Awakening to My Attachments by Looking Inward
(Minghui.org) I am a 62-years-old practitioner, who has practiced Falun Dafa for over 20 years. I know for certain that I would not be alive if I didn't practice Dafa.
Interference: Attachment to Sleepiness
During the new year, my children and grandchildren visited me, stopping me from participating in the group Fa-study. I slacked off on my cultivation path. After doing the Dafa exercises in the morning, I had some leisure time before preparing for lunch, at which time I used to take a rest. I acted like this for more than half-a-month. My husband told me, “Sleep as much as you like, we can have lunch later.”
My husband's remark awakened me, and told me that something was wrong. It has been over 20 years on my cultivation path, and I have never been so sleepy.
When I was studying the Fa, I could not stop yawning. No matter if I was sitting, standing, or even when walking, I was sleepy. Therefore, I realized that I needed to look inward. I was shocked to find that my attachments to sleep and comfort had begun to overpower me, and gradually prevented me from studying the Fa diligently. If I didn't wake up, I would be destroyed. I couldn't let that happen!
Then, I started to send forth righteous thoughts more than at the appointed times, and asked Master to help me eliminate these attachments.
Rectifying Fa as I go, penetrating all layers of the cosmosAll choosing to oppose the rectification were eliminatedWhen Heaven wishes for change, who'd dare obstruct?The cosmos, now rebuilt, will never again turn bad (“Rectifying the Fa”, Hong Yin III)
I memorized the Fa, and no longer took a nap after the morning exercises, Gradually, I was no longer interfered with by sleepiness.
Eliminating the Attachment to Lust
My husband is not a practitioner. He watches television (TV) daily at a very high volume. I could hear the TV clearly in any room of our house. At the beginning, I didn't realize that it was an interference, thus I didn't do anything. Then, a voice appeared in my mind: “It is OK to watch TV for a few minutes.” Then I started to watch TV. At the beginning, I only watched 2-3 minutes, then 5-6 minutes, then 15 minutes, and my time of watching kept getting longer.
Watching the TV continued for half-a-month, but I did not realize it. Whenever my husband turned on the TV, I wanted to watch it too.
One day when I was studying the Fa, I put the Dafa book Zhuan Falun aside and started to watch TV. When I started reading Zhuan Falun again, I broke out in tears, and could not stop crying.
I kept asking myself, why did I cry? Why did I continue to watch TV? Why did I prefer watching TV to studying the Fa? The drama on TV was about young couples dating. I wondered if I hadn't really eliminated the attachment to lust 10 years ago.
Master said, “But I would urge you not to do that. The bad things you hear will pour in through your ears.” (The Sixth Talk,” Zhuan Falun)
I was shocked that I had not stopped watching TV, but was governed by my attachments. Then, I wondered why did I break out in tears – it must be a hint from Master. My true soul in the other dimension was worried. Thus, I had to study the Fa more, and eliminate the attachment to lust. Thus, I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts.
When I studied the Fa two days later, I no longer wanted to watch anything on TV. With Master's help, I eliminated the attachment to lust. Master said, “You put in the effort and your teacher will handle the rest.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Let Go of Attachment to Complaining
On my birthday several days ago, my three older sisters visited me. We were making dumplings and some other dishes. I also wanted to invite my younger brother and his wife to my birthday celebration, but my husband wouldn't let me. I had to put up with him.
My husband often abused and beat me during the past 20 years. Master said,
“For starters, a practitioner should be able to hold back from retaliating, and patiently endure. Anyone who succumbs to retaliating could hardly be called a practitioner.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“To really make the grade, you would have to not only keep your composure but also not let it get to you.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
My husband's birthday was a few days later. I gave him 200 yuan and told him to buy whatever he liked. However, he came back from the market with empty hands. So, I offered to make dumplings for him, but he had no appetite for dumplings. He suggested that he liked chicken wings, but they were too expensive. Since he had made a meal on my birthday, I decided to do that for him.
However, shortly after I left home, I felt that I couldn't move my legs, and couldn't breathe, so I stopped for a minute. After a few times of stopping and going, I was exhausted.
A voice whispered into my ears “He doesn't treat you well, doesn't help around the house, doesn't care about you, even worse, he often beats and curses at you. He treats you so bad, why do you still care for him, why do you buy food for him? A couple of days ago, your younger brother came and he didn't even let him into the house, aren't you angry?”
I told myself that these were not my thoughts. I started to send forth righteous thoughts. I told myself I was a Dafa practitioner, I shouldn't follow those bad thoughts, I must hold righteous thoughts.
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non Omission in Buddha Nature”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
As I kept walking, I tried to eliminate my attachment of complaining. No matter how he treated me, I shouldn't hate him, but make him understand the truth of Dafa.
“True cultivators have no illnesses” (“Explaining the Fa for Falun Dafa Assistants in Changchun”, Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
“We believe that one thought can determine the outcome of things, for better or for worse.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I knew that I was facing my attachment to complaining and hatred blocked my way. I had to eliminate these attachments. It was only a 10 minute walk from my home to the market, but it took me one-hour-and-a-half.
Let go of the Attachment to Hatred
Recently I listened to articles titled “Disintegration of Party Culture,” and “The Ultimate Goal of Communism.” Hatred was very vicious stuff, so I must eliminate it.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (Drive Out Interference”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I told my attachment to hatred, “Now, I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, I will follow the Dafa principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance, and be a genuine practitioner. ” I kept repeating this until noon. After lunch, all symptoms disappeared.
From then on, I kept on looking inward and found my true self. Master said,
“I’ll share the truth with you. When people don’t see the results they hope for, it’s because they are overemphasizing the physical aspect of spiritual practice, to the neglect of its moral component.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun).
When I studied the above Fa in the past, I often thought that I had no such problem. However, now I realize that I actually did have this problem, and I had hidden it deep within myself.
“In truth, the spiritual journey is none other than an ongoing process of learning to let go of the things of this world that we may be attached to.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Any attachment is an obstacle on our cultivation path. No matter what happens, or what we are thinking, we have to be steadfast and study the Fa diligently to be a genuine practitioner.