Believe in Master and Trust Fellow Practitioners
(Minghui.org) Several recent incidents exposed many of my attachments, especially my attachment to suspicion. Guided by the Falun Dafa principles and through solid cultivation, I experienced a broad and beautiful realm after I let go of the attachment of suspicion.
My Eternal Regret
Several months ago, my mother, my aunt, and I attended a trial involving Li, a Falun Dafa practitioner. She had lodged a case against the police for illegal search and detention. But when we got there, nobody was in the courtroom. We didn’t know that the time for the trial had been changed.
In talking with Li, I realized that she did not clearly understand how court cases proceeded and she let her lawyer take care of everything. I was a bit disappointed and now doubted whether she could win the case. I shared with her my personal experiences and ideas on how to prepare for the trial.
My mother and aunt thought the same, but we believed that Li was doing the right thing and that we should support her efforts with righteous thoughts. The trial was rescheduled. The day before the trial, I was tired and didn’t want to attend, so my mother and aunt decided not to go, either.
The day after the trial, Li came over and asked why we didn’t go, as she had reserved three seats for us. I really regretted not showing up. Li looked radiant. She said that the trial was successful. Her lawyer presented a good defense and she spoke well. She looked like a different person from the one I had seen the other day. She thanked me for sharing with her and said my words helped her a lot. She also admitted she was disappointed that we hadn’t appeared in court.
I was sad and full of regret after she left. This was a good lesson for me. I hadn’t believed in her. I was fooled by the false impression I had of her. I didn’t think from a practitioner’s perspective and didn’t support her as I should have. Due to my laziness and seeking comfort, my mother and aunt didn’t go either. It was because of me that my family did not go to the trial. By looking within further, I found that my not trusting the practitioner led me to make a mistake that became an eternal regret.
Doubting Fellow Practitioners
Sometime later my mother also had a court case going to trial. The judge was aggressive and presented a lot of unreasonable requirements. My aunt and I were not confident we could adequately represent my mother, so we hired the same lawyer Li had used.
After talking with my mom, I decided that my aunt would assist the lawyer with the case. I knew this was an opportunity for me to cultivate. I worked hard on my mom’s case and spent all my spare time preparing. I knew the case backward and forward. I knew that to improve I needed to let go of my attachments. My aunt cooperated with me and supported me unconditionally. She sent strong righteous thoughts all the time. I thought she should have the opportunity to represent my mom.
Although I’d made the decision, I still worried about my aunt. I was afraid that she might do this or that. I became anxious and always thought of the case and tried my best to take everything into consideration. I went through all the questions that the judge might ask and prepared replies.
I discovered that the lawyer was not as righteous as I had thought. He seemed to waver in his conviction that the case could be won. My aunt was not firm, either. Only my mom and I wanted to go ahead with the case. I became suspicious and in agony. My mind was racing all the time and I worried about everything. I told my mother repeatedly what she should or shouldn’t say in court. I was more concerned about my aunt. I clearly explained to her that she should be firm in her own opinions and not be influenced by other people. I was even ready to replace her if she was not able to do it. I prepared the relevant laws, outlined the proceedings, and wrote down what they should say in court. I asked them to learn and memorize them.
My mom is a veteran practitioner. She was very righteous when she was facing the evil. She was rational and factual. She never wavered. But I still didn’t believe in her and worried that she might not hit the main points at the trial. She saw my worry and said to me, “Take it easy. I know what to say. Master Li will give me wisdom when the time comes.” But I thought that she didn’t put a lot of effort into the case and didn’t care much about it. I became even more anxious. My aunt asked me to replace her as assistant to the lawyer. She said that she would rather send righteous thoughts for us in the courtroom.
One morning when I was doing the second exercise, my mind went wild. I thought of how much effort I had put forth for the case and how I looked after everything. My heart felt heavy. I felt I was wronged. Why didn’t my mom and my aunt care about the case? When I was just about to collapse, I shouted “Master!” Immediately, four words came into my mind: “I believe in you!” Instantly, I felt better.
I knew then that my cultivation state was not good. I thought that the pressure on me would be less because we’d hired the lawyer. But that was not the case. I asked myself what was going wrong. The lawyer and my family members saw that I devoted all my time and energy to this. Nobody had any doubts about what I had done.
But why didn’t I believe in my fellow practitioners? I didn’t believe this person or that person and had doubts about their abilities. Actually, I didn’t believe in Master or Dafa. I didn’t believe I was Master’s disciple. I didn’t believe Master’s Fa principle of, “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun). I didn’t firmly believe that if practitioners had the intention to do things well, Master would strengthen them to do well and do even better.
Believing in Other Practitioners Made Things Go Well
I was studying the book Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX and it seemed as if Master was lecturing directly to me. I was excited. I knew Master was with me all the time and knew my thoughts. He took away the bad substances called “disbelief” and “doubt” from me. I felt light. My mom was reading the materials I had prepared for her. My aunt was, too. She was thinking about how she could cooperate better. She tried very hard to meet my expectations.
I read the lawyer’s defense plea for the practitioner. It was powerful and solid. He was not the same person I’d seen the other day. I could believe in him now.
I suddenly realized that it was not that my fellow practitioners, my family members, and the lawyer were not capable, but that my suspiciousness made everything I saw seem untrustworthy. My disbelief and doubt had made the others feel uncomfortable.
My mom and aunt said that I had improved. My aunt was relieved and said, “I didn’t tell you that I felt so tired. I was afraid that I would not do well and would not reach your standard. If you don’t behave like you did before, I will do better. Master will strengthen me.” She shared her thoughts, which I found reasonable. I had been suppressing them and suppressed their wisdom.
I said to them, “I believe that Master will definitely strengthen both of you and will strengthen me as well. I believe in you and the lawyer. I believe in the judge. I believe that the judge will make the right decision once he learns the truth.”
We shared out thoughts on the trial. Practitioners have no enemies. We didn’t want to defeat the defendants or lord it over them. We should reflect a practitioner’s demeanor. They were lost in the chaotic society and went with the trend to help persecute practitioners. Through this trial, they had the opportunity to meet practitioners and learn the truth so that they could make the right choice and have a good future. This was the purpose of the trial.
The judge’s attitude changed completely after we spoke. He no longer mentioned the unreasonable requirements he had presented to us before. He was all smiles when he met us. The defendants submitted their materials quickly. They didn’t have bad intentions from what we could find in their records. My family of practitioners cooperated well on this matter. The lawyer tried his best to prepare for the case.
I felt relaxed and comfortable. I realized that trusting other people demonstrated my cultivation level and how open-minded I was. I believed in other people not because they met my expectations, but because I trusted in Master Li. I know that I am a Faun Dafa practitioner. I believe that Master looks after us and arranges everything for us.
One rainy evening, while sitting on my balcony, I saw a rainbow in the sky in seven beautiful colors. I felt totally relaxed deep inside. This was the first time I was able to appreciate my surroundings with a positive attitude. I felt like a part of nature and realized that it was indeed possible for a person to actually feel so stress-free and wonderful.
I had been suspicious of everything. I wanted to control everything and make sure that things were done according to my requirements and standards. Yet I was not willing to take responsibility for the outcomes of my decisions. When facing conflicts or sudden changes, I didn’t make a decision immediately. I didn’t rush into decisions.
Actually, many times I let my mom make decisions for me so I would not have to take responsibility for the results. I hid behind her but wanted to control everything and was skeptical about everything.
I was nervous and suspicious. I never felt lighthearted. I didn’t appreciate anyone or anything. Even my best friends got angry with me because I didn’t believe in them. I lived cautiously and thought a lot before I made a decision to avoid any problems. My mom said that I was like an old lady and moved forward with tiny steps. I was not frank or straightforward.
No wonder I always felt tired. Actually, I doubted myself and didn’t believe in myself. As a practitioner, fundamentally it seemed maybe I didn’t believe in Master and Dafa. So I had contradictory mentalities and behaviors.
Several days later, the judge told me that the trial might be postponed and asked for my opinion. I told him that we expected the case would be trialed as scheduled. This time I was certain and firm.
This was a small decision, but I felt I had changed. I made the decision and was responsible for it. I didn’t push the responsibility onto someone else.
Master helped me to realize my problems through these kinds of situations. Fa principles guided me in learning how to trust other people and become open and broadminded. Thank you, Master!