(Minghui.org) I am a young Dafa practitioner. I started cultivation practice at 13 and have been cultivating for 19 years.
Being Attached to the Ordinary World and Unable to Cultivate Solidly
I obtained the Fa shortly after my mother started to cultivate in 1999. I saw her hot temper greatly change; she became a kind and patient person. So I became determined to practice Dafa as well, and I also experienced significant changes, both physically and mentally. I got rid of all the medicine I took, and I could be tolerant when facing conflicts with classmates. My academic achievements also improved quickly.
When we were immersed in the joy of Dafa cultivation, the persecution suddenly began in July 1999. All the media were slandering Dafa. My mother and other fellow practitioners, who repeatedly went to the related governmental departments to appeal, were harassed, threatened, discriminated against, and persecuted. Although I also felt huge pressure, I never stopped cultivating and continued fulfilling the mission of a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period: helping to offer salvation to people.
As I was growing up, however, I was lured by all kinds of worldly temptations. I studied the Fa much less and only exercised on weekends. I was addicted to music, novels, and TV series. In the third year of high school, I even slacked off on my schoolwork, and I only did the three things required of practitioners when my mother urged me. I also knew it was not a good state for me, but I felt it was difficult to change.
I held onto the divine with one hand and worldly things with the other. I muddled along like that for quite a few years.
Passing Through a Test with a Firm Belief in Dafa
A few years ago, I experienced an improper physical state. I also felt a lot of pressures in my everyday work and had to take leave from my job and rest at home for six months. During that time, I began to memorize the Fa. I required myself to memorize at least two pages of Zhuan Falun and three poems in Hong Yin. I found that the paragraphs I memorized each day were exactly the Fa I needed to guide me to deal with my xinxing problems at the same time. The more Fa I memorized, the more enriched I felt. Later on, I found a Dafa project that was suitable for me. Both my mother and I were practicing cultivation in a stable way every day during that time.
That stable status, however, was forcibly interrupted when we were arrested. I kept reciting Lunyu and sending forth righteous thoughts during the arrest and at the police station. Fear, however, constantly appeared in my mind.
When they were bringing me from the police station to a brainwashing center, I really began to get scared: Will they torture me? Will they force me to give information about other practitioners? Master Li's words suddenly entered into my mind,
“Should you have fear,it will seize upon youIf thoughts are righteous,evil will collapse”(“What’s to Fear?” Hong Yin Volume II, Translation Version A)
I immediately told myself, “I'm Master Li Hongzhi's disciple, no one can harm me.” In the evening, they tried to force me to give detailed information about what my mother and I were doing. They threatened that they would never release me unless I gave them what they wanted. I refused to answer their questions; I was firm and determined. They decided to continue talking to me the next day.
Deep into the night, I shed tears and begged Master to save me: “Master, this is not the place where I should stay. My mother is still in jail, and I must get out to rescue her. I swear not to betray Dafa or fellow practitioners; please strengthen me!”
The next morning, I asked to talk with officers from the 610 Office and officials of the Political and Legal Affairs Committee of my own initiative. I explained the changes that my mother and I experienced after we started practicing Falun Dafa, and declared that I would never give up my belief. I asked them to release me immediately. At first, they were not receptive, then bit by bit they changed and said they would think about my request. During the process, I kept on reciting the Fa in my heart:
“The falun will protect those who genuinely do our practice. My roots are planted in this universe, and so someone would have to be able to harm me in order to harm you, which means that they would have to have the power to harm this universe.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I also sent forth righteous thoughts for a great deal of time. As a result, they released me on the morning of the third day.
After I went back home and saw the empty rooms. I was overwhelmed by missing and worrying about my mother. I had never been separated from my mother; she prepared meals, led me to study the Fa, shared with me at night, and took me out to clarify the truth. Was she being tortured in prison? Was she doing a hunger strike? The words of the police officers were reverberating in my brain: “Your mother took all the responsibility on herself just to protect you. But you dare not to admit anything!”
I couldn't sleep the whole night and begged Master again, “Please help me, I really can't let go of sentiment for my mother!” As I kept begging Master, I gradually felt that my sentimentality for her was becoming lighter. A thought entered my mind, “We are all Master's disciples. The firmer we are during a tribulation, the easier Master can help. The tribulation is testing whether we can let go of attachments.” I suddenly realized it was the old forces that utilized my loophole of attachment to sentiment to wear down my will. I could not be tricked by them! Then I forced myself to study the Fa and read aloud. I felt my heart becoming calmer and calmer!
Looking Inward: the Situation Changed as My Mind Changed
Some of my other xinxing issues were seriously interfering with me. One was resentment. Some fellow practitioners said to me, “Maybe your mother had attachments of fear, selfishness, etc.” I felt resentment in my heart about those comments: “You should help by going to the police station to request the release of my mother and concentrate on sending forth righteous thoughts for her. With such negative thoughts, how can you concentrate?
“Furthermore, Master said every practitioner should look inward, why do you always look at others?” Another xinxing issue was jealousy. I thought, “My mother and I were both diligent during the past six months. Why did we have to suffer this, yet those who are not diligent have no problems?”
Fortunately, two practitioners reminded me at that time to study the Fa more and look inward to let go of my attachments of resentment and jealousy. I calmed down and focused on Fa study. I realized that I should look inward unconditionally. All the negative comments were to remind me to let go of sentimentality for my mother. Sentimentality is unstable and should be replaced with compassion. As for the tribulation we came across, Master explained it in Zhuan Falun:
“It is precisely when evil intervenes in your life that you can demonstrate your spiritual resolve, your discernment, your ability to stay on track, and your commitment to one practice. The spiritual journey tries men’s souls, and only the most devout make it through.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
When I let go of my attachments, the situation changed. Many fellow practitioners took turns sending forth righteous thoughts for my mother. Through sharing we also reached a common understanding that the persecution of my mother was not her own issue; that we should form a whole body and deny the old forces' persecution with our righteous thoughts.
Some practitioners collected the names and phone numbers of the perpetrators responsible for the persecution of my mother and published them on the Minghui website. Some encouraged me to persuade my family members who were non-practitioners to participate in the rescue as well.
When I knew that my mother was staying solid in cultivation and clarified the truth in the detention center, I entirely gave up all my worries. I knew she was doing things in line with Master's requirements and would get out soon. Less than one month later, she broke out of that black den with her righteous thoughts; the form it took was the illusion of illness karma.
This is the final period of Fa-rectification. I still have many attachments that need to be relinquished. Only by grasping this last chance and strictly requiring myself to think and act in line with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, can I return to my home in heaven with Master!
