Letting Go of Resentment

(Minghui.org) I was moved by a practitioner's sharing on Minghui.org about overcoming sickness karma by looking within. I would like to share my experience regarding this issue as well.

I suddenly experienced sickness karma a few years ago. I felt very weak, had difficulty breathing, and tachycardia. My leg was also swollen and I had a hard time getting out of bed.

I realized that I had not cultivated solidly over the past few years. Looking within, I found that I had many human attachments. The more I thought about my situation, the more anxious I became. I didn't know what to do since all I could think about was not damaging Dafa's reputation.

Despite my predicament, I kept one righteous thought: “Turn it around by studying the Fa more with a calm mind.” As I diligently studied the Fa, Master gave me a hint to not think too much, to focus on what I could see around me, and use it as a mirror to look within. My heart finally calmed down, as being anxious was also an attachment.

I am a housewife and I spend most of my days with my family. So, my family environment reflected my cultivation state. When I saw where they fell short, I looked within for the same issue and corrected myself accordingly. After cultivating myself like this, my health improved, except that my body was still slightly swollen.

I thought about the practitioners I knew who had passed away due to sickness karma. They shared a common issue in that they all held a grudge. They blamed others for not treating them well, and complained about being wronged by their husbands. They all had edema somewhere in their body, along with other symptoms. For some, the edema went away only after they had let go resentment. As soon as they developed a grudge, their bodies would immediately swell again.

I looked within to see if I still harbored resentment. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it and cleanse myself. During this process, Master allowed me to see a black substance leaving my body and dispersing. I knew that I had found the cause of my sickness karma.

I often criticized my family or other people whenever their words didn't please me. My family members said that I was fond of ordering others around and always talked down to others.

I complained to my mother for spoiling and never disciplining me as a child. As a result, I became a person who was attached to food, disliked working, and had no sense of responsibility. It was her fault that I now had a hard time persevering in doing the exercises every day. I also complained that she was doing the same thing to her granddaughter.

It was always someone else's fault. I failed to realize that as a cultivator, I could rid myself of my bad habits. I blamed my mother all the time when I called her. I didn't care about other people’s feelings. The old forces thus took advantage of my loophole and persecuted me with sickness karma.

Clearly seeing all of my bad habits, I corrected them one by one, and my physical condition improved more and more. When I failed to discipline myself, however, my body immediately swelled. When I corrected myself, the edema would disappear.