Difficulty of Letting Go of Sexual Attraction and Desire
(Minghui.org) In a 16th century novel, written during the Ming dynasty, “The Investiture of the Gods,” Jiang Zi Ya ordered to decapitate the thousand-year-old fox spirit Daji, the jade-made pipa spirit and the nine-headed pheasant. Soldiers obeyed the order and executed the jade pipa spirit and the nine-headed pheasant. However, the soldiers who were supposed to execute the fox spirit Daji were so enchanted by the vixen that they simply could not take her life. In the end, Jiang Zi Ya had to draw his weapon to behead the fox spirit Daji. From this story it becomes evident that bewitching people with a beautiful appearance is indeed a very serious matter.
Attachment to Lust: Manipulated by Poisonous Atheism
I was deeply shocked by a sharing article published on the Chinese language Minghui website that addressed the attachments of sexual attraction and desire. It reminded me of how I was previously beholden to these attachments. For example, I often failed to handle myself properly, and even though I tried various ways to control myself, the effect was nominal.
I thought that there was hardly any difference between myself and those soldiers who were bewitched by the fox spirit Daji. At that time, I was not only unable to reject and eliminate the demon of lust, I also felt pity for it. As a result, I became very weak when the demon of lust came to interfere with me. I didn't feel any fear or pain or pressure; instead I found the experience very comfortable and enjoyable. I later realized that the reason I could not reject it was because I could not see through its true nature, and was enchanted by its false appearance. I was manipulated by poisonous atheism and the bad notions I had developed in today's human society and many previous lives. I was “willingly” accepting it.
“Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome. [Those people are] driven by human feelings and emotions way too much.” (Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western Fa Conference)
One major reason I was interfered with by the demon of lust for a long time was because I could not make up my mind to eliminate it.
I recently took a close look at myself and searched inward. I found that I had been driven and enchanted by the “beautiful” falsehood cultivated by human feelings and emotions for a long time. Driven by the attachment to comfort, I indulged in sensual pleasure, and took it as a form of enjoyment. As a result, I was not only unable to eliminate it, but also willingly pursued the sensual pleasure, and went along with it.
Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I indulged in pornographic books and magazines. I found that by doing so I could forget the pain and sorrow I experienced as a member of today's society, and it brought me some mental comfort. So I madly pursued those things as a way to escape and to cope with the pain and hardships of life. I now understand that the so-called “pleasure” and “comfort” are actually illusions, the same as smoking and drug addiction. They only differ in form.
Controlled by Evil Spirits
I further realized that, in fact, it is not the human beings who are pursuing those feelings, but the evil spirits in other dimensions that control the physical bodies of human beings so that they can take their essence and blood to replenish their own energy. In some cases, it is those whom people had owed debts in past lives that are pushing bad thoughts into people's minds, encouraging them to do bad things. Their purpose is to drag them to hell, so as to get revenge for the pain they had caused them in former lives.
People cannot distinguish between them, however. If cultivators are not diligent in cultivation, and instead hold on to human attachments, they cannot tell the difference when trapped in human sentiments and emotions.
I thought if the demon of lust showed its true image, which is scary, dirty, and disgusting, would I want it? Absolutely not! But it often comes to you with a beautiful appearance, as someone you would admire, love, and enjoy the company of, someone who is extremely nice and caring. It is very difficult for people to say no to someone like this. When cultivators are not diligent, they cannot handle themselves properly when they lose control of their minds, and pursue comfort and pleasure.
Captivated by False Appearances
I remember another story, in which a Daoist priest gave a scholar a magic mirror. One side of the mirror showed a scary-looking demon, while the other side showed a beautiful and gracious lady. The Daoist priest told the scholar that he could only look at one side of the mirror. However, out of curiosity, the scholar looked at both sides of the mirror and was bewitched by the beautiful lady. In the end, he died from sexual exhaustion.
My understanding is that both sides of the mirror were actually the same thing, with the demon being its nature and the beautiful lady its false appearance. If the scholar had known the truth he would not have become confused. Because he could not see through the demon nature due to interference from sexual attraction and desire and his attachment to comfort, he pursued such pleasure instead of rejecting and eliminating the demon of lust.
I realize that our attachments to fame, personal gains, and sentiments, and our slacking off in cultivation are all based on a huge substance of selfishness, which encourages us to go after temporary comfort and pleasure, with little concern for the well-being of the countless sentient beings in our universe. I recall that when I was interfered with by sexual attraction and desire, I became restless and irritable, and I found it difficult to control myself, with a deep sense of loss and hopelessness.
Remorse and Understanding Brings Change
I felt extremely remorseful when I truly realized what was happening, and was determined to rectify myself. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Master to strengthen me, so I could eliminate all interference and evil factors affecting me, as well as the old forces and their evil arrangements. I suddenly then felt a powerful energy erupting from inside of my body, endless and boundless.
I now realize that it is actually quite easy to clean out the demon of lust with the side of us that has assimilated to the Fa, because what we have assimilated to is the mighty Fa of the universe and its power is boundless, while the demonic stuff consists only of degenerated substances within the three realms.
The key problem is that my human side was confused by the demon of lust and I felt it to be “pitiful,” and tried to protect it and nurture it. This blocked my true nature and stopped me from eliminating it. For many years, I found it difficult to get rid of the demon that aimed to destroy me. I now realize that it was not hard to relinquish sexual attraction and desire, but I just was too captivated by it.
I have seen in reality that the demon of lust interferes with people regardless of their age or gender. The evil will stop at nothing to take advantage of their loopholes in any Dafa practitioner, if they have such attachments, and enlarge them as much as possible. The old forces have used sexual attraction and desire as a tactic to destroy sentient beings and Dafa disciples, and to sabotage and interfere with the Fa-rectification.
Looking Within Turns Into a Magical Weapon
My experience is that when we are interfered with we must not accept it, and refuse to fall into its trap. Even if we are unable to deny the evil arrangements of the old forces for a while, we must not be bogged down with self-pity, depression, or self-loathing, and allow it to control and torture us. We must truly look within and distinguish it from us and bravely expose it. By doing so, we will be able to eliminate a lot of karma and evils that were attracted to us. Our attachment to face-saving is an ideal hiding place for evils, which would accumulate more and more to the point when we are no longer able to repel them.
I recently found that when I regard myself as a cultivator and am determined to eliminate the attachment of sexual attraction and desire, I am no longer easily distracted by attractive women wearing revealing clothes.
I often think, “This is a test and I must not be moved. There must be evil beings behind this person. I must not be affected and I must send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil demons that destroy people by taking advantage of their attachment to lust.”
I found that each time I acted this way, I had compassion in my heart. These days, when I look at someone who might have stirred my sexual desire in the past, I feel as if I am looking at a rock or a piece of wood, and they are just so far away from me. I truly have the feeling of seeing without looking.
I have come to the understanding that as long as we truly want to let go of sexual attraction and desire through cultivation, are determined to get rid of the attachment, and if we truly want to elevate in Dafa, Master can do anything for us.