The Insidious Effects of Jealousy
(Minghui.org) For a long time, I had made no improvement in my character xinxing cultivation. I had a strong attachment of fear and felt my practice was too exhausting. I was very sad and questioned whether I would be able to reach consummation (or enlightenment).
But after a recent incident in our area, I discovered that I harbored jealousy deep within. My xinxing improved after I realized this, and I now know how to further improve and cultivate myself.
The situation involved two fellow practitioners; they are a young couple who worked out of town and recently came to visit their parents. They were taken to the city security agency to be interrogated. When I heard that, I started to send forth righteous thoughts.
Everyone knows that we should sit straight, focus the mind, and be free of extraneous thoughts. I then experienced a bit of happiness and even gloated about their plight in my heart. I was alarmed by this, “What was going on? How can I laugh when faced with such a serious issue?” I realized it was because of jealousy.
Master said, “It can evoke one’s jealousy, for if someone is doing well, instead of feeling happy for him or her, people’s minds will feel uneasy.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
After I realized this, I didn’t even dare to share my thoughts with others. I thought: “I am a veteran practitioner, yet I still have a malicious mind.” Because I still have jealousy, this affects saving sentient beings. It's no wonder that many people don’t want to listen to me when I clarify the truth to them! There are evil factors in jealousy; this would infuse the messages people receive from me. They, consequently, will not feel that I am saving them with kindness.
I sent forth righteous thoughts targeting this jealousy, and I put my heart into dissolving the evil factors persecuting these two practitioners. Three days later, I heard they had returned home safely.
From this, I realized that everything around me does not occur by chance, and it is an opportunity for me to improve my cultivation.
During those two to three days, while I was sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate my jealousy, I also solved another problem that had gone unnoticed for a long time.
Two years ago, a blind practitioner moved to our area. He needed our help; the most important being that we study theFa with him so he can improve and overcome his problem. He remained blind for three years, however, and there was no indication of recovery. We didn’t know what was wrong.
Master often tells us to look within, and we should follow His instructions. Our group shared with the blind practitioner about looking within. He did not like hearing this and showed resentment when other practitioners told him to identify his attachments.
Gradually, he lost hope in fellow practitioners. We then complained that he didn’t look within. His reaction was, “There have been over 100 practitioners who've offered advice, but none could solve my problem. We have sent righteous thoughts so many times, but there was no effect.”
Consequently, there was a division between us, and each of us held our own opinion. Gradually, most of the practitioners no longer wanted to go study with him, except the ones who lived nearby.
I was among those who went to his place to study the Fa every night. I had some negative thoughts about it and didn’t want to continue going. Sometimes, he was unhappy when we went there and didn’t say one word. We just smiled at him, although we didn’t feel good about the situation.
After we improved our xinxing, he no longer seemed unhappy. Although we still hadn’t reached a consensus in our understanding, I let go of my jealousy and made a breakthrough.
One afternoon, three of us went to study the Fa with the blind practitioner. And when we broached his problem again, he suddenly asked, “You all say I am stubborn. Aren’t you stubborn?” I asked myself, “Are we?” I then asked a young practitioner. “Yes,” he replied.
I realized my problem. For a long time, I always focused on helping other practitioners to look within. Behind this were my own attachments: I didn’t want to change myself, but wanted to force other practitioners to accept what I had enlightened to instead. I realized that the blind practitioner moving to our area was an opportunity for me to cultivate.
That night I had a dream: I couldn’t find my bike when I returned home. Someone gave me three keys. I then found my bike with a hole in the tire, and someone was fixing it. After I woke up, I understood that I only wanted to change others but not myself. I always feel that I am correct. This is a very selfish attachment and loophole. Master saw this and fixed it for me.
During the process of writing this article, I realized that this attachment is also a reflection of jealousy. Think about it, if others don’t do what I suggest, I don’t like it and sometimes even ridicule them. Isn’t that malicious?
During these years, many practitioners have been persecuted, and I am among them. Could it be because of our jealousy? We always say, “go out and save sentient beings,” but have we really thought about how difficult this is? I didn’t possess benevolence, not to mention mercy.
Following my realization, when we sent forth righteous thoughts, I felt I was flying upward and my gong (energy) reached very high and far. I had the thought: “If I could fly beyond the three realms and have a broader view, it would be easy to eliminate the evil factors. One thought would be enough to eliminate them!”
Later that night, when I was again sending righteous thoughts, I reached a similar state: I could see our entire county and all the conflicts among fellow practitioners. Then I had a benevolent thought and felt guilty that these issues were a reflection of my own omissions, not other practitioners' mistakes.
It was the evil factors taking advantage of the notions that we hadn’t let go of. This only served to isolated us, which affected our ability to be a whole body. We should be one body and dissolve those evil factors that prevented us from saving sentient beings.
In a dream, I told the director of the police department who was also in charge of the 610 Office, “Don’t participate in the persecution” We shook hands, and then he left my dimensional field.
This person was real and had been involved in the persecution since 1999. I was arrested twice and always remembered his menacing appearance. In past dreams, rotten ghosts transformed into his likeness to scare me. I sent righteous thoughts but I still had fear, so they were not effective.
Since I improved in cultivation and let go of my jealousy, my malignant thoughts were eliminated. I now have a lot of energy because of benevolence. In this way, that man in charge of the 610 Office also changed after I improved based on Master’s Fa.
Master told us, “looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
Master also said, “The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
With Master’s Fa, we can eliminate the evil, save sentient beings, and improve our levels. It is no wonder that other deities admire Dafa disciples. The opportunities we have and what we can achieve make us the most blessed!