Young Practitioner: Finding My True Self
(Minghui.org) I was born in China, and I am 14 years old this year. I have been practicing Falun Dafa with my mother since my childhood.
According to my mother, the weather was particularly cold and the clouds were overwhelming on the afternoon of my birth. Because I was big, my mother had a hard time giving birth to me. She was in labor for more than 10 hours, and then the doctor was suddenly unable to hear my fetal sounds. The doctor told my mother that the child was in danger, and they sent her to the operating room for an emergency caesarean section.
My grandmother and aunt sent forth righteous thoughts outside the delivery room the whole time to clear the interference, and asked Master Li [the founder of Falun Dafa] to save my life. I was finally born safely. My grandmother said that I came for the Fa, and Master saved me from the hands of the old forces. I am very grateful to Master for saving my life.
When I was five years old, I started to learn to read. When I was six, I was able read all of Zhuan Falun. I was very diligent in cultivation at that time. I often studied the Fa with my grandmother, and I also recited Hong Yin. My mother sometimes forgot to practice the exercises or study the Fa, and I often reminded her. I was a very diligent young disciple.
As I grew up though, bad things developed inside me. I became very polluted in school. I became addicted to the Internet, and my grades were not very good. Due to an attachment to comfort and all sorts of interference, I became less and less diligent with Fa-study and doing the exercises. Eventually, I simply stopped doing any of them, using the excuse that I was busy with my school work.
Master has been watching over me. A few years ago, my family and I moved to the United States.
After I came to the United States, I attended a school for the arts and had the opportunity to learn Chinese classical dance. I also joined the Tian Guo Marching Band. Master gave me five chances to go to the mountain to take the test to join Shen Yun Performing Arts. However, I failed every time because of my various attachments.
I once went for the exam, and the teacher said that I was 0.2 cm too short, so I could not be admitted. I was also overweight and needed to lose weight. The teacher talked to my mother for a long time. The staff did not feel good about rejecting me, because I was only a little too short for their requirements.
I found that I was always “a minute late and a dollar short” in everything; my weight, height, and cultivation status. I believe that I didn’t do what Master asked. Whatever I did, I felt that 90 percent would be good enough, that I didn’t have to be perfect, and I didn’t have to be too serious. But to participate in the important project of Shen Yun, it's different. Every dance movement and every note needs to be perfect. Ninety percent perfect will not achieve the effect of saving people. If I fail to save the sentient beings who deserve to be saved, then it is sin and a betrayal to Master and the numerous sentient beings in my universe.
I think this is also a manifestation of the party culture: to improvise and not make things perfect; whatever it is, 80-90 percent is good enough. This is also a kind of attachment. I recently entered Feitian, a traditional arts school in New York. My mother said that I should start learning how to cultivate myself.
“Everything through the ages,came about for the Fa”(“Just a Play,” Hong Yin II)
As a life coming for the Fa, I should also cultivate in the Fa, and I will use all I have to validate the Fa, help Master to rectify the Fa, and save the sentient beings.
When I first got into Feitian, my cultivation state was very bad. I felt like something was pulling me, and I really wanted to go home. At the beginning, I didn't realize that something of ordinary people was holding me down. I thought it was simply homesickness. But later, many bad thoughts arose to interfere with me. I recalled material things in ordinary human society, the delicious food and fun toys, and classmates and friends. And I felt tired and that it was too difficult at Feitian.
After talking with my mother, I began to recite a section in Zhuan Falun, “The Importance of a Strong Mind.” I recited it to my mother every day, and recited it to myself every day too. Sure enough, my mind became stronger and stronger every day. I awakened and remembered what I came here for. I also realized that I need to put down all of the attachments that had been interfering with me.
After a week, my mind underwent a big change – I realized that there are countless beings in my world waiting for me to save them. I need to dance well and get on the stage as soon as possible to save people. I need to do what Master wants. Master is saving people using the form of the arts. It is a great honor for me to help him in this way.
I need to cultivate through all the bitterness and tiredness, all the pain and tears, and eliminate my karma in this way. This bit of suffering is nothing compared to what Master has done for us. Master has suffered so much for me, and I only need to suffer a little bit. Not to mention that what I am doing is the most sacred thing in the whole universe!
After my thoughts changed, my heart became positive, and although the daily training is still exhausting, I don't passively endure the pain. Instead, I am using positive thoughts, thoughts of the divine, and taking the tests that come every day calmly. In my heart, I have less bad thoughts and more compassion.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I must not betray all the opportunities that Master has given me. Master has done too much for me. All I can do to pay him back is cultivate diligently.