Since you said that, my mind has opened up.” She went back to the hairdresser and told them how she was arrested and tortured. She told them that she would have lost her life if it were not for Dafa's Master protecting her. Seeing that she could clarify the truth to people again, I was very grateful to Master for his compassionate protection.
She had recovered after six months, which played a positive role among ordinary people. Her granddaughter stopped studying the Fa when she saw she was in terrible condition. She started to study the Fa again after she witnessed the miracle created by Dafa. She can now recite many poems from Hong Yin. Her brother and his wife started to practice Dafa. Her recovery also encouraged other practitioners who were suffering from sickness karma.
Letting Go of Jealousy
When I learned that an elderly practitioner in her 80s was going to be a coordinator for the city Fa study group last year, I was upset. “I have sacrificed so much. Am I not as good as an 80-year-old lady?” I was not convinced and did things passively.
Then, Master's following paragraph resonated in my mind:
“Let me tell a story. In the book Investiture of the Gods, Shen Gongbao found Jiang Ziya to be both old and incompetent. But the Primitive God of Heaven asked Jiang Ziya to confer titles on immortals. Shen Gongbao felt in his heart that it was unfair: "Why is he asked to confer titles on immortals? You see how capable I am. After my head is cut off, I can put it back on my shoulders. Why wasn’t I asked to confer titles on immortals?" He was so jealous that he always caused troubles for Jiang Ziya.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I had acted like Shen Gongbao. Our local coordinator appointed her and must have a reason. A coordinator was not a kind of management in our cultivation environment. Why did I pay so much attention to it? It must be my jealousy. I tried to let it go. When I looked at that elderly practitioner again, I found so many merits. She was very firm in her belief in Dafa and cultivated solidly. She took studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts very seriously. I should help her when she was not able to visit the Minghui website or send messages to the Minghui inbox. I should cooperate with her and improve my xinxing. I had to increase my capacity for tolerance. I should let go of my self and cooperate with the whole body.
Letting Go of Self
Two practitioners were arrested several days ago. Other practitioners and I went to see their family members, sent forth righteous thoughts in front of the police station, and cooperated with the rescuing team.
One day I went to see another practitioner, who was looking for a practitioner who could accompany her to visit the family members of the arrested practitioners and get to the practitioners’ situation. Seeing me, she scolded me. She said that I was irresponsible and was oblivious to the arrest of the practitioners and treated practitioners differently. If it was before, I would explain and defend myself. But, this time I didn’t say anything. I looked within unconditionally.
I said to her: “Let’s send forth righteous thoughts for them, clear the dimensional fields of them and their family members. Then we can visit their family members together.”
Because I let go of myself and looked within unconditionally, Master strengthened me. I sat down and sent forth righteous thoughts for three hours. I was very calm and enveloped with energy. I felt very comfortable. I could feel that I was sending strong righteous thoughts. After we finished righteous thoughts, the practitioner said: “I understand now why you didn’t say anything when I scolded you. I could feel that you were very calm when sending righteous thoughts and really focused. I was not calm at the start, but gradually calmed down.”
We bought some fruits and went to see the practitioners’ family members. But they drove us out and threatened that they would call the police if we stayed. On the way back home. I looked within. My heart was not pure when I visited them. I wanted to dig out more information from them, but was not really worried about them. I didn’t look at the issue from their point of view and didn’t speak to them with compassion. I didn’t completely let go of my self and regard the practitioners as my family members. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachments.
The next day I bought some clothes for the two practitioners and went to see them with other practitioners. I deposited some money into their accounts. I hoped that they would learn that the local practitioners were strengthening them with righteous thoughts.
A practitioner in her 80s in one of our areas was not able to coordinate well in some of her projects. I took the initiative to help her. One practitioner was arrested in her area in July last year. The practitioner was detained for over a year and now facing an illegal trial. Her family didn’t want to hire a lawyer. The practitioners who were in charge of rescuing her didn’t take action swiftly out of fear and the difficulties they faced. I recited Master’s Fa repeatedly so as to strengthen my righteous thoughts.
“You are the hope of humankind. Get going and get active, and, like the Dafa disciples in North America, don’t shy away from the difficulties that you meet with. Don’t be blocked by man-made constraints. And don’t be intimidated by the evil, for these historic days are given to you.” (To the Fa Conference in France)
Practitioners realized that we should cherish the opportunity and the time that Master extended for us with his suffering. We should cultivate well and awaken the conscience of more sentient beings. Some practitioners and I clarified the truth about Dafa to the family members of the arrested practitioner. They agreed to hire a lawyer. I then worked with the lawyer.
While I was with the lawyer, information from “an internal source from the police department” was disseminated to me. My heart was moved. The lawyer had a lot of interference as well. The president of the court didn’t want to see him. He stayed in our city for four days. Because of the interference and the video cameras in the court, it was dangerous for practitioners to be around the court. So we agreed that the practitioner’s family member should be with the lawyer the next day. Practitioners sent righteous thoughts at home.
I was not at ease that night. If we didn’t go with the lawyer, how could we cooperate with him well, since we didn’t know what he required or what kind of difficulties he faced? I shared this with other practitioners. So what did I fear? Was it because I couldn’t let go of fame and personal interest? To help Master rectify the Fa, there is nothing I could not let go of.
I took a taxi to the court the next morning. The taxi driver said: “My car has been just fixed. Very powerful now. I only need to lightly step on the gas, and it moves forward instantly.” I realized that Master was encouraging me via him. I let go of fear and notions, my righteous thoughts became strong and I just went ahead.
When I arrived at the court, the lawyer was calling the judge. He made several calls to the judge, who didn’t answer. The family member of the practitioner kept discouraging the lawyer as he said: “Since he doesn’t answer, please don’t call him again. Please don’t annoy him and make this a big issue. Otherwise he will give a heavy penalty, which is not good.”
I knew my responsibility as a Dafa practitioner. I called the practitioner’s family member aside and comforted him. “The reason the judge didn’t answer the phone calls and didn’t want to see our lawyer is because he knows he is violating the law. The Dafa books they got cannot be the evidence for persecution.”
The lawyer asked the family member to go home and said that it was enough that I accompanied him. I realized that Dafa practitioners had to play the main role and the lawyer needed our support.
The judge still didn’t pick up the phone. We went to the Intermediate Court to lodge a complaint. On the way to the court Master gave me wisdom. I reminded the lawyer to send documents to the judge by express post. Then we visited several other legal departments. He was touched and said: “I have been in this industry for 30 years and have never been refused a meeting with the judge. Thanks for coming along, and your ideas. Otherwise I would not be able to visit those departments by myself. I would like to invite you to dinner tonight. Tomorrow morning I will go to the court. Can you please go with me?”
While studying the Fa recently, I had new insights. I came to know the Fa principles from the micro-level. My body could feel it. My cultivation state had improved. I was not so easily moved. My mind was stable. I could calm down while sending righteous thoughts and was enveloped by energy.
Having gone through the ups and downs, I treasure the cultivation environment that Master has arranged for me and cherish the limited time that Master has extended for us. I also cherish Master's forbearance and sacrifice more and appreciate the cultivation opportunities. This allows practitioners to cooperate with each other to help Master rectify the Fa in the human world.
“When we've passed through this part of history and we take a look back, if every Dafa disciple is able to say, "I've done what I was supposed to do," (applause) then that's the most extraordinary.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Washington DC Fa Conference”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IV)