The Story of My Mother-in-Law and Me
(Minghui.org) I have practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years and would like to share the story of my mother-in-law and me.
The Tough Life I Once Had
For as long as I can remember, I frequently had headaches and a cough. During the change of season, my stomach hurt a lot, and I had severe headaches with a high fever. After I graduated from middle school, I had heart problems accompanied by pain, low blood sugar, low blood pressure, and severe allergic asthma. Due to a congenital tail vertebrae dislocation, I had severe pain; it was impossible for me to sit normally, and instead I had to lean forward.
As a result, I became more eccentric, and my temperament became more and more petulant and irritable. My parents worried that I might not be able to get married. When I did get engaged, my parents didn't support my decision at first because his family was particularly poor and lived about 200 kilometers away from my family. However, after considering my health, my parents finally agreed.
We were engaged in March, and I was pregnant in August, yet we still hadn’t obtained a marriage certificate. I discussed with my husband that we have a wedding ceremony in December. The wedding banquet was held at my parents' house, and my husband's family would not spend any money to attend. We lived in a small servant's room at my parents' house; it was so small that we could only fit a full-sized bed in it. At that time, I had not yet met my mother-in-law.
In May, I gave birth to a boy. A few months later, my mother-in-law came to visit. She was not very happy. She said, “It’s a boy again. Your eldest sister-in-law has three big boys. Your second sister-in-law has two boys, and you have one more. I don’t have a granddaughter.”
Since I was pregnant before being married, my husband didn't offer betrothal gifts. I felt I couldn't lift my head in front of my husband's family. Although his parents' financial situation was not good, they still looked down on me. After my mother-in-law came, she often intentionally or unintentionally talked about her two elder sons' weddings. I felt inferior, yet I tolerated her. How did I get into such a situation? Where did my self-esteem go?
At that time, my husband’s salary was not high, and we could only just make ends meet. He didn't even earn enough money for our son to see a doctor. Therefore, in the second year after my son’s birth, I had to go to work to earn more money to support my family. We sent our son to my mother-in-law's home and asked her to look after him. Even though the weather was getting cold, I worked ten hours a day in a vegetable garden to earn six yuan per day. But still, it was an income! I often held my son's picture when I went to sleep, and when I woke up, my pillow was wet with tears.
Practicing Dafa Changed Me
About a month later, someone told me about a local Falun Gong class. I said, “Isn't Falun Gong a qigong? I don't practice qigong. I don't want to learn it. I don't want to cure my illness. No one can cure my illness.” But that person said, “Falun Gong is different from other qigong. Let's try it! If you really don't think it's good, you can leave.”
When I did decide to go, I couldn’t because I became busy with something else for three days. My stubborn temperament showed itself: “Nothing I do is smooth. This time, I am determined to participate in the Falun Gong class. No one can stop me!” On the fourth morning, while it was still dark, I went to the class to learn the exercises. At that time, I didn’t have money to buy the book, Zhuan Falun, so I borrowed a copy. When I read the teachings in the book, I was shocked: “This is a heavenly book of cultivation! I must learn it!”
My husband was very sympathetic and supportive. Although we didn't have any money, I had just enough to buy the Dafa book. When I wanted Master's portrait, I also had just enough money. I also wanted to buy a tape recorder to play Master's Fa teachings. My husband rode a bike and purchased one for me, having just enough money. The saying “utterly destitute” was not even sufficient to describe our situation at the time.
Since then, I have been doing things according to the requirements of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. When working at the vegetable garden, I did the laborious and dirty jobs that others didn't want to do. I worked overtime when no one else wanted to. Even though I was paid only six yuan per day, I didn't take any tomatoes or cucumbers for myself when picking the vegetables. The supervisor knew I was reliable and honest, so he often assigned me to pick the vegetables.
I also became more tolerant. For example, one day I was selling vegetables at the market, and the accountant said that I had made a mistake by giving 50 yuan in change to a relative of mine who came to buy vegetables. He said he was certain about it and asked me how to proceed. I was very calm at the time and said with a gentle obstinacy, “First, I did not give extra money to anyone, no matter who the person was. Second, if you insist that I gave away money by mistake, I will pay back what was lost.” Although I earned only six yuan a day, because I learned Dafa, I needed to be a good person.
Hearing what I said, the supervisor and colleagues present said that the accountant must have made a mistake, that no such thing would happen, and that I had been wronged. The accountant did not say anything. The incident was over. Afterwards, the village official verified the matter. When leaving, the official said that Falun Gong practitioners were different from others.
After I started practicing Falun Gong, I stopped taking medicine, and without realizing it, my health got better and better. I was very energetic. I knew that Master had eliminated my karma. My husband said happily, “This Falun Gong is really good. You keep practicing it diligently!”
Relationship Between My Mother-in-Law and Me
In the summer of 1997, my husband and I went to see our two-year-old child at my mother-in-law's house. The child didn't even recognize me. I was really sad and lost my appetite. I had suffered so much for my child, and now he didn't recognize me. My mother-in-law saw that I was unhappy, so she got upset and started shouting and cursing me. She demanded that my husband divorce me. The child was very scared and started crying. I calmly said to my husband, “If you want to come with me and our son, I will wait for you for ten minutes; you go and get your belongings. If you don't want to come, we will leave. My husband said with tears in his eyes, “Wait for me.”
I forgot that I was a practitioner at that time and didn't maintain my xinxing. When I got home, my husband repeatedly apologized to me. I also regretted that I didn't pass the xinxing test.
A long time later, I read an experience-sharing article in Minghui Weekly. The content of the article was similar to the situation between my mother-in-law and me, but the conflict was even more intense, the time lasted longer, and the grievances were even deeper. However, with hints from Master, the practitioner calmly let go of human attachments and took the initiative to resolve the conflict with her mother-in-law. Since then, their family relationship had been harmonious.
I read the article with tears in my eyes. It was already five o'clock in the morning. I woke my husband up and read the article to him. He didn't say anything after listening. I said, “Look at this practitioner's cultivation level and how well she did! I handled it so much worse. I am wrong. I should find an opportunity to go back and apologize to my mother-in-law!”
At that time, I had a much better job that also earned more, although it was many times more difficult than my old garden job. That winter, my husband’s nephew was getting married, and the elder sister-in-law invited us to attend the wedding. My husband did not accept the invitation right away and said he would discuss it with me first. I said, “Of course we'll go. Besides, I have to apologize to my mother-in-law. Let's go.” He was quite moved.
Because the bride was from the same village, the people who attended the wedding knew each other well. The village was not big, and everyone had heard about the conflict between me and my mother-in-law. They were all saying that I would not come. After we entered the house, the villagers at the scene gave me an approving glance, nodded, and said hello to me.
This incident caused a sensation, especially for my mother-in-law, who said in tears, “When your two elder sisters-in-law got married, I prepared everything for them. When you got married, I was old, I couldn’t work anymore, and I couldn’t give you anything. I am sorry!”
I said, “Mom, you have given me your son. I don't want anything else.”
Through this incident, my husband’s sisters valued me a lot. On my 36th birthday, they took the train to our house to celebrate my birthday. The oldest of them was one year older than my father. They admired the greatness of Dafa, supported my practice, and said that they would tell all their daughters-in-law to learn Dafa.
We bought a new house and didn’t ask for a penny from my parents-in-law or my parents. We earned our own living. In their words, “Our life was really blooming.” My relationship with my husband was also harmonious, and they were relieved.
We also started helping my parents-in-law as much as possible. Several elder aunts witnessed what we did and said that I was a kind person.
My relationship with my mother-in-law became warm. When we went to visit her, she was waiting in front of the door. When I stepped out of the car, she said with a smile, “You finally came!” Her son-in-law smiled and said, “Mother-in-law only likes you!”
I have told her about Dafa many times over the years. She came to understand the goodness of Dafa and its founder. She also saw that I was doing my best to be a good person. She often told people who came to her home, “My youngest daughter-in-law is a Dafa practitioner!”
On the winter solstice of 2016, I learned that my mother-in-law was critically ill and in the hospital. The next day, we rushed to the hospital to find all three of her daughters there. They said that she had been in the hospital for a few days but was out of danger and needed time to recover.
When she saw me enter the room, she immediately sat up and was in good spirits. She began to eat and drink again and said that she felt good and wanted to be discharged immediately. I asked my sisters to go home and rest and allow me to take care of my mother-in-law. They said, “No, you just got off the train. You need to rest first and then come back tomorrow.” I said from my heart, “I came here to look after my mother-in-law. You are all in your 60s. You must be tired!”
In the evening, I rested on a lounge chair in the ward, which was on the opposite side of my mother-in-law's bed. I could see her with the light from the corridor. I didn't dare to close my eyes, fearing that she would need to use the restroom at night. She thought I was asleep and got out of bed quietly. I immediately got up to help her and went to the restroom with her. She said, “I want you to sleep and didn't want to wake you up!” I said, “I wasn’t sleeping at all. I kept looking at you!” She smiled.
I didn't sleep that night, and the second sister came to deliver breakfast in the morning. My mother-in-law told her what had happened during the night, and the second sister said that I was really good. In the afternoon, I said, “Let me wash your socks and then wash your feet again. You'll feel a little more comfortable.” She refused and said her socks were too dirty. I said: “No problem. I just want to make you feel a little more comfortable.” She agreed.
An elderly lady in the same ward said, “Is this your little daughter? She's nice!” The second sister said, “The daughter is standing here! She is the daughter-in-law!” The elderly lady said to my mother-in-law, “You are really blessed! My daughter-in-law hasn’t come to the hospital to visit me yet!”
After my mother-in-law recovered, her family members all said that a person who practices Dafa is truly different from an average person. My husband said to me, “You practice diligently! I’m counting on you and will get blessings!”
My mother-in-law is now 88 years old. Last year, we gave her a jade bracelet as a birthday gift. She was very happy and said, “I saw other elderly ladies wearing one. I didn’t expect to have one myself.” She liked it very much.