“My Life Is Now Full of Hope!”
(Minghui.org) Ever since she was little, Ms. Zheng Yuhan felt that she was dealt the short end of the stick. She never had a day where she didn't run into obstacles, frustration, difficulties, or suffered from a sickness – nothing went her way. She felt hopeless and didn't think she could be happy. She wondered, “Why is life so hard?” But, things all turned around the year she turned 36.
“It might seem to an outsider that I had a happy family,” said Yuhan, “but that was not the case. My parents fought with each other constantly, and I couldn't do anything about it. I felt helpless because no matter how well I did, it didn't change the situation. The world was a huge prison, and I was one of the prisoners. Pain pushed me forward in life.”
Yuhan grew up in an unstable home environment, became sensitive when it came to relationships, and felt inferior. She developed a negative outlook in life and didn't care to try to do well in school. She used silence and distance to protect herself. Because of her low academic performance, she became the target of bullying in middle school.
“One classmate started it by regularly berating me,” she said, “and slowly others in class joined him. Sometimes they'd take turns to berate me. The bullying also happened outside of school when I walked down the street. Even the teacher would say, 'Zheng Yuhan's grades are so bad, what nickname should we give her?'”
After graduating from middle school, Yuhan went to a technical high school to become a nurse. She repeated grades and transferred schools a few times, and eventually graduated. She hoped that bad luck would not follow her once out of school, but little did she know, she'd continue to be the victim of bullying at work.
Struggling as a nurse apprentice, she said, “I became a student nurse once I graduated from the technical school. I couldn't keep up, because I was slow in doing things when responding to situations, and had a bad memory. Others tried to teach me, but I still couldn't remember what to do, and often messed things up at work.”
It was her mother's wish that Yuhan become a nurse. But because she couldn't handle the work, she failed to obtain her nursing license. It was such a waste to have gone to nursing school for so many years. After convincing her parents, Yuhan went back to school to study information management. In her new field, Yuhan slowly gained skills as she worked a few jobs, and learned from her bosses' critique of the work, until her life took a sharp turn when she was 33 years old.
Struggling with Illness
Yuhan had an appendix surgery in November 2009 due to appendicitis. When she woke up from the anesthesia, she was in vegetative state. She couldn't open her eyes, nor move her mouth. She couldn't object when the doctors examined her, and inserted tubes into her body. She was very much aware of things around, but she could only hear.
Yuhan recounted her experience, “It was painful. The doctors put me through a series of tests, and decided that it was caused by the shrinking of my pituitary gland, which lead to very low level production of thyroxine and adrenaline. My younger brother is a doctor. After discussing me with my physician, they agreed to start me on steroids. I lost count of how many shots of steroids I got.”
Yuhan quit her job to recuperate at home after being released from the hospital. Her basic life functions heavily depended on large doses of steroids and thyroid hormones.
“The side effects were weight gain,” she said, “thinning of the skin and water retention. I was so swollen that my face was round like the moon, my shoulders as big as a buffalo's, and my figure resembled a bear. I already had very low self-esteem to begin with, now it had gotten even worse. I started to have mood swings and was depressed.”
Her health stabilized after a year of resting at home. Yuhan wanted a purpose in life, so she started sending out resumes and applying for jobs. She said, “Surprisingly, it all went really smooth this time. Soon after an interview, I was offered a job, as if an invisible force in the universe had given me a break.”
The Power of Zhuan Falun
Everything was on the right track for a short while after Yuhan started her new job, but then she became sick again in June 2012.
“I was supposed to get ready for work,” she said, “but I couldn't. I heard my mother's voice, and realized that I was going to be late, but I couldn't move. My entire body was stiff, like a rock. I thought 'Oh no, I am sick again.' My next thought was, 'Will this stroke of bad luck ever end?'” Yuhan wished she was dead.
A few days later, Yuhan heard her mother talking on the phone to Professor Yang Shuoying from the Department of Business Administration in Sun Yat-sen University, telling the professor about her sick daughter. Professor Yang responded, “Don't you have a copy of Zhuan Falun? Let her read the book and she will be well.”
Yuhan recalled, “My mother had her phone on speaker, so I heard everything. My mother didn't believe Professor Yang, and said that a book wasn't medicine. She questioned how a book could help me when the doctors couldn't. Professor Yang insisted, so my mother put the book, Zhuan Falun, on my stomach. Suddenly, I felt a powerful force weighing down on me, so heavy that I couldn't breathe. Within seconds, I sat up in my bed.”
Yuhan's mother couldn't believe her eyes – her daughter had not woken up in days but now she was sitting up. She told Yuhan to not to skip a line, nor a page, and to read the entire book Zhuan Falun. “I started to read one page at a time. At first I didn't feel much, but as I continued to read, I felt the power of the book, and as I read more, I wanted to keep going. The book had all the answers to life that I had been wondering about since I was little.”
In the book, Master Li Hongzhi, said,
“From the perspective of a higher life, the development of human society progresses according to specific laws of development. Therefore, what one does in life is not arranged based on one’s abilities. Buddhism believes in the principle of karmic retribution. One’s life is arranged according to one’s karma. No matter how capable you are, if you do not have de, perhaps you will have nothing in this life. You think that another person is good at nothing, but he has a lot of de. He could become a high-ranking official or make a big fortune. An everyday person cannot see this point and always believes that he should do exactly what he is able to. Therefore, he competes and fights all his life with a badly wounded heart. He might feel very bitter and tired, always finding things unfair. Being unable to eat or sleep well, he feels sad and disappointed. When he gets older, he will end up in poor health and all kinds of illnesses will surface.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Yuhan's face was covered with tears. She said, “I have had so many ordeals growing up, and all I did was to endure and endure more. I had no outlet and have accumulated many resentments. Only this book knows my pain – I finally know why I suffered.”
The next day, Yuhan got out of the bed, as she had returned to her normal self. The first thing she did was to join a group exercise at a park.
The second week after Yuhan started practicing Falun Gong, her legs were swollen, so she couldn't wear shoes. Her brother, a doctor, believed it was honeycomb tissue inflammation. However, her symptoms were way different from a typical case of honeycomb tissue inflammation. Even when her legs were the most swollen and painful, the pain eased up within just a few hours. Her brother was baffled.
Soon Yuhan's legs were back to normal. The swelling in her face and body caused by steroid was also gone. She not only got back her slim figure, but also felt energetic as never before. She had a new outlook on life. Yuhan knew that her body had been purified, as described in Zhuan Falun. As if reborn in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, Yuhan now has a new body, a new soul, and a new self.
A Life Transformed
Because the constant fighting between my parents when growing up, I resented my family and had not spoken to my father for 20 years. I realized that it was not right after I started cultivating in Dafa. Zhuan Falun had taught her, “The entire cultivation process for a cultivator is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
“How could I cultivate while holding on to hatred and so many attachments?” she thought. “Slowly I dug into my childhood memories and looked inward for attachments. I finally realized that it was not my parents' fault; it was the hatred and resentment I harbored toward my parents growing up.”
“However much they didn't get along with one another, they worked hard and raised my brother and I. They didn't just give up. I tried hard to let go of my hatred, and let my thinking be as pure as a new born baby. After I relinquished my notions, things changed for the better. My parents were like angels to me, and I treated them well. The harmonious family life that only existed in movies finally happened for us, too.”
To her surprise, Yuhan and her younger brother's relationship also improved. “My brother was the pride of my parents, because he had always been at the top of his class. I felt inferior and very jealous. I always thought that he looked down on me, and often criticized me. We were enemies that always fought with each other as kids. We could never have a peaceful moment if we were both in the same room.
“As we got older, my brother and I didn't fight as much any more as he distanced himself. We never truly cared about each other until he witnessed how Dafa had changed me, so he started practicing Falun Dafa as well. We are very close now – he takes care of me, and and I also help him. We study the Fa together, share experiences, and help each other improve. I had never had such close relationship with him before.”
Having had removed the heavy shackles of short-temper, resentment, and negativity, Yuhan is now optimistic, kind, and healthy. She said, “I am truly thankful to Master. I feel that every obstacle in my life was thoughtfully arranged by Master to lead me to the Fa, and to prepare me so I could obtain the Fa.”
Yuhan now sees her struggling years before she cultivated as the best gift of her life.
Yuhan said, “Master arranged for me to obtain the Fa this way so I can share my story with others. I truly hope that more predestined people will learn that Falun Dafa is good!”