Balancing Family Relationships Well
(Minghui.org) As Dafa practitioners, we are well aware of the importance of balancing family relationships well.
Master Li Hongzhi said,
“If you can help your family members to start cultivating, that’s best of course. But if they can’t cultivate, then you have to ensure that they are beings who can be saved, and at a minimum, be good people so that they may enjoy good rewards one day.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
Grandson Practices Dafa
After my wife and I began to practice Falun Dafa, our daughter decided to become a practitioner in 2000. She asked that we babysit for her child who was about a year old. It was not easy, as the child was thin and sickly. We agreed to babysit, because a practitioner should be considerate of others, and the child may have a predestined relationship with us.
My grandson memorized Hong Yin when he was four years old. His true cultivation began when he turned five.
When in first grade, he experienced an illness tribulation, by coming down with a dangerously high fever for about four days. He slept all day. My wife and I, along with another practitioner, sat next to him and sent forth righteous thoughts, studied the Fa, and searched inside for attachments for a whole night. We noticed that we held fear, including fear of being criticized by his father.
“Yet for cultivators, fear or lack thereof proves [one's] humanity or divinity, and it is what differentiates cultivators from ordinary people. It is something that a cultivator must face, and the biggest human attachment that a cultivator must remove.” (Study the Fa Well, and Getting Rid of Attachments is Not Hard)
We identified our attachments, and with Master's help, my grandson recovered from his sickness tribulation by the time his father arrived.
When he was in the third grade, my wife was illegally detained at a local police station for talking to people about Falun Dafa. I took him with me to the police station when demanding my wife's release.
“You even taught such a young child to practice the exercises,” screamed a policeman. “You really have some nerve!” I replied, “We are his grandparents. How could we ask him to do bad things? This practice benefits us, and harms no one.” The policeman did not say another word.
My wife was later taken to a forced labor camp, and I took the child when I visited her twice. The child had a strong will and never shed tears. Before leaving, he waved goodbye with his little hand.
Son-in-law Changed Attitude
My son-in-law could not understand my wife's imprisonment. He tried many ways to force my daughter to give up her belief. He knelt down and begged her, cried hard, threatened to kill her, and he also threatened to divorce her. He called me on the phone and asked to turn over his son to him.
I told my daughter to stay calm, look within, and send righteous thoughts, after which her husband calmed down. I have always firmly believed in Master and the Fa, and never stopped my grandson from studying the Fa and practicing the exercises.
My son-in-law witnessed that practitioners are kind and broadminded. Gradually, he changed his attitude. He went to the forced labor camp to visit my wife. He began to accept Dafa and agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations. He also carried a Dafa amulet in his wallet.
My Son and Family Began to Practice Dafa
My son started to practice Dafa in 1999. His father-in-law believed the CCP's lies and could not accept the truth about Dafa. My son's wife also was not clear about Falun Dafa. His mother-in-law had many kinds of ailments and had a Bodhisattva statue in their home. Although she burned incense in front of the statue all the time, she did not recover from her illnesses.
My wife and I realized that Master arranged for us to form a cultivation group that included all these people. My son clarified the truth about Dafa to his mother-in-law and convinced her to remove the Bodhisattva statue, gave her Zhuan Falun and taught her the exercises. After two months of practicing Dafa, his mother-in-law recovered from her ailments. My son then took this opportunity to further explain the facts about Dafa to his wife and her father, and they also began to practice.
Experiencing Dafa's Power
My daughter-in-law gave birth to a little girl. When this child was one year old, she appeared to have come down with pneumonia. She coughed, threw up, and had a high fever.
My wife, son, his wife, his mother-in-law, and I took care of the child. We studied the Fa for half an hour, sent forth righteous thoughts for half an hour, and then repeated this pattern over and over.
Close to morning, my granddaughter had sweated a lot, and stopped gasping for air. Her high fever was gone. She drank some water, after which she had recovered. We experienced the power of Dafa.
Over the years we also took care of our granddaughter. Some fellow practitioners said we had too heavy of an emotional attachment to our family. They said that doing the three things each day was making us busy enough, yet we still cooked for our children, which they thought was not aligned with the Fa. A practitioner said, “Emotion is hard to sever during cultivation.”
“Of course, while we’re cultivating in the ordinary world we’re supposed to respect our parents and be good to them, just as we should teach our kids and discipline them. In every situation we should be good to others and be kind to people, let alone your family members. We should treat everyone the same, be good to our parents and our kids, and always be considerate of others. Then your heart isn’t a selfish one when you do that, but a compassionate one—it’s compassion. Emotion is the stuff of ordinary people. They just live for emotion.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Based on Master's Fa, we realized that our family was not an ordinary family – it was also a group of Dafa practitioners. We descended to the human world, not to be human, but to assist Master to rectify the Fa. We play different roles in our family to shoulder different missions, and we should be selfless. Balancing family well was part of our cultivation.
A Harmonious Falun Dafa Family
In many families, the daughter-in-law typically has a strained relationship with her mother-in-law. My family was the opposite. My daughter-in-law often praised my wife to her colleagues, relatives, and friends. We were a harmonious family.
Other practitioners came to my home, my son's home, and his mother-in-law's home to study the Fa, practice the exercises, produce Dafa materials, or work on other Dafa projects, and it has always been safe. Our relatives and friends have listened to us explain the facts about Dafa and have quit the CCP.
Our family members study the Fa in the morning and go out to tell people the truth about Dafa in the afternoon. Our relatives understand and support our practice of Falun Dafa, and they will never interfere.
Through 20 years of ups and downs, we have had our words and deeds adjusted by the Fa and created a harmonious family because of Dafa's wisdom. With the Fa in mind and being considerate of others, we did not delay doing anything. Helping family members obtain the Fa and helping sentient beings understand the truth about Dafa is our mission.
As Master said,
“When you change such that your presence is refreshing and uplifting to people, and your mind becomes broad and full of optimism, you will find the things around you to be correspondingly different.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
Balancing our family relationships well has filled us with happiness. It has been Dafa that has been granting us wisdom. While in the process of our improving as a team, we have deeply felt the great power of compassion.