Getting Rid of the Attachment to Fame
(Minghui.org) During my childhood, I was timid and cowardly. I hesitated to argue with others, and I usually felt unfairly treated and angry inside for many days.
As a result, I suffered headaches, insomnia, dreaminess, palpitations and low energy. However, I started to cultivate Falun Dafa in 1999, and all my illnesses vanished. I became open, compassionate, kind to others. People praised me, and I was happy.
Everyday people are full of desire for fame, self-interest and sentimentality. As practitioners, we should let those attachments go. Instead, we should have compassion. Looking within myself, I found that I did not have the attachment to fame, but I was definitely attached to self-interest and sentimentality.
Upon realizing this, I was happy that I only needed to get rid of these two attachments. However, in reality, the situation turned out to be quite different from what I'd originally imagined.
I was laid off and became a cleaner to make ends meet. In the beginning, there were not many houses to clean, and I usually finished my work early and helped others. We worked well together, and our boss was very happy with us. As the weather improved, more people moved in and began to renovate their homes.
We got busier, and our cleaning teams increased to ten people. Soon the work environment deteriorated: some people always defended the team lead to gain favor, some bribed the team lead with dinners and gifts, and some schemed to undermine others. As a result, the team lead started looking out only for her own self-interest. However, as a practitioner, I acted according to my understanding of Dafa.
I cleaned my area thoroughly, and residents spoke highly of my work. I was never jealous of my coworkers who knew how to please the team lead and were favored by her as a result.
I never complained that I did more work than others, which was tiring. I understood the principle of no loss, no gain, and I understood that a good person should do their work well.
Our boss was livid at a meeting one day. She said that the unit I took care of was dirty, as if it hadn't been cleaned for several days. She fined me fifty yuan and then praised one of my coworkers for doing well.
I was shocked since I'd cleaned this unit more frequently than the other units. The owners of the unit were renovating, so I cleaned the unit several times a day.
I explained to my boss but she said the handrail of the staircase had dust on it, which meant I hadn't cleaned it for many days. I looked at her angry face and my team lead's happy expression; I understood that it was pointless to explain.
I felt I was treated unfairly, and resentment, self-interest, and competitiveness started growing in my heart. I wanted to argue with my team lead and coworkers, and I wanted to expose their plot. However, I controlled myself.
Nevertheless, my pain and resentment did not diminish as time went by. Instead, I felt a growing sense of unfairness.
My boss had always been satisfied with my work, and I was a good worker in everybody's eyes. But now I had been fined and accused of not performing well. I could not accept it. I was really mad and could not focus when studying the Fa.
One day, I read Master's teaching:
“Cultivation is something you do right in the thick of tribulations. They'll test whether you can sever your emotions and desires, and they'll see if you can take them lightly. If you're attached to those things you won't be able to finish your cultivation.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I am a Dafa practitioner. Which of my attachments did I need to let go of: resentment, competitiveness, or self-interest?
I thought to myself, “I don't want these attachments. I will correct myself with the Fa.” After having this thought, I no longer felt as bad as before.
However, I still felt heavy, as if a rock was pressing against my heart. I asked myself what was happening. Did I care so much about the fifty yuan that I was fined? No. If I were praised that day instead, would I have been so happy for so many days? The answer was no. So, what was the matter? I realized that I had become attached to fame.
“Yes, that’s it,” I realized. I felt sad because I was criticized in front of others. The rock pressing against my heart flew away, and my heart became bright.
My previous understanding of the attachments of fame, self-interest, and sentimentality were superficial. I did indeed have an attachment to fame, and it was very strong.
I remembered what Master said:
“Its broad and immense, profound inner meaning can only manifest itself to, and be experienced and understood by, practitioners who are at different levels of true cultivation. Only then can one truly see what the Fa is.” (“Broad and Immense,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Only when we cultivate away our attachments in the Fa and elevate our xinxing can we truly experience the beauty of cultivation, that it is supernatural, and that it brings people a light heart, and happiness.
My heart became totally calm. The resentment in my heart was replaced with understanding and tolerance.
Looking within is a treasure that Master bestowed upon us. I used the treasure and experienced the beauty of forbearing others.
Such a state cannot be achieved by just talking or imagining. It can only be achieved by truly cultivating based on the Fa. It is the natural outcome when one upgrades their xinxing and elevates their realm, and it is because the Fa is magnificent.
I still have so many attachments. I am willing to get rid of them and return home with Master.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!