My Mother Stopped Berating Me after I Eliminated Resentment
(Minghui.org) My mother, who is now 72, was in the first year of high school when the Cultural Revolution started. She was a member of the Red Guards and went to live in the countryside like many other young people at that time. Her mind was full of the ideology of struggle espoused by communism.
When I was a child, my parents often quarreled. My mother’s voice was high-pitched, very strong, and her words were mean. My father didn't answer her back. My mother was very strict and used mean words to scold me and my brother and sister. Even when I was young, I really didn't like my mother's strength. I became tired of her, looked down on her, and even hated her.
After becoming a practitioner of Falun Dafa, I always did my best to take care of my mother. After graduating college and getting a job, I took over 100,000 yuan that I had saved and bought a new house for my mother. I didn’t let my brother and sister contribute a penny for the house or renovation. I cooked three meals each day, washed dishes, and did all of the housework. I never asked my mom to pick my child up from kindergarten, I bought gifts for her on the holidays, and I took care of her when she was sick.
However, my mother could be picky about trivial things. Sometimes I even had to endure her scolding me. For example, I occasionally overcooked the eggs. The edge of the egg yolk was a little gray outside, very light gray. You could hardly see it. My mother would get very angry, saying that the egg yolk was gray and poisonous, and that this would affect her health and mental clarity. Then she would say that I didn't care about her and resent me for a long time. I did so much for her but she would say that I treated her very badly.
I wondered why my mother said that, even though I took good care of her and had endured her scolding me. My friends even suggested that I move away from her.
I carefully looked at my thoughts about my mother. I found that I hadn't let go of the resentment I felt toward her and still looked down on her. I hadn't cultivated goodness and compassion, so I only tolerated my mother, but still felt annoyed with her. When she talked to me, I was impatient, didn’t follow her suggestions, and didn’t like to hear what she said. Taking care of my mother was done superficially, and not from the bottom of my heart, and she could feel this.
“Also, the beings you save when you clarify the facts and save sentient beings aren't ordinary human beings. Behind every person there are extensive and deeper cosmic ties. So what you're saving isn't that one person, and it's quite possibly a gigantic group of beings, or even a gigantic group of beings at very high levels. I've said that none of what's been bestowed upon and entrusted to Dafa disciples is simple—it's all really magnificent.” (Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Midwest-U.S. Fa Conference)
I was really touched by Master's words. Sentient beings came here to learn the Fa. My mother also came for the Fa. I should let my mother see the beauty of Dafa so she and her corresponding beings would be saved by Dafa and not miss this important opportunity.
I came to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. How could I not eliminate resentment toward my mother? If I couldn’t behave properly, how could I show sentient beings the beauty of Dafa? I was ashamed to face Master.
I knew I had to change myself fundamentally. I should always be considerate of my mother. I should do what Master requires:
“… attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism”. (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Suddenly, all the resentment and dissatisfaction I had for my mother were melted away by the principles of Dafa and Master's compassion.
After letting go of the resentment and dissatisfaction, I became more tolerant of my mother. I understood that she had lived a difficult life during the Cultural Revolution. Her mind was full of atheism and thoughts about struggle that had been instilled by the evil party. She was actually a victim. By identifying my faults, she was helping me to eliminate karma.
She was uncomfortable because she sensed that I was very bitter in my heart. The human world is full of contradiction. Everyone is fighting for a little profit because they don't know the Fa. I also used to be a person who fought for profits before I followed Dafa's principles.
After all, my mother is over seventy. Although she has no serious illness, she is still in pain every day. When people are old, they worry about who will take care of them if they get sick. They hope someone will keep them company and chat with them. Everyone likes to listen to kind words.
I should care more about her, care for her, and tolerate her, not just buy food and cook for her.
So I changed my behavior. I got up early, washed my mother's cup and filled it with boiled water so she could drink it when she got up. I asked her what she liked to eat and how she wanted her meals prepared. Then I prepared her meals according to her preferences. Occasionally, when the dishes I made weren't good, I ate them myself and let my mother have something she liked.
When I got up in the morning I mopped the floor and cleaned the house so that my mother had a clean environment. I also changed her sheets regularly. While she brushed her teeth in the morning, I made her bed. I would polish her shoes if I saw they were dirty, so there was no need for her to bend over and take care of them. I took the initiative to chat with my mother when I got home every day, listening carefully to her joys and grievances.
My mother had planted some green onions. One day, when she was not at home, I needed green onions for the meal I was making and I pulled them out and used them. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. In the past, she might swear at and nag me for a week. However, on that day, when my mother came back home she said, “You are getting so good now. I can't find fault with you anymore.” I was happy too, and quickly apologized for using all her onions.
I am grateful to Master for giving me Dafa, teaching and inspiring me to be a good person, turning me from a selfish person who fought for fame, profit and greed, into a considerate and broad-mind person who is frank, indifferent to fame and fortune, and hardworking.